The sex parties coming to a stately home near you
The affluent south London borough of Dulwich is known for many things. It has a renowned art gallery, prestigious private schools and an idyllic park. Most people don't associate it with 'wax play', naked fire shows and parties stocked with 2,000 condoms. But that's exactly what guests got at Belair House, Dulwich, in April, when it was hired by the 'naughty events' company Heaven Circle.
Not surprisingly, residents were less than impressed to learn that their local Georgian manor house, just a six-minute walk from Dulwich College, was being hired out for sex parties. The East Dulwich Forum, an online message board, was brimming with disgust and outrage and complaints were lodged with the local council.
'I've noticed these sex events happening in the last few months at a place that's supposed to be a restaurant and venue,' said one resident called Michelle. 'I was planning my wedding there and was appalled by the setup for those events. When I discovered what was going on, I was disgusted by how they were using the same rooms as 'playrooms' where families are supposed to eat. The hygiene and safety concerns are just unacceptable. They're destroying a sacred, Grade II listed building, and it's just not right. The owners need to be held accountable for their actions. It's time for us to stand up and protect our heritage and ensure that these spaces are used appropriately, especially when they should be serving families and the community.'
But other locals were more sanguine. 'I've been to some kids' parties at Belair House and also for brunch in the restaurant. It is a lovely venue but it's looking shabby and needs some serious renovation,' wrote Nicola, a resident of 10 years' standing. 'I am surprised that it's being used for high-end swinging parties, and I do think it would be better used as a community space which everyone can enjoy. But I don't blame the owners for needing to fund the upkeep of a building like that.'
Dating back to 1785, Belair House is described by its owners as a 'timeless function space that works perfectly for any occasion'. It has been used as a film set and for weddings and parties. To hire the venue for the evening on a weekend costs £7,000. Belair House didn't respond to our request for a comment.
Sage Waterhouse has worked for Heaven Circle since September 2024, and says the party it held at Belair House was 'her favourite so far'. The invitation on the company's Instagram promised '500 candles, 500 roses, 1 stunning mansion from the 1700s, Two DJs, THE BIG BED, 3 playrooms, 5 performers, 1 shibari artist, 1 Domme, 2,000 condoms and 60 toys.'
'It was a wonderful venue,' she says. 'Normally our parties are held in more open-plan spaces, but this was like a townhouse, so it felt a lot more intimate and each room had a very different energy. We had naked fire shows, DJs and wax play. It was my first time modelling shibaru [the Japanese art of knot tying] and so that was very special for me.'
Waterhouse says that finding venues to agree to let them host their parties is 'very difficult'. 'There are certain presumptions about the swinger lifestyle that are very misunderstood and negative, and so often when we approach a venue we'll just get a flat no,' she says. 'But the staff at Belair House were lovely and the owners of the property have nothing against us.'
Heaven Circle brings all its own equipment to a venue and takes it away when a party is over. Waterhouse says that for this event – named 'Knights of St Francis' – it brought in eight single mattresses and erotic artwork.
'I understand there was a slight issue with the public and concerns about it being near schools or the venue being used for kids' parties,' she says, 'but I think it's such a shame that we face this kind of judgment.'
Heaven Circle has been running since 2014, and prides itself on its exclusivity. Waterhouse explains that partygoers must apply to become a member. 'We have 12 members of staff who we call 'the masons', who verify and approve every [application] that gets sent in,' she says. 'Prices for tickets vary depending on the event and whether you're a guy, a girl or a couple, but they're typically around £80. The range of people we get is extraordinary.'
Waterhouse says that the parties are funded by ticket sales and donations from wealthy individuals.
'Swinging and sex parties have definitely evolved in recent years and become more mainstream, appealing to a different kind of clientele as a result,' says Chris Haywood, a reader in critical masculinity studies at the University of Newcastle. 'The type of person who would go to a party in a mansion tends to be very different from the type who would be comfortable seeking out a traditional sex club. We're seeing more millennial and Gen Z couples, more middle-class women.'
Haywood has been researching the UK swinging scene since 2018 and says that the average age for a swinger is 45, and 70 per cent of female swingers identify as straight but are 'bi-curious'.
'For many people, sex parties have shaken off their seedy image, and we're seeing black-tie balls in stately-home-type venues becoming more popular. Social media and the ability to hear about parties online has also opened up the scene in a new way.'
Heaven Circle claims to have 114,000 members and Waterhouse says it will 'most likely' hold another party at Belair House. 'We've also thrown a party in a castle in Scotland and we're looking at venues in Surrey and Hertfordshire, too,' she says. 'My best party was a 'sorority party', just for women, where I arranged a nude ballerina and a human fruit table.'
Meanwhile, Belair House is back to hosting more traditional events, including a Tesla test-drive event, a 40th birthday and lavish white weddings. Although, in light of the Heaven Circle bash, even the most wholesome occasions take on a new meaning. Anyone fancy tickets to the 'Sunday jazz and roast'?
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