Football's equivalent of the Hobbits' return to the Shire

The Guardian

2 days ago

Like The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, just when you think the football season has finally been wrapped up and you're waiting for the closing credits to roll, along comes another clatter of matches to leave you in serious doubt that this hamster wheel of ours will ever stop turning. In recent weeks the climactic (and often anticlimactic) battles have been fought, the subsequent coronations have been staged and now in what seems like the perfect time for a nice refreshing break in which to recuperate, recalibrate and prepare for the nonsense that is the Club World Cup, Football Daily finds itself forced to contend with the football equivalent of the Hobbits' return to the Shire that is the latest international break. Oh to be Frodo, sailing off into the unknown of the Undying Lands.
While Football Daily likes to think it has its finger firmly placed on the football pulse, it behoves us to admit that we'd completely forgotten that England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland are all due to play this weekend. And it is a good thing the respective governing bodies of all five teams were not similarly absent-minded for fear they might have been forced to spend the coming days scouring the bars and beaches of Ibiza trying to find players willing to represent their national sides in their imminent double-headers. Truth be told, a quick trawl of any random beach in the UK would probably yield enough decent English players to see off Andorra in Saturday's World Cup qualifier but that hasn't stopped Thomas Tuchel's latest squad selection for that game and a subsequent friendly against Senegal being taken very seriously indeed. Predictably overwrought has been some of the wailing and handwringing over various inclusions and omissions from a 26-man group that is ostensibly in Barcelona to take on a ski resort.
In Liechtenstein, Wales host similarly exalted opposition in the first game of their qualifying double-header that concludes with a trip to Belgium, but you can be sure Craig Bellamy will not be taking the minnows lightly. Famously intolerant of international teammates who didn't pull their weight during his time as a player repeatedly failing to qualify for major tournaments – or simply colleagues refusing to sing – Bellamy has brought the intensity of 10,000 TV dramas starring Stephen Graham to his role as head coach. 'From his first meeting you could tell how much he wanted to achieve here – big things – and straight away he wanted to drill things into us,' trembled Swansea's Ben Cabango of his gaffer, who has yet to taste defeat as Wales boss. 'I feel like he's not laid off that one bit. We're not here for a large amount of time so it's quite intense when we are here.'
Proceedings are likely to be considerably less intense in the other camps, with only friendlies looming in the short-term for all three nations. The big news from an Ireland camp preparing for summer kickabouts with Senegal and Luxembourg has been the tardy arrival of Caoimhin Kelleher due to him having to cough for the doctor at Brentford, while Northern Ireland have recalled Kelleher's former teammate Conor Bradley for their games against Denmark and Iceland, after he missed the last international break through knack. And finally, having just checked to see if Steve Clarke is still the manager of Scotland, we can reveal that he very much is and will be hoping his side can avoid the potential embarrassment that comes hand in hand with friendlies against Iceland and Liechtenstein, before an eminently winnable qualifying campaign that kicks off in September. Now you know as much as we do, so make like Frodo and go away.
Join a mystery guest from 8pm BST for hot Nations League semi-final updates from Germany 2-1 Portugal.
'We had a backpack with snacks and we played around on our phones to kill time. The lights were on all the time and the sitting position was uncomfortable, so sleeping was almost impossible. That made it physically and mentally difficult' – Neal Remmerie explains how he, along with fellow Belgian TikToker Senne Haverbeke, spent 27 hours in an Allianz Arena bog before watching the Bigger Cup final for free. 'We looked carefully at which security guard was paying the least attention,' whooped Remmerie. 'While on the phone and with food in our hands, we just walked on, and suddenly we were inside.'
I've just read your recent article regarding the York City owner's push for three promotion places from the National League to League Two (yesterday's Football Daily). I wanted to write in full support of her position – and to thank you for highlighting this vital issue. As a supporter of Dorking Wanderers, a club that finished sixth this past season and fell short in the playoffs, I can say with confidence that many clubs and fans across the National League share her view. The idea that a team finishing sixth or seventh – often 15 to 20 points behind second or third place – can leapfrog into the Football League while stronger teams miss out is increasingly hard to justify. You questioned whether York's owner would feel the same if her club finished seventh. I genuinely believe she would, as would many other club owners, including the management at Dorking. This isn't just about individual clubs – it's about fairness, progress, and ensuring that ambition is matched by opportunity. The National League has become increasingly professional and competitive, and its clubs deserve a pathway that reflects that. I hope the EFL takes note of this growing movement. Thank you again for covering this important topic – and please keep the conversation going' – Stephen Parrott.
It's probably worth pointing out that the 3UP campaign is supported by all 72 clubs in the National League, including the North and South leagues, of which my team, South Shields, is part, although we certainly weren't troubling the playoff contenders this season just gone' – Phil Gibson.
