Jon Stewart to Los Angeles: ‘Is Your City Ever Not on Fire?'
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Fire and I.C.E.
Things have been tense for days in Los Angeles, where President Trump deployed the military in response to protests against immigration raids.
Jon Stewart called the situation 'the very predictable result of a liberal city, reliant on an immigrant population, colliding with a heavy-handed MAGA migrant-trawling operation looking to hit its quota of brown Pokémen. Gotta catch 'em all!'
'Is it too much to ask to have one weekend where I don't have to Google 'when count as martial law'?' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'It's an explosive situation, on the cusp of federalism vs. states' rights, border control vs. due process, terrifyingly militarized sweeps vs. hard-working people in local communities, the United States Marines vs. the Postmates guy who brought you an egg sandwich.' — JON STEWART
'Trump's actions are shocking because this troop deployment is in defiance of the California government. Normally, the governor is in charge of the National Guard, and in Los Angeles, local and state authorities had not sought help in dealing with the protests. So nobody asked for this, and it's only going to make things worse. And in Los Angeles, there's a word for that: 'Transformers: Rise of the Beasts.'' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'There has been some pelting of police and I.C.E. agents with rocks and garbage. For instance, people began throwing objects at law enforcement in a protest that started when demonstrators took over the 101, though locals were quick to point out they should've taken over the 405 to the 5, saved at least 10 minutes on the road to fascism.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'Also, if you're against property damage and protesters flying un-American flags, you guys would've hated Jan. 6.' — SETH MEYERS
'And quick question for those of you who live in that area: Is your city ever not on fire? Whether you win a basketball championship, a World Series championship, whether you have an exploding piñata gender reveal gone wrong — congratulations, it's a boy and an evacuation! — or you're just protesting the Trump administration's expanded deportation raids, L.A. continues to be our most flammable city.' — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (The Long Breakup Edition)
'Everybody's still talking about Trump's feud with Elon Musk, and apparently, Trump is considering getting rid of the Tesla that he bought a few months ago — although that's the same feeling every Tesla owner has.' — JIMMY FALLON
'Giving up the car makes sense. I mean, after a breakup, you always get rid of things that remind you of your ex.' — JIMMY FALLON
'I wouldn't worry. The dude has plenty of breakups. You know his policy — don't cry because it's over, frown because it happened.' — SETH MEYERS
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