logo
Julie Jay: Is there ever a good time to have kids?

Julie Jay: Is there ever a good time to have kids?

Irish Examiner06-05-2025

Recently, a friend was venting about the spiralling costs of rebuilding her dream home, west of Dingle town.
As she talked me through their plans and how the amount of bureaucracy required to draw down the derelict-home grant was nothing short of scandalous, I nodded along, like a woman who could somehow empathise with her plight, despite my only experience of renovating a home starting and ending with my love of the show Property Ladder back in the noughties.
It starred the inimitable Sarah Beeny - a property development icon and inventor of the beanie hat.
Given that I am currently paying back the cost of a €50 coffee machine in instalments, it's safe to say this friend and I are in different seasons of our lives.
But as her brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed like Puss in Boots's, I tried to allay her fears as best I could that this was, as she feared, a terrible time to be taking on such a big project.
'Building a house is like having a child, there's never a right or a wrong time to do it,' I announced with a surprising level of confidence, and my friend positively purred in delight.
No doubt the many, many property developers who read this article (I've heard I'm very big down the docks) would disagree with this statement and insist that there is indeed a good time to build a house (1954) and most certainly a bad time to seek planning permission (2025). Still, I believe my statement stands when it comes to the next generation of planning-permission seekers.
I was born in 1983 (my worryingly receding hairline might suggest I am, in fact, a '70s child), and a few years back, I took great interest in watching the episode of Reeling In The Years that examined the year of my birth, up until the point that the final vox pop contributor asserted that anyone with sense would get out of this country as soon as physically possible.
What on earth were my parents thinking, choosing to have not one, but two children in the middle of a dire economic depression? Surely, they could have waited until we were out of the recession, before deciding to procreate?
As anyone alive in the 20th century will attest, the answer is no, because things didn't really pick up until 1995, which would have had my mother up there with Janet Jackson in terms of maternal miracles.
I often fret about the world I have brought my children into. Between what is currently happening in Gaza, global instability, and a housing crisis that doesn't seem like it will be solved anytime soon, it is easy to feel despondent that the timing for adding two more people to the mix was wrong.
Seeing the increasing number of weather-related disasters, I have, more than once, asked myself what kind of future lies ahead for my two boys. In a week where we have been enjoying higher temperatures than Barcelona, it occasionally does niggle at me that somehow this isn't right.
As much as we love rubbing salt into the wound of anyone who went to Spain only to be without power for 18 hours and counting, global warming can no longer be denied.
When I think of social media, I sometimes despair at how it will be nearly impossible to protect children from what is sure to be a space that will cause them some form of anxiety, be that social, emotional, or purely related to finding a TikTok sketch their father threw up circa 2020, where he is trying to teach their heavily pregnant mother the cha cha. In other words, a tape no child should have to see.
When Bebo first landed on these shores at the turn of the millennium, I was so insecure about the social totem pole that I spent the majority of the time working in a West Kerry call centre, calling my best friend on loop and asking him to visit my page to get the hits up.
I can only imagine the competition that my own two will have to deal with when some children are hitting transition year and have already amassed more followers than the population of their medium-sized town.
Sometimes, I ask myself whether my timing for having children is selfish or ill-considered. But then I remember that I didn't meet their dad until 2018, so my hands were pretty much tied.
Having children beforehand would have meant having different children completely, and given that some of my previous partners liked Joe Rogan, that just doesn't bear thinking about.
There is never a good time or a bad time to have children. Just ask Madonna, whose pregnancy on the set of Evita had initially been seen as massively problematic by studio executives, only to have no impact on the film.
Yes, terrible things are happening in the world right now, but there are also lots of good developments, such as cartoons on demand.
In other words, there has never been a better time to bring forth children, but maybe hold off on the house-building if you can (apparently, bricks are expensive).

Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

13 of the late Brian Wilson' s finest songs to revisit
13 of the late Brian Wilson' s finest songs to revisit

Los Angeles Times

time26 minutes ago

  • Los Angeles Times

13 of the late Brian Wilson' s finest songs to revisit

Brian Wilson's death on Wednesday at the age of 82 heralds an end to one idea of Southern California — as the temperate paradise of ascendant Americana. Exuberance and dreaminess, writerly sophistication and technical ambition, drugs and madness: Wilson's exquisite craft captured all of it, with his band the Beach Boys leaving behind a singularly inventive and exultant body of work, one that scripted and embodied California to the world. His vast catalog of incomparable achievement also contained thwarted hopes and despair amid his drug abuse and mental illness. It should be revisited in its full range today. These are a few of his hallmark accomplishments as a writer, arranger and performer. Surfer Girl (1963)Unbelievably, impossibly the first single that Brian Wilson ever wrote. So sophisticated and delicate in its moon-eyed teenage passions, full of artful melodic moves bolstered by the pure-water harmonies that would define the group. The song that set the template for a SoCal subculture, and a band to eventually rival the Beatles. In My Room (1963)Perfectly captures the loneliness and sanctity of young solitude over a lovely doo-wop arpeggio. It's a bracingly vulnerable track for a boy band to write in any era of masculinity. Warmth of the Sun (1964)What a beautiful composition to come right in the wake of the Kennedy assassination. Soaked with loss, redeemed by those radiant chord changes showing Wilson's escalating ambitions as a writer, here with Mike Love. Don't Worry Baby (1964)Riffing off the Ronettes' hit the year before, this early cut served double duty as a sincere portrait of romantic comfort and safety, and a reassurance for Wilson's own insecurities as a performer on stage and in life. The regal vocal here proved it worked. Please Let Me Wonder (1965)An absolute swoon. Wilson was ramping up to the sonic inventions of 'Pet Sounds,' but this era-transitional single captured the old lovelorn magic and dreaminess in an increasingly robust arrangement. California Girls (1965)Written with Love after the Beach Boys' first European tour, this hallmark single is diabolical in its sincerity and craftsmanship, a gobsmacked appreciation for all the world's women that probably did as much to build the Golden State's global reputation as Hollywood and the microchip. Caroline, No (1966)It's hard not to pack this list with songs from 'Pet Sounds,' but this one stands out for its poignancy about time passing and the grind of life changing a lost love. Wilson regarded it as one of his best, and with its striking instrumental palette of harpsichord and flutes, it's easy to agree. God Only Knows (1966)From the opening bait-and-switch lyric to the quiet, tidal shifts in tone and that regal outro, it may be the emblematic Beach Boys song. It will never lose its potency as a crowing statement of devotion. Go get married to it, or ponder its existential desperation. Good Vibrations (1966)Probably the definitive Beach Boys single in that it has absolutely everything they're beloved for — compositional genius, technical invention and immaculate performances spliced from four different studios into one incandescent, emblematic single. Darlin' (1967)The Beach Boys were in decline by 1967 — in health and hipness alike. Wilson revamped a song he wrote with Mike Love (for what became Three Dog Night). Now as a rollicking horn-driven soul number (with a great vocal from Carl Wilson), it became an unexpected highlight of this era for the band. Cabin Essence (1969 and 2004)A core piece of the mangled, unfinished 'Smile' sessions, the song took Wilson four decades to get right and finally release as part of his own effort to finish the LP. It's packed with ideas from all over the American songbook — Aaron Copland and western folk, run through with Wilson's own cracked impressionist view of life on the rails. Surf's Up (1971)'A blind class aristocracy, back through the opera glass you see / The pit and the pendulum drawn.' An elegy for the hopeful '60s, with a wry title that lays the band's old sunny optimism in the grave. Til I Die (1971)A wrenching composition evoking a declining Wilson's hopelessness and despair, all the more striking for its exuberant production. It feels even weightier on today of all days — 'How deep is the ocean, I've lost my way.'

