My mother died of assisted suicide and now I'm doing the same for a heartbreaking reason

Daily Mail​

2 days ago

A retired Canadian pilot battling terminal cancer is preparing to die this summer in the same way his mother did - more than a decade after her final act helped inspire the country's controversial assisted dying laws.
Price Carter, 68, from Kelowna, British Columbia, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer last spring.
The disease is incurable, but rather than fearing his impending death, Carter is calmly preparing for it - determined to go out on his own terms with the help of Canada 's Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) program.
'I'm okay with this. I'm not sad,' he told the The Canadian Press this week in a candid interview.
'I'm not clawing for an extra few days on the planet. I'm just here to enjoy myself.
'When it's done, it's done.'
Carter is set to tread a path blazed by his mom, Kay Carter, who in 2010 secretly flew to Switzerland to end her life at the Dignitas facility, an assisted-dying organization, aged 89, following an excruciating years-long battle with spinal stenosis.
At the time, assisted dying was illegal in Canada, but Kay's story sparked a national conversation.
Five years later, in 2015, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that, in certain circumstances, competent adults suffering from intolerable illnesses or ailments have the constitutional right to seek medical assistance in dying (MAID).
The ruling became known as the Carter decision.
The federal government followed the ruling with legislation in 2016, and later expanded eligibility following a court challenge in March 2021.
Now, Price Carter is preparing to utilize the very law his mother's death helped birth.
'I was told at the outset, 'This is palliative care, there is no cure for this.' So that made it easy,' he told the National Post of his decision.
'I'm at peace,' he added. 'It won't be long now.'
Unlike his mother, Carter won't be required to travel thousands of miles to end his life.
When the time comes, he plans to die in a hospice suite, surrounded by his wife, Danielle, and their three children, Grayson, Lane, and Jenna.
Carter said he has chosen not to die at home because he doesn't want the space, which has been filled with so many happy memories over the years, to be transformed into a place of grief.
He plans to spend his final hours playing board games with his wife and children.
Then, after taking three different medications, his life will be over.
'Five people walk in, four people walk out, and that's okay,' he told The Globe and Mail, envisioning his death.
'One of the things that I got from my mom's death was it was so peaceful.'
Price Carter, along with his two sisters and brother-in-law, accompanied Kay Carter on her surreptitious trip to Switzerland in 2010 to be with her for her final hours.
Before her death, Kay penned a letter explaining her decision to end her life, and her family helped draft a list of 150 people to send it to after the procedure was completed.
She was unable to alert them of her intentions ahead of time because of the risk that Canadian authorities would attempt to stop her from traveling to Switzerland or prosecute any family members who assisted her.
Price said he remembers his mom's death vividly.
After filling out the necessary paperwork, she settled into a bed and ate chocolates before a physician gave her a lethal dose of barbiturates to make her heart stop.
What stood out to Price Carter was how at peace his mother seemed, following years of being robbed of mobility and crippled by excruciating pain brought on by her spinal condition.
'When she died, she just gently folded back,' he recounted.
Reflecting on that moment reduced him to tears. However, he insisted he wasn't crying out of sadness - instead, he was moved by how serene and graceful the process was.
'When it was with my mom, it was one of the greatest learning experiences ever to experience a death in such a positive way,' he told the Globe.
'If I can give that to my children, I will have been successful.'
Carter said he is at peace with the road ahead. He isn't interested in pity or condolences.
He had spent much of the last few months swimming and rowing. But as the symptoms of his deadly affliction take hold, his energy is beginning to fade, and now he passes the time he has left gardening or fixing his pool.
Carter recently completed one medical assessment for MAID and expects to undergo a second this week.
If his application is approved, he could be dead by the end of the summer.
'People don't want to talk about death,' he said.
'But pretending it won't come doesn't stop it. We should be allowed to meet it on our own terms.'
MAID has long been a contentious topic of debate in Canada, prompting discussion on whether the procedure should be legal and who should qualify.
In 2021, when the law was expanded, a controversial clause was included that would allow people suffering solely from a mental disorder to be considered eligible for assisted death.
The proposed change prompted widespread panic among lawmakers and mental health professionals nationwide, and the amendment has now been delayed until March 2027.
Last October, Quebec became the first province in Canada to allow advanced requests for MAID, allowing people with dementia or Alzheimer's to formally request assisted death ahead of time, before they are no longer capable of consenting.
Carter is calling for the policy to be adopted nationwide.
He believes limiting advanced MAID requests to only Quebec is leaving vulnerable people to waste away in fear elsewhere in the country.
He said advanced requests afford individuals the comfort of knowing they aren't, as he bluntly put it, 'going to be drooling in a chair for years.'
'We're excluding a huge number of Canadians from a MAID option because they may have dementia and they won't be able to make that decision in three or four or two years. How frightening, how anxiety-inducing that would be,' he said.
Dying with Dignity Canada, a national charity that advocates for access to MAID, is echoing Carter's call.
Helen Long, who heads the organization, but declined to be interviewed for this story, pointed to polling figures that reportedly show the majority of Canadians support advanced requests for MAID.
Statistics show that assisted dying is becoming more common in Canada, according to the National Post.
In 2023, the latest year for which national statistics are available, 19,660 people applied for the procedure, and just over 15,300 were approved.
More than 95 percent of those were individuals whose deaths were considered reasonably foreseeable, the outlet reported.