Asking Eric: After husband gets sober, wife gets stuck in a funk
Dear Eric: I am a married man in my 60s and a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober for eight months. Prior to rehab I put my wonderful wife through hell for years. Not physically, but emotionally with my constant drunkenness. I am now in a great place, feeling and looking as good as ever, engaged and productive. Unfortunately, my wife is stuck in a funk. She is happy for me, but it hasn't resulted in her own happiness. I have suggested therapy and Al-Anon and she agrees but doesn't act on it. I am encouraging her but I am also on eggshells because I caused the problem in the first place and don't want to push too hard. What to do?
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New York Times
28 minutes ago
- New York Times
The Surprising Joy of Lego's $5 Mini Builds
Early on the morning of my 34th birthday, I found myself at Target in search of shampoo to get through a weeklong trip visiting a friend. There I was, standing in the checkout line, when something small caught my eye. Without hesitation, I grabbed it. It was a $5 Lego Mini Build of a Star Wars TIE Interceptor. This was no ordinary impulse purchase. It was a bell tolling me back to a long string of elementary school birthdays, when Lego sets always made their way into my hands — an occupational hazard of having two grandfathers who were engineers. I couldn't pinpoint the last time I'd bought myself a Lego set, but the year certainly began with 19. As soon as I got back, I spilled the mere 48 pieces of the TIE Interceptor set across the desk in my friend's guest room. Hour by hour, I'd return to it over the course of the day, snapping together a few more pieces, following one more half step in the instruction booklet, until finally, just before midnight, the build sat completed in the palm of my hand. These small sets — known in the Lego community as polybags — have since become a checkout-aisle purchase on every Target trip I make. For the low price of $5, I can briefly go back in time and enter the meditative trance of clicking bricks. Before that fateful Target run, I hadn't consciously decided to stop buying Lego. It was a thing that just kind of happened. First, people stopped buying sets for me, assuming I'd grown out of them. Then I stopped spending what little money I managed to make as a kid on Lego. And gradually the habit left my life entirely. It certainly didn't help that, as an adult, I've almost always lived in small New York apartments, which offer relatively little space for me to spread out and assemble massive sets and even less space to store them once completed. The other issue is that most of the sets I might want — the sprawling Rivendell set from The Lord of the Rings, or the mammoth Titanic, or a Millennium Falcon the size of a large pizza — cost several hundred dollars. An X-Wing Starfighter in pursuit of a TIE Interceptor. Rebecca Hartje Polybag sets represent, for me, the perfect balance of everything I loved about Lego without any of the obstacles that made me stop buying sets in the first place. They are so small that I can effectively build them on my lap. Once completed, they take up virtually no space, fitting neatly in a drawer or discreetly on a shelf. I don't mind looking at them, and their diminutive size makes them oddly adorable as I stash them away in surprising corners of my apartment. Most importantly, they are $5 — a sum of money just below the threshold where I begin to mentally account for my spending. Considering the cost of some big sets, you might think that $5 wouldn't get you very far in the world of Lego, but these are some of the most rewarding dollars I've spent. These sets are the perfect impulse purchase. I never finish one and ask myself, 'Did I really need this?' Rarely do quick, little treats deliver so thoroughly on their promise. Polybags usually have anywhere from 50 to 100 pieces. Some include a minifigure. And almost all of them are from big, banner Lego themes, like Star Wars or the Lego Creator line. They often include an ingenious repurposing of pieces from other sets: The thrusts on an X-Wing Starfighter, for example, seem to be lightsaber hilts from larger Star Wars sets. This season, I'm particularly fond of the Botanicals Mini Build, Field Flowers, four stalks from different plants that now live in a tiki cocktail glass in my living room. And as a bird nerd, I also like the Lego Creator Tropical Toucan and the bed of flowers sitting at its feet (which has crept up in price to roughly $10). A tropical toucan with a bed of flowers is one of three builds possible in this set. Alexander Aciman/NYT Wirecutter And I am not alone in my love of these little sets. 'I do often grab a Lego polybag in the checkout aisle if the theme catches my eye,' says Wirecutter writer and resident AFOL (Adult Fan of Lego) Joshua Lyon. 