Ask Wirecutter: Help Me Quiet Down My Neighbors Without Starting a Feud!
Welcome to Ask Wirecutter, where deputy editor Annemarie Conte helps you figure out how to make the most of your stuff in real life. If you have a shopping conundrum for our advice columnist, submit it using this form.
Dear Wirecutter,
My neighbors are kind of the worst. They're loud, regularly light a fire pit, and play music. Nice people in general, but just inconsiderate. Now that it's getting warmer out and they are outside more, it feels omnipresent. I have brought this up to them a few times, and it's not getting better. I deserve to enjoy my home just as much as they do. What can I do to help the situation?
T.C.C.
Dear T.C.C.,
I always know that something has struck a nerve when, after I drop the question in our Wirecutter Slack, our staff absolutely blows up the thread with comments. This question is running 83-responses-deep, and like most internet chats, there are a few gems of actual advice mixed in with the snark.
As with many scenarios, people will either see themselves in you ('Can I have a moment of peace, please?') or in your neighbors ('I'm allowed to have a good time on my own property').
I have been on both sides of this situation. I'm sure the neighbors who endured me and my friends during our senior year of college were thrilled when we moved out of their otherwise-quiet neighborhood. Karma always comes around, so of course I've lived adjacent to some college students whose theme parties were pretty epic.
We're not talking about the occasional shindig here, however. What you're describing is a regular, robust hang, which might be charming at first. But, depending on the amount of audible merriment it produces, it can become a burden for even the most vivacious of extroverts. On top of that, you've complained about their perpetual fire pit, which produces smoke, ash, and a woodsy aroma.
I think the situation requires a bit of awareness on both sides. There are things you and your neighbors can both do to prevent this from blowing up into a Hatfield-McCoy–style situation (for anyone unfamiliar, this was a famous Civil War–era feud, and it is now, apparently, a tourist attraction).
But while concessions can be made on both sides, the only person you can really control is yourself.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
38 minutes ago
- Yahoo
How a Springfield agency's mission evolved since its founding after the Civil War
SPRINGFIELD – As a young child, Mary Jo McDonald spent years in foster care and was on the list to be adopted by a new family. That all changed when her troubled mother found the strength to change. McDonald credits her reunification with her mother when she was 7 to help provided years ago by a social service agency, Helix Human Resources. The agency cared for her and gave her mother support to overcome traumas — and become a good parent. Helix, formed just after the Civil War, is marking 160 years of helping countless families as the city's oldest nonprofit agency and one of the oldest social service organizations statewide. McDonald, now 50 and a successful real estate agent, said her mother is a lovely woman who turned to alcohol after facing trauma after immigrating to the United States from Ireland at the age of 18. New to the country, her mother was raped, got pregnant and gave up that child for adoption. Then a son, McDonald's younger brother, died of crib death. Her mother tried to forget the hurt by drinking and could not care for her only remaining child. McDonald was placed in foster care through Helix. It was McDonald's foster mother who started the process that changed her family. She alerted McDonald's mother that her child was on track to be adopted, knowing that was not what she wanted. While McDonald's mom had tried rehab before, this time, with help from Helix, it was a success. She went to rehab, got counseling and was given job training to become a certified nursing assistant. The agency helped her find a job and an apartment. Mother and daughter were able to reunite. 'My mom has not drunk since I was 7,' said McDonald, who continues to volunteer with Helix. 'I found out if you are willing to accept the help, the help is there.' In 160 years, Helix has changed names twice and added and subtracted services over the decades but it's mission has never changed, said Mark Paglia, chief executive officer. 'We provide a variety of services for children and family who have experienced some level of trauma in their lives,' said Paglia who had headed up the agency for about 18 months. The Springfield agency now offers at least 14 programs, with the largest number of clients, more than 1,000, served through outpatient programs such as the Holyoke Family Wellness Center. It provides mental health treatment at its clinic on Lower Westfield Road to anyone who asks. 'We have shifted a lot over the years,' Paglia said. 'In the 50s, 60s, 70s, there were a lot of institutional type services but that has changed over the last 20 years to programs in less-restrictive environments.' Today, the agency only has 15 people living in a residential setting. It offers help to families who call with a need. It also connects to clients though referrals from agencies and schools, Paglia said. The Holyoke Wellness Center serves some of the largest number of people and is designed to be accessible for anyone in need of help, he said. 'One call or email to our clinic through our admission coordinator will connect people with assessment and clinicians,' Paglia said. One of its biggest programs is a family assessment and mentoring service. That is an individualized program that helps members succeed in the community and at home to improve their lives, Paglia said. It also works with school departments, which refer children with social-emotional problems, behavioral challenges or learning disabilities that they cannot educate in a regular classroom to one of several schools the program runs. Helix staff also partner with the state Department of Children and Families, offering programs similar to the one McDonald went through decades ago to help children in foster care and families in crisis turn their lives around so they can reunite, Paglia said. That program also follows parents after their children return home to ensure the family remains stable and gets any additional help needed, he said. When Helix employees realized they were coming up on the 160th anniversary, staff started doing research and realized the agency was started to help Civil War widows, many of whom came to Springfield to settle with their children, Paglia said. 