Israeli forces recover bodies of two hostages in Gaza, PM says
Israeli forces recover bodies of two hostages in Gaza, PM says

Yahoo

time26 minutes ago

  • Yahoo

Israeli forces recover bodies of two hostages in Gaza, PM says

Israeli security forces operating in Gaza have recovered the bodies of two Israeli hostages, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says. He named one of them as Yair (Yaya) Yaakov, 59, who was killed inside his home at Kibbutz Nir Oz during the Hamas-led attack on southern Israel on 7 October 2023. His teenage sons, Or and Yagil, and his partner, Meirav Tal, were abducted alive and released in November 2023, as part of a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas. Netanyahu said the name of the other hostage had not yet been released, but that their family had been informed. There are now 53 hostages still being held by Hamas in Gaza, at least 20 of whom are believed to be alive. News of the recovery of Yair Yaakov's body initially came from his sons. "Dad, I love you," Yagil wrote in a post on Instagram on Wednesday evening, according to the Haaretz newspaper. "I don't know how to respond yet. I'm sad to say this. I'm waiting for your funeral, I love you and knew this day would come." Yagil also thanked the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) and the Shin Bet internal security service and expressed hope that the remaining hostages "will be brought [back] in a deal that doesn't risk soldiers". Later, Netanyahu issued a statement saying: "Together with all the citizens of Israel, my wife and I extend our deepest condolences to the families who have lost their most beloved." "I thank the soldiers and commanders for another successful execution of the sacred mission to return our hostages." The Hostages and Missing Families Forum, which represents many hostages' families, said in a statement that it "bows its head in sorrow over the murder of Yaya and shares in the profound grief of the Yaakov family". "There are no words to express the depth of this pain," it added. "The hostages have no time. We must bring them all home, Now!" The Israeli military launched a campaign in Gaza in response to the 7 October attack, in which about 1,200 people were killed and 251 others were taken hostage. At least 55,104 people have been killed in Gaza since then, according to the territory's Hamas-run health ministry.

Gavin Newsom is having his social media moment
Gavin Newsom is having his social media moment

Fast Company

time26 minutes ago

  • Fast Company

Gavin Newsom is having his social media moment

'Fuck around' and 'find out,' read a TikTok post, following a screenshot announcing that California is suing President Donald Trump for deploying the National Guard to the streets of Los Angeles. But the TikTok wasn't shared by a typical meme account—it came from California Governor Gavin Newsom. 'I damn near fell over when I realized this was Gov. Newsom's page,' one user commented. Since Friday, demonstrations have erupted across Los Angeles in protest of the president's immigration policies and the ongoing Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids. Although many of the demonstrations have remained peaceful, there have been violent incidents including authorities deploying tear gas and rubber bullets, and protestors setting Waymo vehicles ablaze throughout the city. As tensions escalated, the Trump administration deployed the National Guard and Marines—despite objections from local officials—sparking a lawsuit from the state, threats of arrest against Governor Newsom, and a surge of defiant memes. 'And remember kids, the next time anybody tells you 'the government wouldn't do that', oh yes they would,' says the popular TikTok sound used on Newsom's official account video, playing over screenshots of news headlines and images of armed forces confronting demonstrators. In another viral video from the governor's page, which amassed over 5.4 million views, Taylor Swift's 'You Need To Calm Down' plays over a series of photos of the two politicians. 'r u ok?' the post asks, with a caption reading: 'America's keyboard warrior.' Newsom's clapback drew widespread praise in the comments. 'I do disagree with Newsom a lot but him standing up to tyranny and standing with your state takes some serious guts. Hats off to you Newsom,' wrote one user. He's also taken to his personal account to deliver meme-laced messages to Trump—one featuring a photoshopped image of the president wearing a crown, captioned 'send in the troops.' The slideshow ends with a shot from the musical Hamilton, with text reading: 'Democracy is under assault right before our eyes. It's time for all of us to stand up.' The online showdown has significantly boosted Newsom's social media presence, growing his personal TikTok account by approximately 397,000 followers and his official Governor account by 479,000 since Friday. Newsom is the latest in a growing number of politicians leveraging memes and social media to bypass traditional media and speak directly to the public through humor. Famously, Kamala Harris gained momentum during her presidential campaign with ' Brat summer ' and the coconut tree trend, while Joe Biden leaned into the viral ' Dark Brandon ' meme during his reelection campaign. Although meme strategies can generate enthusiasm and visibility, the 2024 election results suggest that online popularity doesn't always translate at the polls.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into the world of global news and events? Download our app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store