Witness describes viral moment ‘d***head' trapped in Melbourne bottle shop

News.com.au

4 hours ago

The still image of a bungled, broad-daylight shoplifting attempt in Melbourne is like a renaissance painting.
I mean, just look at this thing:
In the top of frame you have the would-be thief staring hopelessly at an automatic door sensor with a 12-pack of Jack Daniels cans in his hands.
To the left, his accomplice is fixated on his phone, calculating exactly how pear-shaped this thing has gone in his peripheral vision.
A witness in the centre of the picture, trying to purchase a single stubby after knock-off, watches on in disbelief at what might be the most awkward and pathetic attempt at pilfering ever caught on film.
And to the bottom right is the protagonist — the central figure who drives the entire visual narrative with his left index finger holding power over everyone.
No notes. It is perfect.
The scene, which played out southeast of Melbourne at The Bottle-O store in Wantirna, has resurfaced online in viral videos recently, despite the fact that it is three years old.
You can watch the whole painful scene below if you are into second-hand embarrassment and cringing.
Three years after the footage first emerged, news.com.au has tracked down the one and only in-person witness to the incident.
The man in the black shirt, shorts and boots — whose solitary beer is an admirable example of moderation — is Darren.
He says he stopped by that store almost every night for one beer back in 2022. On August 11 at 5.05pm he was going about his daily business.
'I used to go there every night after work to grab beers,' he said. 'On that night, I put my beer on the counter and two young blokes were standing behind me.
'One of them reached out and grabbed the drinks and tried to make a run for it. The guy behind the counter was that quick with the button.
'I thought to myself, 'You d***head, you're gone'. I sort of chuckled to myself. It was a comedy.'
The clerk, who sold the store to new owners in 2024 and could not be tracked down for comment, can be seen in the video with his finger on the automatic door remote long before the bumbling thief makes his move.
The video has no audio of the interaction, but Darren says the clerk told the young man 'put that back, put that back'.
'I said, 'Can I get out?' I think he was just telling them off.'
Darren spoke to the owner of the Wantirna Mall bottle shop a few days later about the incident and what he told him was a shock.
'He said he gets it every day.'
Online, the video has been shared 49,000 times after it was reposted in mid-May.
'The way his friend didn't even look up,' wrote one person.
'The way he had to stand there and simmer in his embarrassment. Gold,' wrote another.
News.com.au reached out to Australian Liquor Marketers, which owns The Bottle-O brand, in an attempt to speak with our moral champion behind the counter about dishing out daily lessons to youths.
They did not respond.
The Crime Statistics Agency, which curates data about offences carried out in Victoria each year, has some staggering insights.
It shows the number of theft offences recorded in Victoria in the year ending March 2025 was 240,210.
That's a lot, but it's skyrocketing compared to previous years. The 240,000-odd recorded thefts, which does not take into account theft that was not reported, is the highest ever recorded.
It is 60,000 more than in 2024 and 85,000 more than 2023.
Thefts in 2022 were 139,485. Would've been a lot higher if old mate from Wantirna Bottle-O wasn't holding down the fort.