logo
ENع
#

Latest news with #trip

Woman Says She Canceled Upcoming Trip After Learning Friend Assumed She'd 'Pay for Everything'
Woman Says She Canceled Upcoming Trip After Learning Friend Assumed She'd 'Pay for Everything'

Yahoo

time29-05-2025

  • General
  • Yahoo

Woman Says She Canceled Upcoming Trip After Learning Friend Assumed She'd 'Pay for Everything'

A 20-year-old woman said in a Reddit post that she was ready to start making travel plans with her friend, but their trip to Los Angeles never made it off the ground When it came time to purchase plane tickets, the woman said her friend said she didn't have the money, which led the woman to question whether her friend could even afford to go In response, her friend revealed that she just assumed the woman would cover most of their expenses since she has more money, which led to the trip getting canceledA woman is wondering if she was wrong to abruptly call off a trip with a friend after an awkward money situation unfolded. In a post to Reddit's "AITA" forum, a 20-year-old woman detailed how a "fun summer trip" to Los Angeles failed to get off the ground. The woman said that her friend, 21, had been talking about the idea for months, and since they live about 8 hours away, the woman just assumed flying would be the most practical mode of transportation. When she told her friend that it was probably time to book tickets, she wrote that her friend "looked really confused" and said she couldn't afford it, suggesting they drive there instead. That prompted more confusion. "If she can't afford a $150 plane ticket how was she planning to pay for the activities and places SHE wants to go (Nobu, jetskiing, shopping, clubs etc) which all add up," the woman wrote. To make matters worse, the woman wrote that since her friend doesn't have a driver's license, a road trip would mean she'd have to do all the driving herself. When she brought up the flaws in her friend's plan, the friend shrugged it off. "She kinda just laughed and said since I have money she assumed I would pay for a majority of her expenses," the woman wrote. "I was shocked because why would she assume I would pay for her expenses without even asking?" The woman wrote that yes, she was fine with picking up the tab for drinks or buying them something small like ice cream, but there was a limit. She went on to note that they had previously agreed to split hotel costs 50/50, and that seemed to be the one expense her friend was fine with covering herself. Ultimately, the woman told her friend she shouldn't have asked to go on the trip if she was expecting her to "pay for everything," but her friend didn't agree, arguing it's "unfair" because the woman can afford to pay for both of them. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Those in the comments unanimously took the woman's side. As one commenter, put it, her friend treated her like "an ATM," which isn't okay. "Of course this 'friend' is upset. She was dreaming of having a vacation on your dime," added another commenter. "There is always going to be someone who has more money," read another reply. "That doesn't mean that person is obligated to pay someone else's way." Read the original article on People

‘I said awful things about a friend while drunk – and I'm panicking that she might have overheard'
‘I said awful things about a friend while drunk – and I'm panicking that she might have overheard'

Irish Times

time25-05-2025

  • General
  • Irish Times

‘I said awful things about a friend while drunk – and I'm panicking that she might have overheard'