'The bag tends to sit unopened on my desk. Months, sometimes years later, I'll find the little treasure buried under office detritus, and that's what delights me — Lego polybags are small and inexpensive enough to become a surprise treat at some point down the line.' Something about the constraints of the size, and the need for polybags to be both satisfying to build and satisfying to behold when completed, traces along the edges of minimalism. They're like the haiku of Lego sets. They always feel very thoughtfully designed. As a result, polybag sets rarely seem incomplete, too small, or dissatisfying. A polybag set is exactly what it is supposed to be, no more, no less. They certainly never feel like tawdry, corporate money grabs. Some fanfare surrounds polybag releases, too. According to Joshua, many of the most sought-after polybags are Star Wars –themed. The downside of their popularity is that some polybags tend to sell out quickly. (I had to visit three different Targets before I finally found a mini Millennium Falcon. ) This set is surprisingly complex and rewarding to build for how few pieces it uses, and it yields a colorful and adorably small display piece. What I like most about a polybag is that putting one together is a bit like a mindfulness exercise. If I go slowly, building one can last for an entire hour-long episode of TV. If I am away on a trip, something about sitting in a hotel room alone and snapping bricks together over the course of an hour can feel grounding. I am always present when working on a polybag set, even when I am physically elsewhere. Although I usually find mine at Target, they're also available for purchase at Walmart and Barnes & Noble. If there's a particular set I'm after that is either sold out in stores or from a previous season, I can usually find it on eBay for slightly more than the $5 retail price. All 77 pieces of the Field Flowers polybag prior to assembly. Alexander Aciman/NYT Wirecutter The botanicals don't look quite like real flowers, but they are also impossible to overwater. Rebecca Hartje All 77 pieces of the Field Flowers polybag prior to assembly. Alexander Aciman/NYT Wirecutter At times, these smaller sets can feel like a gateway to more aggressive investment in larger Lego sets. I certainly feel a greater magnetic pull toward the Lego aisle in stores now, whereas previously I would have absentmindedly passed it by altogether. The fact that Lego officially calls polybags Recruitment Bags only reaffirms that their true purpose is to reel in lapsed Lego fans and still-uninitiated children. But larger sets will always lack the ephemerality of polybags — the fleeting, paper-crane-like nature of a Mini Build, which is the reason I love them so much to begin with. They enter my life almost as quickly and as easily as they come together. Fortunately for me, the constraints of real estate and square footage also help keep me in check. But if you ever come over to my apartment and dare to open my medicine cabinet, you might just find a TIE Interceptor pointed right at you. This article was edited by Hannah Rimm and Megan Beauchamp. From a van Gogh piece to a retro radio, these are our favorite Lego sets for adults. Our kid testers, and their parents, loved these Lego sets. Our resident Lego obsessive tested nine sets of the flashy, fake flora. Here's what to know before you make (or give) your own garden of earthly delights.
Fox News
an hour ago
- Fox News
Army's historic horse-drawn funeral tradition returns from two-year hiatus after $28M overhaul
The U.S. Army's Caisson Detachment returned to Arlington National Cemetery this week for the first time in two years. In Section 62, the ceremonial horse unit that transports veterans and service members to their final resting place, escorted the remains of Private Bernard Curran, who was killed in World War II. Curran died in 1942 after being captured by the Japanese. He was buried alongside other prisoners of war in Common Grave 723 in the Philippines. He was brought back home to the United States after his remains were identified by the U.S. military last year. The hallowed grounds of Arlington were decided to be his final resting place. The ceremony marked the return of the Caisson Detachment after a two-year suspension. The program faced a massive overhaul after two horses died within 96-hours of each other due to poor living conditions. The US Army's Caisson platoon is part of the 3rd Infantry Regiment, also known as the Old Guard, famously responsible for guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The Caisson horses have pulled the flag-draped coffins of America's war heroes to their final resting place at Arlington National Cemetery for more than 70 years. This is a military tradition that Army Secretary Dan Driscoll, who served in an Armored Infantry unit in Iraq, explained dates back hundreds of years. "The Caisson units in the military go back hundreds and hundreds of years, when militaries and armies want to show respect and love for their soldiers, soldiers who have served honorably and the soldiers who died in war," Driscoll said in an exclusive interview with Fox News. The Caisson program was halted in May 2023 while the Army investigated concerns that the horses used to pull the caisson were suffering from dangerous living conditions and neglect. "We had two horses die