Leicester Church of England: A preacher asked me out and then started stalking me

BBC News

a day ago

It seemed like a harmless encounter.It was the summer of 2021, and Jay Hulme, a volunteer at St Nicholas Church in Leicester, was on the door, welcoming people. That's when Venessa walked in."There was something awkward about her," he recalls. "But I assumed it was about being in a new church with new people, and we were just coming out of the pandemic. There was no red flag."Venessa Pinto, employed by the Leicester diocese of the Church of England as a lay preacher - a non-ordained person who can lead worship - returned a few more times to Jay's church.A few weeks later, they both happened to be at a midweek service in Leicester Cathedral. When it was over, she approached him and asked to speak privately. They stepped into the quiet of the old cathedral graveyard.Then she asked him out."I was very taken aback, because I didn't know her. And I was like, 'I'm gay, but thank you for asking.' But she asked me if it was because she was black."Jay was startled by the question. He gently reiterated that he could not go out on a date because he was gay - and also not in the right place for a relationship."I left it thinking, 'That was very awkward', but I think, 'That's the end of that.'"It wasn't.In fact, it was the beginning of a devastating campaign of stalking and harassment. And when Jay complained, the highest authority in the Church in Leicester - a top contender to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury - said he didn't believe him. Instead, he accused Jay of witchcraft.
'Vile man'
That summer, Jay Hulme, then in his mid-twenties, was at a very happy juncture in his life. He was a poet and author, an assistant warden at the LGBT-friendly St Nicholas Church and known on social media for his love of church buildings and theology.He was exploring his Christian faith and considering the possibility of training to become a priest in the coming years."I'm also trans, I'd come out a number of years before, and I'd finally come to a place of full and complete happiness with who I was. I saw my future unfurling before me in a way that had felt impossible before," he reminisces.After being rejected, Venessa, also then in her mid-twenties, sent Jay a series of "angry and accusatory" messages, saying he was gossiping about her. Though he tried to reassure her he wasn't, she was adamant.To try to resolve things, Jay agreed to a demand from her to meet. He had been determined that the meeting happened outside in public but a heavy rainstorm meant they ended up inside, alone together at her place of work.He says she yelled at him, telling him he was a liar, a racist and an awful person - demanding an apology over and over again without telling him what he was supposed to have done.Unsettled, Jay stopped interacting with Venessa and avoided her when she continued to come to his church. But then he started to get messages from anonymous online accounts which could be seen by his social media followers.
Jay quickly worked out the author was Venessa. She even sent him an email from her personal account apologising for what she described as the "pain" she'd caused.But the nastiness online escalated, with Venessa publicly making false allegations and threats.
Jay was concerned for his safety. He reported the harassment to Leicestershire Police. He says he didn't want Venessa prosecuted at that point - just for the abuse to stop.But he heard nothing back and the abuse continued relentlessly. Each time he blocked an account, another would spring up. Jay felt he had no way of escaping it."I felt like she was in my pocket, and in my house, and in my brain all of the time, saying these horrendous things and I couldn't get away," he says.Jay needed to stay online because of his writing and speaking commitments. But he was beginning to lose contracts. He suspects that was because of the allegations about him online.Finally, weeks after reporting it, the police did visit Venessa. The outcome was far from satisfactory for Jay."She told the officer that it was her friends who were sending the messages, and the officer told her to tell them to stop. I was told by the police that I should just delete my social media," he says.Jay says he got the impression the police did not appreciate the seriousness of the abuse because it was online.
Stalker books onto same retreat
The police visit triggered even more angry messages from Venessa.Jay then started assembling a powerful body of evidence, now on a mission to prove the messages had not been sent by Venessa's friends, but by Venessa herself.He compiled a detailed spreadsheet setting out the connections between the numerous anonymous accounts which had sent abuse or posted allegations about him. They all led back to Venessa.Having lost faith in the police, Jay handed all this evidence to the Church of England, which promised to investigate his formal complaint.While he waited, he thought he would get some respite by going to a silent Jesuit retreat in rural Wales. Days later, a colleague told him Venessa had booked to go to the very same retreat.Jay had booked last minute and says there were not many slots left. "It's in the middle of nowhere. As far as I'm concerned there is no way that could have happened naturally."Jay left the retreat just hours before Venessa arrived. It left him terrified, feeling the stalking had now gone beyond the confines of the internet.
Accused of witchcraft
Finally, there was some positive news for Jay.Back in Leicester, the Church HR investigation concluded Venessa had been responsible for the abuse, to Jay's huge relief. He assumed that would be the end of it.But almost as soon as that happened, there was an unexpected turn.He was called into a meeting with the Bishop of Leicester, Martyn Snow - who's seen as a favourite to become the next Archbishop of Canterbury, leader of the Church of England.
Jay thought Venessa was going to lose her job. But it turned out the bishop had conducted his own investigation."I go in and the bishop sits down with this thick folder on his knee. And he begins to question me about my complaint. He actually states that 'It's he said, she said'."The bishop said he didn't believe that Venessa had been responsible for the harassment. And he wouldn't uphold Jay's complaint against her.Then he made an extraordinary accusation about Jay."Somebody had given a statement that I had been seen in the church, in the darkness, with a candle – and they thought I was conducting a seance. For clarity, I was praying with a candle in the dark, because that's a thing that Christians do," says Jay.It got worse.Bishop Snow accused him of practising witchcraft - both because of the "seance" and the fact Jay happened to have a close friend who was a tarot card reader."It felt like an enormous gut punch. These made-up allegations were being presented to me by a person with the power of a bishop, in a meeting which I suddenly realised I had no control over," says Jay."She [Venessa] had somehow managed to make a bishop become part of her stalking campaign of harassment and threats, and use his power and position, and I couldn't believe it was happening."Jay says he was told Venessa would not lose her licence to preach, but he would be punished.