Dear Roe, I recently was on a girls' trip with some close friends. One of the nights I stayed up late with one of the girls, while the others went to bed. The two of us ended up quite drunk and I said some really awful things about our friend who was asleep in the next room. I would consider it possibly friendship-ending things – personal things about her and her marriage and about how I found her annoying during the trip. When I woke up and sobered up I realised we were probably not as quiet as we thought we were being, and there was a possibility she could have heard me through the walls. I'm overwhelmed with guilt as what I said wasn't stuff I feel deep down, or stuff I would want, or need, to say to my friend directly. She is an amazing person and is also going through a hard time at the moment. I have no idea why I said these things other than it being alcohol-fuelled bitchiness. She never mentioned it the next day, but I also haven't heard from her since the trip, which isn't completely unusual but has sent me into a bit of a panic. She's not confrontational so I don't think she would bring it up if she did hear – but now I'm not sure if I should mention the potential elephant in the room and ask her if she heard, or if I should move on and hope she was fast asleep that night. I'm so nervous for the next time we talk or see each other. Help! (And yes, this taught me a lesson about drinking and gossiping!) I don't answer too many friendship questions in the column but I think this one is helpful to address because in all types of relationships, we can catch ourselves taking other people for granted, speaking about them unkindly, and being a subpar version of ourselves. When we transgress, when we hurt other people, when we disrespect other people – whether they're aware of our transgression or not – it gives us an opportunity to reflect on our ideal version of ourselves and our relationships; the reality of how we are individually and in relationship with others; and doing the work to bridge that gap wherever possible. [ 'My ex blanks me at group events – and my family and friends make excuses for him' Opens in new window ] You've already started doing the work, and that's important. It takes courage – the uncomfortable, self-confronting type of courage – to do what you're doing right now; to look clearly at your behaviour without excuses or sugarcoating and admit to yourself that you failed yourself, and you failed someone you care about. It's the first step in becoming a better friend and person, so well done on taking it. READ MORE The next part of this journey is asking yourself how you got here, and what led to you saying friendship-ending things in the dark. Think about what made you say these things – not just thinking about the content of what you said, but what was behind it. Have you been feeling stretched thin in this friendship, trying to support someone who's going through a hard time while quietly carrying your own overwhelm? Is it possible you've been feeling unacknowledged, or maybe even a little envious of her ability to be vulnerable and take up space in ways that you haven't allowed yourself to? Sometimes, when someone is in crisis, we rally around them – but a quieter part of us resents that rally. Not because we don't love them, but because we haven't checked in with our own needs in the process. Or perhaps, if you're honest, a darker feeling crept in: a sense of relief that it's not you who's struggling, a flash of superiority or detachment – the kind we're often ashamed to name, but which live in all of us, particularly when we're tired, insecure or lonely. Judgment is after all, a well-worn shield for those exact feelings. If your gut won't let you rest, then honesty might be the path to peace. You don't have to spill every detail And what about beyond her? Have you been stressed? Unanchored? A little disconnected from yourself and others lately? When we gossip, it's often less about the person we're discussing and more about our own longing for closeness, control or a moment of power if we feel powerless in other parts of our lives. Did you find yourself falling into that old, seductive rhythm of saying something cutting to cement a bond with the person next to you? Have you done that before and if so, why? Is it discomfort with silence? A need to feel interesting or valuable? Do you worry that your presence alone isn't enough unless you're offering something sharp-edged, something that entertains? These aren't easy questions. They're not supposed to be. But they are fertile ground for growth. And if you're willing to answer them – really answer them – then you will walk away from this moment not diminished by it, but transformed by it. Now, let's turn to your friend, and what you can do. If you genuinely value her, there are a few paths forward. One option is to quietly commit to change. Support her more fully. Show her you appreciate her through actions, not just words. Let this moment be a reminder that you have the capacity to undermine the very relationships you hold dear and that you need to watch that impulse – but also remember that you also have the power to choose differently. But if your gut won't let you rest, then honesty might be the path to peace. You don't have to spill every detail. But you can say something like 'I've been reflecting since the trip and realised that lately, I've been operating from a place of stress and insecurity. I caught myself making comments about people – including you – that were unkind, unnecessary and not at all reflective of how I truly feel. I'm ashamed of that, and I'm working on the deeper reasons behind it. Whether or not you heard anything, I wanted to tell you because I care about you, and I don't want to be someone who talks about their friends like that. I'm sorry. And if you ever catch me doing it again about anyone, call me out.' Or if you want to deep dive into transparency, you could say something like 'I love you, and I need to tell you something hard. One night on the trip, I said some judgmental things about you that I deeply regret. They came from a messy, unkind place in me – not from the truth of how I feel about you, which is full of love and admiration. Whether or not you heard them, I needed to say I'm sorry. I'm working on myself so I never put our friendship in that position again.' [ 'My friend of 14 years has retreated from my life – should I keep chasing them?' Opens in new window ] Whatever you choose, do it fully and wholeheartedly. If you reveal you spoke about her and she didn't already know, she may be hurt or angry at the revelation and there may be an impact on your friendship in the short or long-term. But on the other hand, if she does know and you don't say anything, you may be letting some deep damage become irreparable through silence and inaction. At least by leading with honesty rather than cowardice, you create the possibility for a friendship with much more trust, honesty and mutual respect that may be even deeper than before. Think about who you want to be, and commit to a course of action that feels right. The feelings you are carrying right now aren't just guilt or anxiety that you betrayed a friend – they're a sign that you have betrayed yourself. Addressing this situation is an opportunity to become more aligned, more self-aware, and more intentional in your relationships. One mistake, even a sharp and painful one, does not define your worth as a friend. But how you meet the moment after the mistake? That's where your character truly lives. Befriend it. .form-group {width:100% !important;}

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into the world of global news and events? Download our app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store