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Forbes
7 hours ago
- General
- Forbes
5 Signs You Feel Truly Safe In Your Relationship, By A Psychologist
When most people evaluate their relationships, they focus on love, loyalty, chemistry or compatibility. While these are all important, they don't guarantee emotional well-being. What truly makes a relationship sustainable and nourishing — whether it's romantic, familial or just a meaningful friendship — is psychological safety. Psychological safety means you feel safe to be fully yourself. Unfiltered, messy, vulnerable, always changing, all without fear of being shamed, belittled or emotionally punished. It's a deep sense of trust that you can express your truth and still be held with respect. But how would you know if your relationship is psychologically safe? Here are five signs to look for, and ways to cultivate more of it in your life. In psychologically unsafe relationships, saying 'no' often comes at a cost. For example, saying no may be met with guilt trips, emotional withdrawal or a lingering sense of tension in the air. Over time, this teaches you to say 'yes' just to avoid conflict, even when it means ignoring your own needs. In contrast, psychologically safe relationships respect your 'no' as an essential part of who you are. It's not taken personally, nor is it seen as a rejection. Whether you're declining an invitation, asking for space or expressing disagreement, your partner holds space for it. They don't need you to mirror them in order to feel secure. This balance between a connection and independence is highlighted in a 2019 study that explored two foundational psychological needs in relationships: relatedness (feeling emotionally close to others) and autonomy (feeling free to act in alignment with your own values). The study found that people were more likely to respond constructively during conflict (a behavior known as accommodation) when they felt not only close to their partner, but also free to be themselves — independent and self-directed. In other words, healthy closeness doesn't require losing yourself. In fact, relationships where both people feel safe to say 'no' tend to be more resilient. They can tolerate difference without turning it into distance. So, what can you do when faced with this dynamic? Begin with small, honest assertions. Try saying, 'I won't be joining this weekend,' or 'That doesn't feel right to me' — without sugarcoating it with apologies. Then observe if the other person stays emotionally present and responsive. If so, you're likely in a space where both your need for connection and need for autonomy is being respected. One of the most telling signs of a lack of psychological safety in a relationship is a constant, nagging tension. It's that feeling that you have to watch your words, manage your tone or suppress your feelings to avoid setting the other person off. This emotional tiptoeing may not always involve loud conflict, but it breeds a quieter kind of distress which manifests as a chronic state of self-monitoring. Over time, you may begin to withhold joy, hide disappointment and shrink parts of yourself to avoid emotional backlash. A 2012 study published in The American Journal of Family Therapy, examining the relationship between PTSD symptoms, perceived emotional safety and relationship health found that feeling safe in a relationship fully mediated the impact of trauma symptoms on how well the relationship functioned. In other words, even when someone carries deep relationship wounds, what most determines the health of their relationship isn't the trauma itself but it's how safe they feel with their partner. Emotional safety, then, isn't a relationship accessory; it's really the foundation of a relationship. When a relationship offers consistent empathy and non-defensiveness, it allows both partners to lower their guard. They don't have to 'perform' emotional control. They can be real, even when that means being confused, vulnerable or not at their best. In safe relationships, there's room for full expression. You can have a bad day. You can bring up hard topics. You can even disagree without losing closeness. And if it's ever difficult to establish emotional safety, try this: Notice the next time you hesitate before sharing something good or bad. Ask yourself, 'Am I afraid of how they'll react?' Choose one thing you've been holding back. Could be an opinion, a request, a silly story, anything. Then share it gently but directly. Then observe: do they lean in, shut down, deflect or become defensive? Their reaction reveals how safe the space between you really is. More than conflict itself, it's often a lack of resolution that harms relationships. In psychologically unsafe dynamics, disagreements quickly spiral into blame or withdrawal. But in safe relationships, conflict doesn't mark the end of connection. It's simply seen as what it's meant to be — a moment to pause and look into ways of repair. A 2015 study by John Gottman and colleagues found that the most effective conflict repairs are emotional, not logical. They happen early, often within the first few minutes, and aim to shift the emotional climate through warmth, empathy, humor or vulnerability. These small cues say, 'We're still okay, even if we disagree.' When repair becomes part of the relationship culture, missteps feel less threatening. Partners don't fear conflict or tiptoe around hard feelings. Instead, they return