I'm sure I will be one of 1,057 pedants to point out that in the 2021-22 National League North season, Brackley Town finished second on 87 points, seven points ahead of the side that finished third and a whole 21 points ahead of the team that actually ended up being promoted through the playoffs. The name of the side in question … York City' – Andy Riddell (and others).
Forget 3UP (yesterday's Football Daily), I've long thought 8UP to be the answer. A straight eight up and down across all divisions. It would take real commitment to spend 10 years in the same tier. Loads of different teams to play each year and different grounds to visit. You'd have an interest in matches through to the end of the season. And it would level the financial playing field nicely with so many teams yo-yoing. What's not to like?' – Dave Lambley.
If you do have any, please send letters to [e-mail]. Today's winner of our prizeless letter o' the day is … Dave Lambley. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
Daniel Melamud has curated a collection of lovely images taken by some of the most respected snappers in the game. Do check out this selection.
Michael Carrick has been hailed as part of a new breed of astute young manager almost as long as his tenure as Middlesbrough manager, which has ended after the best part of three years in the job (a lengthy spell by Championship standards). Boro announced Carrick's passage through the door marked Do One after a poor run-in that resulted in a 10th-placed finish. Carrick took Boro to fourth place and the playoffs in 2023, where they were beaten in the semis by Coventry, but they dropped back to eighth a year later. Failure to improve on that in the past 12 months means Carrick joins a number of Noughties England luminaries facing tricky times in management. He is followed out of the Riverside by his assistants Jonathan Woodgate (another Noughties England mainstay) and Graeme Carrick. 'We'd like to thank Michael, Jonathan, and Graeme for all their hard work and unwavering commitment. We wish them all the very best for the future,' blah-blahed a club statement as Boro seek a Premier League place for the first time since 2017.
Millie Bright will not play for the Lionesses at Euro 2025. The defender has withdrawn from possible selection as 'it is the right thing for my health and my future'. Bright's withdrawal follows the international retirements of Mary Earps and Fran Kirby, the latter of whom confirmed her news after England's 2-1 Nations League defeat in Spain. Boss Sarina Wiegman is at least confident that Lauren James will be fit for the tournament.
Elsewhere in the WNL, Scotland drew 1-1 in the Netherlands, but Wales got a 4-1 hiding at home against Italy. 'The first half felt like a punch in the face,' sighed manager Rhian Wilkinson. 'Let's be clear, that was not a performance that I expect from this team.'
Lucas Paquetá's spot-fixing trial has ended but West Ham have been left unhappy at having to wait up to eight weeks for a verdict.
Stop us if you think that you've heard this one before … Manchester City are going on a spending jag. The first man in? Tijjani Reijnders of Milan, the Dutch attacking midfielder costing an agreed fee of €55m. Meanwhile, following Kevin De Bruyne's departure comes news that Scott Carson, the reserve goalie who has played 108 minutes and won 11 trophies, could also be doing one.
Andrée Jeglertz, the Swede who will lead Denmark at Euro 2025, is in line for the Manchester City Women's top job.
Sheffield United are to be the lucky losers after Blackburn's withdrawal and remain in WSL 2 next season.
Liverpool want Milos Kerkez. Bournemouth want £45m.
Will Crystal Palace escape the bind that might deny the Eagles a first proper European tilt next season? John Textor, largest shareholder but also owner of Lyon, is trying to flog his shares in Palace to ease passage into Bigger Vase. 'All of the UK knows that I don't have decisive influence over Palace,' he roared.
Liam Manning has done one from Bristol City to take over at Norwich.
And Rio Ferdinand thinks that Manchester United's failings have made him a laughing stock. 'It's sad, man. I'm on TV, I've got to talk about this stuff. Everyone can take the mick out of me,' he wailed. 'I'm a meme sometimes on social media [disgraces] because of my team. So it's hard, man, I'm doing punditry in the worst possible time in Manchester through this terrible moment.'
Thomas Müller, Patrik Schick, Vincent Kompany and Leipzig's 'scumbag football': all part of Andy Brassell's review of the German season.
Jacob Steinberg picks over why Jadon Sancho is back at Manchester United, after the end of his sale and return move to Chelsea. What next?
Ben McAleer looks at the Premier League players who could possibly to with moves to reboot their careers.
Get these bookmarked if you haven't already: our men's and women's summer transfer interactives.
And this week's Knowledge investigates British players conquering Europe's top five leagues, late-career goalscoring centurions and huge gaps between league titles, among much else.
Winding the clock back to 4 June 1997: Paul Scholes, 22, beams after scoring his first England goal, in only his second senior international, as Italy are beaten in Nantes. Scholes also laid on the other for his strike partner that evening, Ian Wright, as England ended up winning Le Tournoi, the warm-up event for the 1998 World Cup. Scholes has described his England career as an overall disappointment, but their performances in France that summer got everyone back home excited. Wright, knacked that following season, missed the World Cup. Only Mick Channon played more times for England without being selected for a World Cup or European Championships squad. These days, Scholes and Wright occasionally find themselves still paired up, reminiscing across Gary Neville's kitchen island on that show you see all over social media disgraces.