He says Bishop Snow told him the process to begin his training for priesthood – something he decided he wanted to pursue – would be "slowed down".Jay was devastated. He went home feeling trapped. And after the complaint was dismissed, more messages were posted."Really horrific things, saying that I raped children, that I stole money, that I was a racist, a bully. She created fake accounts that were me saying really racist things and would then screenshot them and share those things," he says.Bishop Snow suggested to Jay that his allegations were not in keeping with Venessa's character. But Jay soon learned he wasn't the only person affected by Venessa's behaviour.
Complaints 'from 30 people'
A colleague who worked closely with Venessa, Kat Gibson, had been complaining about her for more than a year before the campaign against Jay began.Kat says Venessa was unpredictable and adversarial in the extreme. "I was just really scared when I was around her, thinking, 'what's she going to explode at me for this time?' with these explosive angry outbursts that I can't prevent."She adds that as the months went on, "around 30 people" from eight churches approached her to informally complain about Venessa's behaviour. She calls the issue an "open secret" but one that managers felt unable to tackle.In a joint statement, Kat's manager, Lusa Nsenga Ngoy - now a bishop in London - and Leicester Diocese said pastoral support and counselling were offered to those affected. The Church of England says Kat's complaints were treated with care and seriousness.
She was a lay preacher in Leicester, but Venessa soon gained increasing prominence on a national level.In 2022, several months into her stalking campaign against Jay Hulme, she was elected onto the Church of England's national assembly – the General Synod.Soon after, she was one of just a handful of people from Synod appointed to the Crown Nominations Commission, a panel that selects new bishops and archbishops. But all the while, she was sending countless sinister messages to Jay.
The online harassment from Venessa now included extreme pornographic content posted on his social media. Then she tweeted Jay's address.He went to the police a second time, but again felt no sense of urgency."There was a period where every night, I would wake up screaming because I dreamed that I was being murdered by Venessa. I had extra locks put on my door," Jay says.
Apologies and conviction
Though there appeared to be inaction, behind the scenes the Church was clearly starting to realise it had a problem on its hands.While Jay had been told in summer 2022 that a Leicester Diocese investigation found Venessa had been responsible for Jay's harassment, he was also told that the Bishop of Leicester decided quite the opposite.The BBC has now learned that shortly before that, the bishop did tell Venessa to step back from ministry because of "her behaviour", though it is not known what this refers to.He also later revoked her licence to preach, after what's described as "new evidence" coming to light. The diocese also suggested she go on leave.But none of these things were made public and did not stop the unrelenting stalking of Jay.
All of a sudden, in late 2022, Leicester Diocese announced Venessa would be leaving.It said she would "pursue other opportunities" and thanked her for the positive contributions she had made.Again, this appeared to have no impact on the hate-filled barrages coming Jay's way."I wrote my own will because…I felt that I'd been let down by the police, I'd been let down by the diocese and as far as I was concerned, this would continue until one of us died," he says.In desperation, in December 2022 he went to the police again.In March 2023, 21 months after the stalking campaign against Jay began (and eight months after the Bishop of Leicester told Jay he did not believe him) the police finally took action against Venessa."I get a phone call from Leicestershire Police [who] basically acknowledged that they made a mess of it. And very soon Venessa was arrested. Her devices were confiscated," says Jay.In a statement, Leicestershire Police acknowledged their initial response fell short of the standards expected, adding it continued "to develop its knowledge and training in relation to preventing and detecting stalking offences".By the end of 2023, Venessa had been charged. In May 2024 she pleaded guilty to stalking, involving serious distress or harm and was given an 18-month community order and banned from contacting Jay for a year.
After Venessa's conviction, Jay asked for a meeting with the Bishop of Leicester, Martyn Snow, who now apologised. "He did acknowledge in some way his own part in it and that he should have done better, and I agree," says Jay.Leicester Diocese told us it took legal advice and is confident it followed HR practice and due process in handling Jay's complaint. But wouldn't say why it did not sack Venessa for months after concluding she had sent the messages to Jay.A spokesperson for the Church of England says they are "appalled by the serious criminal behaviour that led to Venessa Pinto's conviction."Venessa's colleague Kat Gibson was recently made redundant from her post in Leicester. She says she's much better, physically and mentally, and is pleased to be out of Church of England employment.
'Everybody failed to protect me'
And what of Venessa Pinto? Having carried out her community service and abided by the restraining order, she is once again preaching – and has also done missionary work in Brazil.In a statement to the BBC she said one aspect of the court case in particular changed everything for her."Reading [Jay's] victim impact statement brought into sharp focus the pain I caused and strengthened my resolve to take responsibility and make amends," Venessa says."I acknowledge the seriousness of my past conduct and do not seek to diminish its impact. I have moved forward in my life and hope those affected in Leicester and elsewhere can find it in their hearts to allow space for healing and growth," she says.But while Venessa admits to the harassment she was convicted of, she denies some other allegations, including the frequent angry outbursts Kat and others reported. In fact she says accusations of aggressive behaviour were never formally raised with her in Leicester.Venessa says she was going through a difficult period and was struggling with her mental health during her time in Leicester.
Her targeting of Jay has left him scarred. He struggles to open his email for fear of what he'll find and he says his finances have been destroyed by years of sporadic work."I feel that everybody failed to protect me. I almost feel like I was naive that when the police failed to protect me, I thought the Church, which talks about safeguarding, [would]," says Jay."It fails because people are scared to do the right thing. In James, my favourite book of the Bible, there's a bit that says that anybody who knows the right thing and fails to do it, commits sin. And that's the problem at the heart of this Church."
A list of organisations in the UK offering support and information with some of the issues in this story is available at BBC Action Line