to each other with care and curiosity, even if that return begins with an argument. The core idea is that you don't wait until emotions boil over. Reconnect early. Try saying, 'I've been thinking about what happened earlier, can we talk?' or 'I care more about us than about being right.' Early repair softens tension and steers the conversation away from escalation. Based on Gottman's research, repair doesn't have to be complicated. It just needs to be timely, genuine and emotionally aligned. Here are six tools to help achieve this: Remember, the goal isn't to avoid conflict. It's to make space for it and meet it with compassion. One of the hallmarks of relationship safety is that you feel expanded. You speak more freely, laugh louder and bring your full, layered self into the room. There's room for your contradictions: the thoughtful and the silly, the confident and the unsure. You're not filtering yourself to fit into a version you think will be more palatable. You're simply you, and that feels easy. Research on relational self-change supports this experience. It shows that in close relationships, our self-concept can shift in meaningful ways. People in supportive relationships often experience self-expansion (gaining positive traits) and self-pruning (letting go of negative ones). These changes are linked to greater satisfaction, more empathy and a stronger capacity for forgiveness. In short, the right relationship helps you grow into a better version of yourself. Unsafe relationships, on the other hand, lead to self-contraction where you shrink, suppress your voice or mold yourself to avoid tension. Over time, this chips away at your confidence and desire to stay in the relationship. So, try this check-in: After spending time with someone, ask yourself: 'Do I feel more like myself — or less?' If you feel clearer, lighter and more at ease, chances are you're in a relationship that supports your evolution rather than stifles it. Healthy relationships don't require performance. They welcome your becoming. As humans, we're not meant to stay the same. As we grow, our preferences, boundaries and beliefs will most definitely shift. Psychologically safe relationships allow space for that evolution without any guilt or resistance. A 2020 study published in Personal Relationships found that people who adapt their thoughts and behaviors in response to life changes experience greater well-being and relationship quality. Their openness also benefits their partners, deepening mutual connection and resilience. In unsafe dynamics, however, change is seen as a threat. You may be stuck in rigid roles like always being agreeable or emotionally available. Any attempt to redefine yourself is treated as confusing or disloyal. Your growth becomes a problem to solve, not a transformation to support. But safe relationships welcome your evolution. You're allowed to be dynamic. You're encouraged to set boundaries that reflect who you're becoming. So, whenever you notice yourself changing, name it. Point it out by saying, 'I know I used to be okay with this, but I've realized I'm not anymore.' Watch for whether you're met with curiosity or criticism. The answer speaks volumes about your relational safety. Do you also experience psychological safety outside of your relationship? Take the science-backed Psychological Safety Scale to find out.
Medical News Today
a day ago
- General
- Medical News Today
Appendicitis treated without surgery: Research and more
Yes, some people recover from appendicitis with antibiotic treatment alone, without the need for surgery. However, surgery remains the standard treatment. Appendicitis is inflammation of the appendix, a small pouch attached to the lower right of the large intestine. The standard treatment for appendicitis is an appendectomy, which is surgery to remove the appendix. This is typically straightforward and can cure the condition, but it carries risks, particularly for older adults and those with other health conditions. Emerging evidence shows that treating appendicitis with antibiotics is as successful as appendectomy in some people. In a 2023 long-term study in Sweden , researchers tracked the health of 259 people who had either surgery or antibiotics to treat appendicitis in the 1990s. The health of some people was tracked for over 26 years. The researchers found that in the nonsurgery group: 21 out of 137 people needed an appendectomy while still in the hospital following their initial admission. 34 out of 137 people later developed appendicitis and had appendectomy surgery. 82 out of 137 people did not require an appendectomy over the course of the study. Around 1 in 10 people required outpatient care for abdominal pain over the course of the study, compared with only 1 in the surgery group. This study suggests that surgery is not the only treatment option for appendicitis, but also highlights the risk of recurrence for people who do not have surgery. Researchers are currently working to establish who might be able to avoid surgery based on their general health, symptoms, and test results. Antibiotic treatment may be particularly helpful for people who are not good candidates for surgery or would prefer to avoid surgery. Some people wish to keep their appendix, which may have long-term benefits that are not yet fully understood. More research involving larger numbers of people is necessary before experts can draw conclusions about the best way to treat appendicitis.