within four days of each other," Driscoll said. "And so we did a pause to all the operations and the Army took a hard look at what was causing that. What they found is these horses and their care had kind of fallen through the cracks." In February 2022, two Caisson horses, Mickey and Tony, died within 96 hours of each other. Both were euthanized due to poor conditions and feeding. Tony was found to have ingested 44 pounds of gravel and sand while Mickey had a gastrointestinal illness that went untreated. Another two horses died within the year, raising concerns within the Army and denying families this ceremonial tradition. "We hadn't done a particularly good job as an Army in all instances of making sure the training was good and that the horses were taken care of, so we took a pause. It was originally meant to be a 45-day pause that then as the government and sometimes the Army, it stretched on and on," Driscoll said. The Caisson unit was living in stables at Fort Myer in Arlington, Virginia at the time. A U.S. Army report found that conditions among the aging horses at decrepit stables located at Fort Meyer, that had been built in 1908, were inadequate to house the ceremonial horses. The horses were fed low quality hay, and routinely suffered from parasites from standing in their own excrement. They ate their feed off the ground in mud lots covered in gravel and construction waste, according to the report. Major General Trevor Bredenkamp, who serves as Commanding General of Joint Task Force National Capital Region and U.S. Army Military District of Washington, took command shortly after the Caisson program was suspended. "We had to rehabilitate many of our horses and what we found is years of underinvestment. They were injured beyond the point where they could still continue the mission, and so we had to retire them, and then we had to procure new horses… we found we lacked a degree of expertise to care for these horses," Bredenkamp said. He oversaw the complete overhaul of the unit. "It wasn't a problem that manifested itself overnight. This was decades of under-investment. We understood that gravel impaction was a significant problem because there was feed that was on the ground. We didn't have the appropriate matting in the stalls and so gravel could easily become mixed in with hay or with ground cover, and so we have raised all of the feed off of the ground, we've got feed bags hanging on the inside of the stalls. We have also put rubber matting on there again to prevent the possibility of gravel being ingested by the horses," Bredenkamp explained. The Army set out to find the best horse trainers in the country. "We brought in these outside experts. We created a plan. We invested $28 million in it over the last two years," Driscoll said. Lt. Col. Jason Crawford is a trained Army veterinarian who has been riding horses his whole life. Crawford was promoted to become the new caisson detachment commander earlier this year. "We've now had civilian trainers on our squads, on each individual squad, as well as within our leadership," Crawford explained. It was dental day when Crawford showed the Fox News crew around the newly renovated stable. "We've been doing dental procedures on all these horses, and we got them on a good routine now, and that's one of the other big changes, is really being persistent about their care," Crawford said. The Caisson unit has to choose their horses carefully. The unit will be doing up to two funerals a day, up 10 per week on the hard pavement of Arlington National Cemetery. "Unlike some of the other smaller breed horses, they're going to be on the concrete and the pavement. So really having strong feet for them to actually move through the cemetery is very vital. The biggest thing we look at is just being tall, wide, and have a good strong back and a solid hindquarters and solid legs," Crawford said. It takes a special horse to complete the mission of escorting America's heroes to their final resting place. "The way I look at anything with the horses, especially at military animals, is they're an extension of us. And it's that extension of what our abilities that we can do. Anything, you know, whether it's a working dog in the battlefield or if it's a horse we're using in Arlington Cemetery," Crawford said. The Army has returned the Caisson unit to its storied role after renovating the stables, and overhauling the care of the caisson horses using the best practices learned from the nation's top equine experts and equestrians. "I would say, though this horse cannot speak, I think it would say that it is living one of the best lives of any horse in our country," Driscoll said. Bredenkamp, who led the overhaul of the unit, explained, "As a 33-year veteran of the United States military, it is a visible reminder of the solemnity of service. When we carry our honored dead to our final resting place in Arlington National Cemetery, it is a visible symbol of American resolve and honor."
Washington Post
an hour ago
- Washington Post
Why the assault tape is so significant in Diddy's trial
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