Real bravery begins with these three words

USA Today

05-02-2025

Real bravery begins with these three words | Opinion
It's only February, but my nomination for 'Person of the Year' goes to Pamela Hemphill. If you've forgotten that name — or maybe never heard it above the absolutely deafening noise of the past two weeks — you're not alone, so I will remind us.
Ms. Hemphill, once known in certain circles as the 'MAGA Granny,' was an active and gleeful participant in the January 6th, 2021 riot at the U.S. Capitol. Having flown from Idaho to D.C. to attend Trump's 'March to Save America' rally, she then went rallying right on to the Capitol Building at the encouragement of some Proud Boys, all with hopes of overturning the 2020 election through force.
Strange choice for Person of the Year, you might say. After all, MAGA Granny was found guilty and sentenced to 60 days in prison and three years probation for her role in an attack that led to death and widespread injury, including of some 150 police officers. But at that her story begins to change.
After serving her time, nearing the end of her parole, and — along with more than 1,500 other 'J6' rioters —receiving a full and complete presidential pardon on Donald Trump's first day back in the White House, Ms. Hemphill was the first of just two people to reject that pardon. This act makes her rare by definition. But what makes her truly heroic in my mind, and the reason I keep coming back to her story like its a lifeline in The Sea of Relentless Cruelty, are the three words she used to explain why on earth she would refuse a pardon from the very president she had been willing to put everything on the line for.
Those three words: 'We were wrong.'
While other pardonees, including a former Proud Boys leader serving 22 years in prison, thanked Trump for giving them their lives back and vowed retribution, Ms. Hemphill told her local newspaper, The Idaho Statesman, that accepting the pardon would be 'a slap in the face' of the police officers who protected the Capitol on January 6th and that she planned to file a rejection.
I have found myself desperate to learn more about this woman, in utter awe of her choice and her bravery. Not only is she brave in that — to do what she knows is right — she has made herself a public target for over one thousand newly free, accurately emboldened insurrectionists, many of whom have promised to get revenge, as well as to get guns. But she is uniquely brave in that to do what she now knows is right she has admitted that she was previously wrong. She has owned that she made a mistake, a really big mistake even, that she now regrets and accepts responsibility for.
What a concept. When I look at where we have arrived: at an unabashed doubling-down on racism, sexism, anti-immigrant and anti-trans hate, a lowering of our discourse, our standards, our safeguards, our morals, and — oops — not the price of eggs after all, my wish for every single one of us is to be as brave as Pamela Hemphill.
Ms. Hemphill didn't abandon the Proud Boys ideology quickly or painlessly. But with time, the nagging truth of what she saw unfold with her own eyes on January 6th allowed her to question what she had come to believe, including whether or not the 2020 election was really stolen. And if that was a lie, what else was a lie? Watching what now unfolds before our eyes, I beg of us to reach for this clarity.
I'm not of the illusion that all, or even many, flag-carrying Proud Boys will ever see the error of their ways and change course, but there have to be more Pamela Hemphills out there. And if the rest of us want to encourage the changing of their hearts and minds, we would be wise to consider where those three words — we were wrong — may apply to more of us.
Throughout our history, America has inched closer to its promise of 'freedom and justice for all' precisely when we have been brave enough to admit that we have not lived up to it: that enslavement cannot be justified, that separate is not equal, that lynching is murder, that love is love. And while we continue the work to fully realize even the milestones listed above, we will face backlash at every turn until we, as a country, face the full truth of our history, not just including, but especially, the parts where we were wrong.
Right around the time Ms. Hemphill was storming the Capitol in 2021, I came across the work of two psychologists who study American behavior related to race. Compiling decades of research from experts across numerous fields, Drs. Bryan Nichols and Medria Connolly draw a jaw-dropping comparison between white Americans' behavior regarding our legacy of enslavement to that of Vietnam Veterans suffering mental distress, with symptoms related to, but different from, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD occurs when the victim of violence or abuse suffers ongoing terror, panic, and depression. Conversely, psychologists observe that those who have had a hand in committing or witnessing crimes against humanity often suffer a "moral injury" that, left unaddressed, manifests in persistent combinations of denial, rage, and fear – all activated in favor of confronting the shame that lies beneath. Think of the denial, rage, and fear we see today.
History shows us, again and again, that regular people, like you and me, are capable of both great and terrible things. Pamela Hemphill shows us that we are also capable of taking accountability for the latter and changing course. When we are brave enough.
Caitlin Lombardi is a mother of three living on Bainbridge Island. She works for the nonprofit The Who We Are Project.