Expert says there's a specific reason why toddlers love to say the word ‘no'

New York Post

5 hours ago

Most moms go above and beyond for their kids — but do the little tots actually appreciate it? Doesn't seem like it.
A Florida mom pulled off a toddler-level miracle — shifting meetings and racing the nap clock for a fun day out — only to get a surprisingly deadpan review from her tiny critic.
'Did you have fun?' Samantha Afran asked her 21-month-old son, Ezra, after their trip to the children's museum, as seen in a TikTok video uploaded last week.
Afran (@sammy.in.miami), a part-time content creator and work-from-home marketing pro, garnered attention on social media with the clip — with commenters pointing out that even pint-sized museumgoers have opinions.
In the attention-grabbing video, the mom walked with her child in her arms in a parking lot with white text over the clip reading, 'POV: You arranged your entire day to take your toddler to that place they've been begging to go.'
In her caption, Afran quipped, 'My bad for catering to your every whim.'
Viewers chimed in with similar stories of their own children in the comments section.
'Literally, my daughter,' one wrote as another added, 'Spent two hours at the children's museum and I asked my 4 year old this when we got back in the car. He said, 'Fun doing what?''
An additional user joked, 'His little 'no' even tho he KNOWS he had so much fun.' One other replied, 'This is my toddler about everything ' with laugh-cry emojis.
'My toddler says no to everything. 'did u have a good day?' no. do u love mama? no. do u like the chips ur currently eating?' 'no' ok bud
Before parents bond over having hard-to-please toddlers — there's a reason why toddlers love the two-letter word.
Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor and resilience expert, weighed in, telling Today.com that toddlers 'don't have the same sense of time that adults do.'
This means that 'they don't look backward — they're very existential, Zen-like little creatures.'
Commenters rallied with tales of their own tiny tyrants — all saying 'no' for no reason at all, it seemed.
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Rather than zen meaning 'calm,' the expert stressed that this means toddlers feel 'however they feel right that second.'
So ultimately, if you ask a toddler, 'Did you have fun?' in the parking lot — brace yourself for a response that makes zero sense.
The expert explained to the outlet that grown-ups — and even kids over 5 — can size up past events and give a verdict. Toddlers? Not a chance. But if they're hungry, hot or hyped, you'll know right now, the pro said.
As The Post previously reported, parenting may be personal — but a little expert advice never hurts, especially when you're trying to get your tiny tyrant to actually listen.
Don't ask your toddler to hit rewind — their memory's on mute. One minute it's a meltdown, the next it's magical. Talk about a case of kiddie whiplash.
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'Because I said so' is out — and experts say it never really worked to begin with. When it comes to getting kids to behave, a few word swaps can go a long way.
Child psychologist Reem Raouda dished on what phrases parents should ditch — and what to say instead if you want results without the meltdown.
''Because I said so' shuts down communication and teaches blind obedience,' she said in a recent CNBC article.
Instead, she encouraged parents to say, 'I know you don't like this decision. I'll explain, and then we're moving forward.'
'You're not debating or negotiating — you're modeling respectful leadership,' she went on. 'This phrasing acknowledges their feelings and reinforces that you're in charge in a calm, grounded way.'
Overall, she noted that no matter what a child tells you, when they feel heard, 'they calm down faster — and trust you more.'
This means that 'dismissing' them in any way or invalidating their feelings (however illogical they may seem) is a no-no.
Because at the end of the (very long, nap-delayed) day — parenting isn't about getting a 'yes,' it's about surviving the 'no' with your sanity intact.