Forbes
a day ago
- Health
- Forbes
Being Curious Might Help Keep Alzheimer's Disease At Bay: Study
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: A chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes) family enjoys Christmas treats of flavoured pine ... More cones and frozen fruit at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, 23 December 2004. The Christmas gifts form part of Taronga's on-going behavioural enrichment programme, aimed at stimulating the animals' natural curiousity. AFP PHOTO/Torsten BLACKWOOD (Photo credit should read TORSTEN BLACKWOOD/AFP via Getty Images) The secret to maintaining your brain health and staying sharp as you age might just be cultivating your sense of curiosity, a recent study found. Being curious during old age could also help in preventing or at least off-setting Alzheimer's disease. 'Curiosity is broadly defined as a desire to learn, experience, or explore new information or environments. It is a motivating influence that drives us to participate in hobbies, pursue education, and travel to experience new things,' the authors wrote in the study. 'Trait curiosity, defined as people's stable tendency to actively seek knowledge and information, has been correlated with a variety of positive traits in everyday settings. For example, in educational settings, curiosity is related to rates of student question-asking and academic performance. Additionally, medical students with higher levels of curiosity report having deeper motives for studying and engaging in deeper study strategies when learning new information,' the authors added. Psychologists measure curiosity as a state, where feeling curious is just a momentary or fleeting experience and as a trait, where it is a feature of an individual's personality and way of life. During old age, curiosity is the main factor that motivates people to engage in formal learning such as taking classes for learning a new skill. And such stimulating activities help in maintaining the brain's cognitive abilities. In a press release, senior author of the study, Alan Castel, a psychologist at UCLA said: 'You see this in the context of lifelong learning: A lot of older adults will go back to take classes or pick up hobbies or engage in bird watching. I think it shows that this level of curiosity if maintained, can really keep us sharp as we age.' To further investigate how the two forms of curiosity work in adults, the researchers collected data from 1,218 participants between the ages of 20 and 84. They completed an online questionnaire that measured their levels of curiosity. Some of the questions they answered included: 'What is added to white sugar to make brown sugar? (answer: molasses) and what is the name of the biggest constellation in the sky? (answer: hydra)." The researchers then rated each participant's curiosity level on a scale of one to 10. 'Age does not have a uniform influence on curiosity; rather, we need to consider the multifaceted nature of this construct when discussing aging effects,' they noted. 'Curiosity subsumes different levels of psychological processes (e.g., emotional processes, reinforcement, learning, attention, appraisal, etc.), each of which would be impacted differently by age.' Prior research has found that younger adults tend to be more curious about learning new topics while older adults feel more motivated to continue expanding their existing knowledge. 'It is important to consider some of the ways that older adults may maintain curiosity other than via trait curiosity measures. Specifically, older adults may be selectively curious about things that have greater self-relevance or that are relevant to their prior knowledge, which may benefit them in specific contexts. For example, if an older adult is curious about gardening, they may be more likely to read gardening magazines, join a gardening group, or to learn a new gardening skill,' the researchers highlighted in their study published in the journal PLoS One in May 2025. 'Engaging with any of these activities can be beneficial for overall well-being and cognitive outcomes in older age, for example by fostering social connections and learning complex new skills. Thus, it may be important to recognize and encourage specific domains of curiosity for older adults, rather than simply focusing on measures of trait curiosity,' they added.
