Opinion: Other Texts I've Received From Trump Staffers
I can relate to Jeffrey Goldberg: I have also somehow in recent weeks ended up getting a series of what appears to be authentic texts from White House officials. Honestly, it's a welcome change of pace from the offers I've been receiving about well-paid remote work, missed packages and lines to pay EZ pass toll fees for trips I don't remember taking. The worst part? I keep paying the fees, but the texts keep coming!
Crucially, all these Trump staffers and other top GOP officials seem to have mistakenly saved my number as if it was one of their besties' contact info. I'm not mad, as the messages I received made me feel pretty important—and important enough to share with you:
From Pete Hegseth to Big Balls—and his assistant Little Balls—who now oversee all messages sent through cellphones in the U.S.: 'Can anyone get me the cell number of that smiling mugshot Georgia co-ed? I'm assuming she's with Cricket.'
From Elon Musk to the FDA and Doctor Oz: 'Bad day in stock market. Depressed. Need more ketamine* now.'
*Author's note: I find nothing wrong with that because well, I'm in show business.
From Kristi Noem to someone (me) she perhaps assumed was Corey Lewandowski and concerning what at first I in turn assumed was some sort of weather advisory: 'The coast is clear*, he's out of town.'
*Author's note: I find nothing wrong with that either because, well, I'm in show business.
From JD Vance to Usha Vance: 'Please text me back babe.'
From Kash Patel to Vladimir Putin: 'Please text me back babe.'
From RFK Jr. to all 83 of the 2022 Miss Universe contestants: 'Please text me back babes.'
From Mike Johnson to the five members of the National Prayer Council: 'Under HR 5171, from now on all WWJD bracelets will stand for 'What Would Johnson Do.''
From Linda McMahon to the President of Columbia University: 'I know you were 'rassling' with this—LOL WWE joke. Thank u for agreing to all our surrnder terms and I hope your lips are heeling from all that ass kissing.'
A second text from Linda McMahon to the President of Columbia University: 'Turns out free speech ain't free if it costs $400 million. LMAO.'
A third text from Linda McMahon to the President of Columbia University: 'Happy Pesach, smuck!'
From John Thune to someone (me) who he thought was Chuck Schumer: 'Thanks sucker!'*
*Author's note: I thought that was elder abuse.
From Howard Lutnick to all members of AARP: 'Die you bastards, die*. And then after you die, stop claiming Social Security.'
*Author's note: Okay, that is actual elder abuse.
From Donald Trump to Charles Barkley: 'How'd you like my biggest most beautiful bracket ever? Got every game right. No other president ever got every team right going into the Sweet 16.'
And from the Commissioner of International Territory Acquisitions to Greenland Premier Múte Bourup Egede: '52. naalagaaffitta tikilluaqqusaasuat!' (in English, 'Welcome our 52nd state!')
I hope now that this has gone public that these texts will stop. Except the ones from Linda McMahon. All her typos are cute.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Miami Herald
an hour ago
- Miami Herald
Scott Galloway bluntly predicts major change for Netflix
Scott Galloway, the podcaster and New York University professor, explained his view on June 13 that the last significant battle in the streaming industry was a showdown between Netflix and Hollywood - and Netflix emerged victorious. By expanding production globally, taking advantage of broadband technology, and capitalizing on inexpensive funding, Netflix (NFLX) was able to make large-scale investments similar to Amazon's strategy, Galloway explained, leaving competitors unable to keep pace. The outcome? A major shift in value from traditional studios and entertainment talent to Netflix's investors and subscribers. Don't miss the move: Subscribe to TheStreet's free daily newsletter Netflix's newest version operates as more than just a subscription-based platform - it now combines both subscriptions and advertising in its business model. And nearly 94 million people have chosen Netflix's ad-supported plan since it was introduced fewer than three years ago, according to Galloway. Netflix has proven itself to be a master of adaptation in the media landscape. It started as a mail-order DVD business, toppling the giant Blockbuster. Then it evolved into a streaming powerhouse, upending Hollywood's dominance. Related: Jean Chatzky sends strong message to Americans on Social Security Now, after a decade without major changes, Netflix is transforming once more, Galloway wrote. The company is introducing AI-driven content recommendations, mobile-friendly vertical videos, and a refreshed visual design to take on platforms such as YouTube and TikTok. And once again, the streaming service faces a new challenge. Shutterstock Having won the last streaming war, Netflix now confronts a new threat, Galloway explained in his "No Mercy / No Malice" newsletter. In fact, this prominent challenger is in the ring with all streaming services. "The next streaming war?" Galloway wrote. "YouTube takes on the world." "This year, more people in the U.S. watched YouTube on TVs than on mobile devices - a first," he continued. "YouTube is now the No. 1 distributor of TV content, according to Nielsen. And for the past three months, YouTube registered the largest share of TV viewing (12%) among media companies; Netflix accounted for 7.5%." More on the U.S. economy: Jean Chatzky shares major statement about Social