'It was a difficult time, nationally over 600,000 people were killed and many were husbands and fathers,' Paglia said. 'Women from different churches came together and said, 'How can we help?'' he said. The Springfield Home for Friendless Women and Children was formed. Its first president was Rachel Capem Merriam, of Merriam-Webster dictionary fame, he said. The agency evolved and people started calling it the Children's Study Home. It officially changed its name to that in 2001. That stuck until 2021, when staff, the board of trustees and the community came together and decided to change it to Helix Human Services. 'They liked the idea that the name represents resilience,' he said. When clients are in crisis, they lack hope. But Helix counselors work to assure them it is just a moment in their lives and they can go forward, Paglia said. 'We feel the trauma the children experience does not define who they are,' he said. 'We believe children can lead happy, healthy lives.' A lot of children the agency helps have faced abuse, including sexual abuse and neglect. Some have moved from foster care placement to placement. Others suffer from mental health illnesses, he said. Helix's primary campus is located on Sherman Street in Springfield, where it runs residential programs for boys aged 5 and 11. Its SHARP program specializes in assisting students who are in the LGBTQ+ community. It also operates the Mill Pond schools in Springfield and Richmond. The schools are designed for students from kindergarten through age 22 who have behavioral or social-emotional problems or learning disabilities that make it difficult for them to achieve in a regular public school setting. It offers additional programs in the Cape Cod area, Paglia said. The SHARP program operates to help youth in the LGBTQ+ community who have faced trauma live healthy, happy and independent lives as they move into adulthood. 'We work to provide counseling for our kids to build self-acceptance in the face of a community where they are typically not accepted,' he said. The program is mainly for older teenagers and includes staff who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. They run support groups, provide counseling and teach clients skills to live independently. 'In many ways we lead from behind,' Paglia said. 'We try to empower them and help them identify who they want to be.' Paglia calls himself 'the new guy,' having led the agency for less than two years. But he said he is proud of the work the 148-person staff does and is grateful to a strong board of directors and business supporters. One of the biggest concerns today is the threat federal funding cuts. Paglia said those cuts impact the program directly as well as indirectly, through state and school reduction in the funding that helps pay for children's tuition and therapy. But Paglia said Helix has survived many crises and changes over its 160 years. He feels it will weather current turmoil. 'I think our strength is in our board, who have, over the past 10 to 15 years, led Helix through some challenging times,' he said. Read the original article on MassLive.
Yahoo
a day ago
- Yahoo
Caddo Parish recognizes 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army
CADDO PARISH, La. (KTAL/KMSS) – Caddo Parish Commissioners honored the 250th Anniversary of the United States Army. Commissioner and Vietnam veteran Ken Epperson of District 12 read a special proclamation recognizing the upcoming anniversary and reviewing its history. He explained that on June 14, 1775, General George Washington and the Second Continental Congress established the Continental Army, marking the birth of the United States Army and laying the foundation for the nation's military defense. LSA Deputy of the Year awarded to Caddo Parish Sheriff's deputy 'With the primary objective of defending the Constitution of the United States of America. Not a king, not a monarchy, not an individual. So I want us all to remember that,' Epperson said. Commissioner Epperson also read all the names of current Caddo Parish employees who served. He then listed the many inventions and breakthroughs made by the U.S. Army over the past 250 years, from roads and bridges built by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers after the Revolution to medical advancements made during the Civil War to the invention of mosquito repellent, the EpiPen, and Ray-Ban sunglasses. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
CBS News
2 days ago
- CBS News
Detroit Juneteenth celebration highlights Camp Ward's historic role in Civil War
June 19, 2025, will mark the 160th anniversary of Juneteenth. The holiday commemorates the emancipation of enslaved black people in Galveston, Texas. Celebrations have already started in Detroit. Campau Park on the city's east used to be Camp Ward, where the 102nd United States Colored Troops trained during the Civil War over 150 years ago. "We represent the only Black regiment from Michigan that fought in the Civil War," Guyler Turner, president and corporal of 102nd U.S. Colored Troop Company B, said. A group of Civil War reenactors set up a tent with help from a local Boy Scout troop on Saturday. Their clothing and oxtail soup demonstrated what it was like for the nearly 900 volunteers who were fighting for something more. "It was a large community of free Blacks here, and also of runaway Blacks who wanted to do something to really earn their own freedom," Sharon Elizabeth Sexton, chair of the Camp Ward Juneteenth Celebration, said. After the Civil War, the site became a legendary Black neighborhood. "At the end of the war, they were given this land to build their homes, and this is where 'Black Bottom' started and grew and grew," Eleanor Anderson, the "Queen of Black Bottom," said. Anderson is also the founder of this event. "I would tell everybody and anybody that we should have our own Juneteenth and not wait for somebody to do it for us," Anderson said. She says the goal is to one day get the area designated as a national historic landmark. "Basically, we want people to know that we are part of history," Sexton said. And we should never forget the past. "Those people laid the foundation for us to be here today. And so that is very important for us to be able to be storytellers, to tell that story, so each generation will never forget where we came from," Turner said.
