'Logout' star Babil Khan: 'I always wanted to be loved'
In an Instagram post this week, Babil Khan, son of the late Bollywood actor Irrfan Khan, explained that he'd be stepping away from a project by director Sai Rajesh. He said he's taking some time off. The move comes days after a tearful cryptic post on social media about the negativity in India's movie industry, which was deleted soon after.
In all the ensuing drama of him refuting claims that he'd been dissing the industry, actors either calling him silly or speaking up in his defence, it's his latest project, Logout, available for streaming on Zee5 Global that has slipped through the cracks.
The film, a deep dive into the lengths an influencer might go to for followers, has won plaudits for his acting prowess while sliding off audience radars due to all the real life drama.
The cyber security thriller was written by Biswapati Sarkar and directed by Amit Golani. In a conversation with Babil, we heard about why he likes auditions, how he deals with stage fright, and why he read the Logout script a hundred times.
Excerpts from the interview
In Logout, you play an influencer. Do you identify with the label?
I don't resonate with being an influencer, but I resonate with needing external validation. I resonate with the soul of the character. I don't resonate with his job.
So, what happens when you don't get the validation? How do you deal with negative feedback?
I believe that you can't think your way out of struggle and pain. It's important to surrender. Don't try to be anything, but what you are in that moment. If you're feeling anxiety, feel that anxiety. Rather than attaching your identity to that emotion, observe it from a distance. See the effects of it on you. I think that's what being alive is.
Do you take part in a lot of auditions?
Yes, I audition a lot because that is a good way to practice. People have this really strange idea that auditions are nerve wracking, but the moment you change your perception towards auditions, you realise they can be a great way to practice acting. That is where I go and understand acting. And every audition makes me a better actor.
Have you ever suffered from stage fright?
I have stage fright. But the truth is that no matter how scared you are, if you change the way you look at fear, the effect of fear changes. I remember recently, I was walking on for a ramp and right before the I went on stage, my knees were shivering. But I breathed. I just watched the fear. Instead of being overwhelmed by it, I chose my action towards that fear. I surrendered to that. And then the fear didn't affect my outcome.
How did you prepare for your role in Logout?
I prepped with my best friend and my acting mentor, Rachit Singh, a little bit and then I researched a lot of content. Other than that, I would say that the script is so intricately written and so well designed that I didn't have to do much. Rather than just study the text repeatedly, I just stuck with the script -- I read the script like 100 times.
Did you always want to be in the entertainment space?
I wanted to be loved. And I convinced myself that the only way that would happen is if I became famous… I wanted to be a star.
What are the lessons from your dad that you carry forward?
The only reason I know about surrender, about not labelling emotions good or bad, and that is nothing is right or wrong is because of him and the way he lived life. He never taught me anything about acting. He lived with me and he laughed with me, and that's how I learned.
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