'My dad has a gambling addiction, but my mother has to work to pay off his debts' — 23 y/o daughter reveals her mental struggles

Independent Singapore

21-04-2025

SINGAPORE: In a raw and emotional post, a 23-year-old woman took to social media on Monday (Apr 21) to reveal how her father's gambling addiction has deeply fractured her home life. She alleged that her 64-year-old father becomes violent and verbally abusive, while her mother, rather than confronting the issue, enables his behaviour by working to pay off his debts and keeping his addiction hidden from relatives.
'My dad has a gambling addiction, and it's really taking a toll on my mental health,' the post read. 'He is into horse betting and will watch races around the clock (he used to work as a private hirer but has since reduced his shifts significantly/sometimes none at all within a week). I know money is involved as he would always make calls out or receive incoming calls where he verbally bets the amount of money.'
Despite trying to talk to him about his vice, the young woman shared that such efforts are to no avail. 'Unfortunately for me, that amounted to suicide threats and the usual 'I'm going to die soon, I can do whatever I want',' she said, adding that he has anger management issues as well as abusive or violent tendencies when he is mad. 'He has broken objects around the house before, but never really hit us, I guess,' she admitted. 'I don't see myself getting through to him.'
To make matters worse, she divulged that her mother exhibits enabler qualities, such as covering for her father specifically by working to pay off what he owes, making excuses for him, and even keeping his gambling problems from relatives. 'My mum claims to find him pitiful,' she added.
On the daughter's part, she shared that the dynamics at home have made her repulsive to the thought of coming home at the end of the day. 'I would dread going home every day, coming back to him hunched in front of his laptop, chain smoking/vaping, with his Facebook/douyin videos on max volume,' she said.
A handful of online users identified with the post and shared insights with the writer. While the negative effects of gambling came up as a common topic in the comments, another thing some people zeroed in on was how the woman's mother was enabling her father's gambling addiction.
'Your mom is the enabler, which is the only reason why he has been kept from falling to true rock bottom,' said one. 'The only way for a gambling addict to get help is if they see themselves as the problem, but unfortunately, people like your father have convinced themselves that they aren't the problem, and in fact, this is how he self-harms, whether he realises it. My only advice is that all you can do is mitigate damage and respond accordingly.'
A handful of others encouraged the writer to prioritise her own well-being.
According to rehab service provider The Cabin, gambling addiction can place an especially heavy toll on family relationships, often leading to physical and mental health problems, financial instability, and emotional distress.
The stress caused by gambling problems can put a strain on members of a family, specifically targeting their mental health. From depression to anxiety, such strains can also cause other issues, such as poor sleep and even bowel disorders. Furthermore, gambling can put a significant strain on a family's finances.
See also: 4-member household, under $5K income: Singaporean seeks financial advice for this broken family
Featured image by Depositphotos/Chai2523 (for illustration purposes only)