180 days of Onijah

Express Tribune

23-02-2025

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Onijah.
Onijah who?
Onijah who needs land and 100k dollah.
A dramatic visit from an American lady to Karachi captured domestic and international attention for a good part of the new year. Onijah Andrews, 33, flew to Karachi in the hope of uniting with her long-distance lover – 19-year-old Nidal Memon.
While Onijah became a prominent face across all digital and news media, Nidal was the most wanted man in the case, vanishing without a trace upon her arrival.
Onijah did not take his rejection resignedly. She created a clamour in Pakistan that resounded all the way to her American homeland. She ain't goin' back without her husband, she protested. 'I'm Pakistani now, I'm a Muslim,' she declared to the public. And her plans to stay here or return to NEW YORK were nobody's business.
Suddenly the metropolis' influential philanthropists got involved to coax and shame young Nidal to take care of her as per her claim she and Nidal were already wedded by Nikkah.
What is this irresponsible joke you've made of an innocent foreign lady, the charity workers said in their public service messages to Nidal.
But then again who can blame our fugitive romantic hero? Turns out he was a victim of catfishing. Allegedly, the American lady of his dreams (and most likely his dreams of a green card) had posed as a blonde and beautiful white woman throughout their online romance. The young man must have awaited the days of his union with her and the start of their life in the promised land with much excitement. Imagine how his dreams shattered when the woman who showed up at his door calling him husband was…well, Onijah.
Let's put it this way, the leading lady of this torrid US-Pakistani affair has a personality that makes her looks redundant. Tiktok is awash with 'Onijah makeup tutorials' but you won't be using them until next Halloween. I hope we keep the memory of her alive till then.
In her unforgettable appearances on camera in various locations in Karachi, she always had her head tightly covered with a hijab, her forehead – whiter than the rest of her skin – had thin eyebrows painted on, bright lipstick on her full and prominent mouth that spouted meme material only. Respecting the social mores of the Islamic Republic, her outfits covered her from head to toe, either in shalwar kameez or a loud printed coord set. She was serving looks for sure. When samaritan Ramzan Chhippa held a joint press conference with her, she was giving a smoldering vibe that turned angry quickly ('Lissen! You talk too much!' she snapped at him as he carried on in Urdu). When a tiktoker treated her some biryani and asked her if Pakistani people are good, she was not just cute and demure, she was somewhat high ('Mmmm I love y'all,' she murmured).
Social media users who know nothing of Pakistani culture were impressed how the locals treated Onijah with only respect, not a shade of racism was detected in their interactions with her. But what of the elusive Nidal who got the shock of his life when he saw the African part of Onijah's American identity? Not only was she not white, she landed in Karachi almost penniless according to her claims. She told the press more than once that she did not have money to go back to the US. She also had a solution: the government should pay her.
Nidal seemed to have no answers or ticket fare and thought best to vanish into thin air. Since Onijah was not going anywhere without him, his family must've threatened that somebody had to leave to make the problem disappear.
In her visit to the metropolis, Onijah hit up the mandatory sightseeing spots: Jinnah International Airport, JPMC Jinnah Hospital and the parking lot of her lover's apartment building. (Her circuit of the city seemed to follow a true and gritty Lonely Planet Guide to Falling in Love in Karachi.)
In between, the stages of unrequited love – flying high, getting depressed and being low on haemoglobin and being in denial and stalking her ex – she also graced a handful of press conferences.
Onijah showed herself to be a natural public speaker. Clear and concise, entertaining no BS from the curious local mediapersons. Her demands were straight up non-negotiable. 'I want 2000 or mowe in my pockets by the end of the week,' was her starting bid.
Her plight included demands of money upto 100k usd, land, a ticket back to the US and fixing the abysmal infrastructure and public transport in the city. 'It's ridiculous out here,' she observed with acumen.
As residents, who among us has not had these demands? Can we disagree with her opinion about the state of Karachi? In a matter of months (she had been here since October last year), who can say this foreigner didn't assimilate the quintessential life of a Karachiite.
What Onijah lacked in looks she made up for in sass and aplomb.
Alone she faced the curious press of a foreign country and controlled the narrative she wanted to put out there. Despite a language barrier, as she did nor speak Urdu and the local reporters are not at all fluent in English, she aired her demands clearly and bluntly. What she didnt want to discuss, she kept to herself no matter how reporters pressed for information. "It's nonna yo business," she repeated her favourite phrase. "It's private. Now go home," she said simply. (Meme creators used these as pro tips on replying to nosy aunties who ask you when you will get married or have kids.)
When she camped at Nidal's Garden West apartment complex, she resolved to not move until he met her. That was a 30-hour wait until she was cleared out. She also tried to stay in another building in the area to continue her stakeout but the administration threw her out.
Once out on the streets, she was at the airport again, tiktokers and journos her constant patrons. She was taken into police custody, she made a cop friend Shabana. She was taken to JPMC to get her psych evaluation and sonogram. She introduced her doctors and police custodians as her entourage. She refused to go through immigration to return to the US. It didn't matter to Onijah where she was, she always called the shots.
Karachiites were kind to her and heard her out. She helped the tourist ministry more than any other gora influencer employed by the past two governments. The hospitality and care she received was there for all to see and won the hearts of all Americans who followed the unfolding story with amusement.
Onijah has finally returned home to her family now. But she has left a vacuum in the hearts of the Instagrammers and tiktokers who followed her daily. She lost Nidal but she found a place in the hearts of the residents of Karachi. Her eventful stay also encouraged many of her fellow Americans to visit Pakistan, a country where anything goes.