Wales coach's 21-year-old son becomes refereeing prodigy after realising he wasn't big enough to play

Wales Online

07-05-2025

Wales coach's 21-year-old son becomes refereeing prodigy after realising he wasn't big enough to play
It's been a remarkably rapid rise for the young Welshman
Referee Ben Connor gives Teddy Williams of Cardiff a yellow card on Judgement Day
(Image: Huw Evans Picture Agency Ltd )
It's been some season for Ben Connor.
In October, he became the youngest ever referee to take charge of a BKT URC match - aged just 21. He went on to be the man in the middle for the finals of two prestigious World Series Sevens events in Cape Town and Hong Kong. Then, last month, he refereed the crucial Judgement Day clash between the Ospreys and Cardiff at the Principality Stadium.
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It's been a remarkably rapid rise for the young Welshman, but he appears to be taking it all in his stride and just enjoying the opportunities. Join WalesOnline Rugby's WhatsApp Channel here to get the breaking news sent straight to your phone for free
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Rugby is very much in his blood, with his father Shaun having been a fly-half for the Ospreys and Dragons, ahead of moving into a coaching career which now sees him working with the Wales women's team.
As Ben explains, he initially followed in his father's footsteps.
'I played up until I was 16 for Abertillery RFC and a bit for Dragons U16s. I was a No 10, the same as dad,' he says.
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'Rugby has been in my life since I was born. I have always wanted to be involved in the game.
'When I was 16, I realised I wasn't particularly the biggest person. There were boys the same age as me who were a foot taller and weighing lots more.
'So I just thought there have got to be other ways to be involved.
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'Luckily, I had already done a bit of refereeing. I did my level one course when I was 14 and the last two years I was playing, I combined that with reffing junior games.
'As soon as I turned 16, it was a case of either refereeing or playing basically.
'I had started to enjoy refereeing more than playing and realised there were probably more opportunities for me in going down that road. So, I thought why not give it a go?
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'I stopped playing and started refereeing every Saturday - second team and youth team games. So that's how it started.
'I did my first senior first team game when I was 18 and started refereeing Division 5 and 6 games.'
Shaun Connor, middle, coaching Wales Women
(Image: Huw Evans Picture Agency Ltd )
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Connor was included in a development group run by Sean Brickell, from the WRU's referees department, and then assigned a coach in the shape of Ian Davies who is now the Union's elite match official manager.
'I have always had a good relationship with Ian,' he says.
'He has been there and guided me from Division Five all the way up to where I am now.'
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There have been a number of landmarks along the way for Connor over the past couple of years.
In 2023, having only just turned 20, he became the first overseas referee since 1964 to take charge of the feature match at the famous Craven Week in George, South Africa.
'You go over there thinking it's an U18s schools tournament and you get there and some of the boys who were 16, 17, 18 were absolutely towering over me and probably twice my weight!' he recalls.
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'The standard of schoolboy rugby in South Africa is just unbelievable - the physicality, the speed of it. It was a great experience.'
Then last year came the landmark moment when he was selected to take charge of the league fixture between Zebre Parma and Emirates Lions at the Stadio Sergio Llanfranchi.
That saw him - at 21 - become the youngest ever referee in a URC match, surpassing the record held since 2013 by Ireland's Sean Gallager who had been 23.
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'I was on my way home from a Sevens tournament in Colorado in August when Ian (Davies) rang me,' he reveals.
'He asked me how it had gone and then said 'Oh, one more thing, you've got a URC game in October'.
'I was obviously a bit shocked because I had no inkling this was going to come. I didn't expect it for at least another couple of years.
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'But, as soon as I knew I'd got it, it was just a case of looking forward to it. It was another opportunity to put my name out there and show what I can do.'
Reflecting on the game, which the Lions won 10-9, he said: 'It was good. My main aim going out there was obviously to referee well, but also, being so young, not to look out of place.
'There was obviously a lot of chat about how young I was, the same with the Judgement Day game, with articles about how I am only 21.
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'But, ultimately, as soon as you step on the field, players, coaches and spectators are not really bothered by how young or how old you are, it's just whether you do a good job.'
More memorable moments followed as Connor refereed the HSBC World Sevens Series final between South Africa and France in Cape Town in December and then the showpiece final of Argentina v France at the Hong Kong Sevens in March.
'I don't really suffer from nerves. I feel like I referee better when there's a bit of pressure on me,' he said.
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'If you are going out to referee the final of the Hong Kong Sevens in front of 40,000 people, it's just excitement and looking forward to it.
'The Sevens equips you for refereeing at big stadiums in front of lots of people, having to make decisions under pressure.'
Then, in April, came perhaps Connor's highest profile appointment yet as he was handed the big Judgement Day showdown between URC play-off hopefuls Ospreys and Cardiff at the Principality Stadium.
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'I had refereed there once before - a Dewar Shield U16s final between Cardiff and Rhondda Schools in 2022,' he says.
'I think there were probably a couple of hundred people there for that. So it was quite a different experience with Judgement Day.
'Of course I was aware going into the game what was on it, with both teams still able to qualify for the top eight.
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'But, ultimately, I just had to focus on going out there and doing my job.
'I know it was Ospreys against Cardiff, but that day it just had to be black against red and get on with it.
'As soon as you start thinking about the occasion, you can lose your focus.
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'It's good to acknowledge there is a lot on the game, but when you go out there you just forget about it and do what you normally do.'
So just how does Connor approach the job of refereeing given his pretty unique age profile?
'It's probably tough being a bit younger,' he admits.
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'I used to feel that I had to put my stamp on the game. Players are smart and as soon as they spot a bit of weakness, they know they can attack that and maybe take advantage of it.
'Now I feel I like to let the game breathe a bit maybe.
'It's a case of the less whistle the better really because people don't want to see you blowing the whistle, they want to see the players, it's about them.
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'I could pick out an offence at every breakdown if I wanted to referee that way. But, if you do that, you probably end up with 50 penalties and people will have turned off after 20 minutes because it's just a rubbish game of rugby to watch.
'I think what the best referees do is realise in the first 10-15 minutes what the game needs. Does it need a lot of whistle and a lot of structure or are you able to sit back and allow the players to dictate how the game is going to unfold?'
Refereeing can at times seem a bit of a thankless task with all the scrutinising of decisions, but Connor has no concerns on that front.
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'The point I'm at now, I enjoy it too much to worry about the other stuff that comes with it,' he says.