Daily Mail
2 days ago
- Health
- Daily Mail
Experts pinpoint the most critical decade for your health... when damage can't be undone
Scientists have pinpointed the most important decade for your health. Smoking, drinking, and being inactive become entrenched in the decade between 36 and 46 and are harder to reverse, according to a new study. Each year a person continues an unhealthy habit, the damage is compounded, the researchers said. These habits gradually erode a person's metabolic and psychological health until they become part of a person's biology after 46. The study out of Finland showed that when a person reaches 30, each additional decade of risky behavior worsened their health through age 50 and beyond. 'Even a single risky behaviour increases the risk of premature death and diseases, but together with other health behaviours, the impact is cumulative,' the researchers concluded. 'Furthermore, the impact of these behaviours on health accumulates throughout a lifetime.' People who smoked, drank, and were physically inactive through their 20s saw few negative effects then, but those behaviors caught up with them, causing worse mental health, poorer self-rated health, and doubled metabolic risks such as high blood pressure, obesity, or diabetes by age their late-30s. Finnish researchers gathered patient data from a study spanning 1968 to 2021 on 369 people. Scientists calculated people's current risk scores based on how many risky behaviors they maintain currently, from zero behaviors (no risk) to three (the highest risk, i.e., smoking, drinking, and being physically inactive). A 36-year-old who smokes and drinks but also exercises would receive a two, while a 50-year-old who quit smoking but still drinks and doesn't exercise would get a score of one. They also looked beyond what behaviors a person has now. They looked at how many years a person maintained those harmful habits, known as the temporal risk score. People were told to count how many times they did each behavior at each age checkpoint – 27, 36, 42, 50, 61. Someone who smoked at 27, 36, and 42 but quit at 50, therefore, earned a temporal smoking score of three out of five. They concluded that people who currently have those risky behaviors had more depressive symptoms based on a scored 16-item questionnaire, higher metabolic risks measured by markers like high blood pressure, large waist, and low 'good' HDL cholesterol, lower psychological well-being based on a scored 18-question test, and worse self-rated health. People who had those behaviors now, as well as in decades previously, were even worse off. People who started smoking in their 20s and early 30s, as opposed to those who started in their 40s, were more than twice as likely to exhibit depression symptoms and psychological well-being scores that were 2.3 times worse. Similarly, people with metabolic risk factors early in life were twice as likely to experience chronic metabolic disorders compared to those who began experiencing those risk factors in middle age. Self-rated health among those with worse physical health early in life saw double the decline in self-rated health versus those who became more inactive in their 40s. Researchers said: 'Interestingly, the temporal accumulation of risky health behaviours was particularly associated with depressive symptoms in the present study. 'These results suggest that the accumulation of risky health behaviours over time may also be one of the important factors when preventing depressive symptoms and depression.' The study, published in the journal Annals of Medicine had several notable limitations, though. They could not establish that risky behaviors caused poor health, only that they are linked. Researchers also looked at a few risky behaviors while not considering several others, such as diet, sleep, or drug use. They also noted that the subjects were Finnish adults born in 1959, a population that may not reflect the United States. People may have also reported their health and habits through a rosier lens, concealing heavy drinking, misremembering bad habits, or not opening up about depressive symptoms, risking bias. Still, the study's 30-year longitudinal design and inclusion of several health outcomes, both physical and mental, provide rare and valuable insights into the effects of lifelong habits and whether humans can undo some of the damage. Smoking is tied to a laundry list of health problems, ranging from myriad cancers to chronic lung and breathing problems. Drinking excessively is known to cause severe liver damage that can prove life-threatening. And obesity is a leading risk factor for a range of chronic diseases. Health habits don't change much during middle adulthood, researchers said, becoming chronic concerns. Their findings stressed the importance of 'tackling risky health behaviours as early as possible' to keep these risks from piling up over the years, 'which can otherwise lead to poor mental well-being and health later in life.' The US is steeped in an epidemic of chronic diseases, such as cancers, diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. An estimated 133 million Americans – approximately 40 percent of the US population – have at least one chronic illness. Obesity is the most common among them. Forty-two percent of Americans have it. Scientists have known for years that lifestyle choices and trauma early in life, particularly childhood, significantly impact one's health later in life. But the latest study breaks new ground by revealing that it's not just what you do, it's when and for how long you do it.
CBC
2 days ago
- Health
- CBC
No social media for Quebec teens under 14 without parental consent, committee recommends
The recommendation was in the final report of an all-party government committee studying the impact of screen time on young people's health.
