16-05-2025
Individual Says Their Mom Is Treating Their Wedding 'Like a Funeral'
A person feels like their wedding is spiraling out of control after their mother — who has stage 4 cancer — began making requests
On Reddit, they said that they shifted away from their plan for an intimate ceremony in favor of a nearly 300-person guest list because the mother wanted to invite people host a big wedding
The wedding seems to be becoming "cancer themed get together" for the mother, not a celebration of love, the person wroteAn individual is struggling with their wedding morphing into what feels like a "cancer themed get together" for their mother.
In a post on Reddit's r/weddingdrama forum, the soon-to-be newlywed was looking for advice on how to reclaim their wedding, saying that it no longer reflected on them or their fiancée's desire for a private, intimate ceremony.
They said that their special day has been transformed into a nearly 300-person celebration due to their mother's wish for a big wedding.
In their post, they said that their mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, which has been a huge shock for the family. The revelation came as the couple was planning their wedding.
Their mom was overjoyed about the upcoming wedding and has been talking about the day on a Facebook page that her friends and family are following. The poster said that she was seemingly "using it as a distraction in her cancer posts," which they understood.
"My mom has been making posts about how excited she is for my wedding, how it's bringing her so much joy, and how everyone should follow along with her cancer/wedding journey," the individual wrote.
While the wedding was initially going to be a small affair with just their immediate family and closest friends, it took on a new life when the poster's mother offered to pay for a big wedding.
At its largest, the guest list reached 290 people, the post read, and was full of people the couple didn't talk to or had grown apart from. All of those guests were invited by the mother.
Neither the poster or their fiancée were thrilled about entertaining so many guests, "but the show must go on," they wrote.
"I think the first problem is it feels like a show, actually," the person wrote.
The couple discussed the possibility of marrying in private. The individual's response was "of course .. but cancer," they wrote. They added that their mom had poured so much time and effort into this wedding, and she would be hurt if they opted out of it.
Recently, the individual's friend brought up the Facebook page and said it is giving the wedding "the feeling of a cancer themed get together." They added that their friend said "a lot of the attention [was] being dragged away" from the couple.
"I have the strongest feeling no one is coming to my wedding for me and my love except for my wedding party ... I am trying to find a way to bring the positivity and focus back into it being our wedding, but I think everyone feels like my wedding is a going-away party," they wrote.
Other Redditors rallied behind the option of having a secret wedding — saying vows in private, even if it's not legally binding, then treating the big wedding as a "free party for you to attend and get gifts from."
That way, both the couple and the excited mom could get what they wanted from the big day.
Some stated that the mother's cancer diagnosis doesn't mean she should make the wedding "all about her."
In an update on the original post, the individual shared their gratitude for the advice. However, they also defended their mom, saying that she "is not a narcissist."
"She is having a narcissistic moment like all of us do," they wrote, adding, "she DOES love me, I pinky promise. she is proud of me and I am proud of her too, emotions just get complicated and muddled. We are dealing with loss before it happened, and I have painted this picture with angry feelings. She's still my mom."
Read the original article on People