SecurityShark Tank's Kevin O'Leary has blunt words on 401(k) plansDave Ramsey strongly cautions U.S. workers on Social Security YouTube is essentially public access television scaled to the internet, but with vastly superior production quality, observed Galloway. His Markets podcast co-host Ed Elson notes that Gen Z sees YouTube - owned by Alphabet (GOOGL) - as an algorithm-driven force shifting influence away from established brands and toward individual creators. The biggest disruptor to Hollywood, Galloway argues, isn't Netflix chairman's Reed Hastings - it's MrBeast, the YouTube star who has perfected parasocial relationships. In 2023 alone, MrBeast amassed over a billion hours of watch time, surpassing the top Netflix shows. "But just as individual content creators disrupted Hollywood, AI may disrupt content creators," Galloway wrote. While Netflix is expected to invest around $18 billion in content this year, YouTube effectively operates with a content budget of zero, instead sharing ad revenue with its creators. MrBeast has revealed that producing a single video typically costs him $2.5 million. Yet in a striking shift, an AI-generated muzak channel recently surpassed him, becoming the fastest-growing channel on YouTube this month. Related: Shark Tank's Kevin O'Leary makes bold prediction on U.S. economy Galloway argues that the rise of Netflix, YouTube and the competition for streaming audiences has cost us something vital: a shared cultural experience. In 1983, the final episode of M.A.S.H. was a national event, drawing 106 million viewers - nearly half of America, he recalls. By contrast, last year's most-watched scripted TV finale, "Yellowstone," reached just 13 million people, a mere 4% of the country. The shift from scheduled programming to unlimited, on-demand content has fragmented American culture, Galloway suggests - and this fact reflects the loss of two key societal pillars: collective experiences and a shared identity. "Without shared stories, we don't laugh together, love/hate the same heroes/villains, or believe in the same facts when we argue," Galloway wrote. "We lose our empathy, our ability to see each other as human." "It's hard to demonize someone you watched 'Cheers' with every Thursday night; it's easy to hate someone whose cultural references are completely foreign to your feed." Related: Scott Galloway makes major prediction on world economy; 401(k) impact seen The Arena Media Brands, LLC THESTREET is a registered trademark of TheStreet, Inc.
Yahoo
4 hours ago
- Yahoo
Miss Florida USA 2025 is a UF Gator; five other things to know about Palm Beach resident
The Palm Beach resident who claimed the Miss Florida USA crown in May is no stranger to competing in beauty pageants — or winning them. Lou Schieffelin, 25, a longtime professional model, aspiring pilot and director of marketing for a prominent Palm Beach real estate agent, secured her second crown on the Miss USA circuit on May 25. She previously was the 2018 Miss Florida Teen USA. The title comes one year after Schieffelin finished as second runner-up in the Miss Florida USA pageant. She will represent Florida at the Miss USA 2025 competition this fall, though a date and location have not been set. The Miss USA winner represents the United States at the Miss Universe competition, which will be held in November in Thailand. Here are five things to know about Miss Florida USA 2025 Lou Schieffelin: Schieffelin, who celebrated her 25th birthday June 7, spent her childhood in Greenwich, Connecticut, a city of 63,000 in the southwest corner of the state. She moved to Winter Park as a teenager and attended The First Academy in Orlando, where she played on the school's varsity volleyball team. Schieffelin went on to graduate from the University of Florida. Schieffelin has been a professional model for 16 years, following in her mom Stacey's footsteps. Stacey Schieffelin was a cover, catalog and runway model for more than 20 years, and she was instrumental in getting Lou and her sister, Knox, into modeling at a young age. As a child, Lou Schieffelin appeared on the cover of American Girl magazine, and she went on to work with brands like Ralph Lauren, Max Mara and Oscar de la Renta. Schieffelin said she has stepped away "a bit" from modeling, but she remains grateful for what it has offered her during the past 16 years. "It's been an amazing experience," she said. Schieffelin relocated to Palm Beach a year ago, moving in with a friend. She joined Margit Brandt's real estate office team as a director of marketing and licensed executive assistant, a role she told the Daily News she really enjoys. "She's obviously been very successful on the island," Schieffelin said of Brandt, who is affiliated with Premier Estate Properties. "I feel very honored to even be on the team." Both of Schieffelin's grandfathers were involved in aviation. One was a B-17 fighter pilot in World War II, and the other was a U.S. Army paratrooper. "Planes are kind of in my family, and I'm grateful to be able to continue the legacy," she said. Schieffelin's grandfather, Ed Stetler, operates a general livestock farm in Lakeland, and Schieffelin often visited during her childhood. "I definitely was dirty more than I was clean when I was little," she said. "I grew up in the mud. We were kind of in that southern tradition, like respect and hospitality and good business and handshakes. I'm grateful for my grandfather for raising me and my sister that way." Jodie Wagner is a journalist at the Palm Beach Daily News, part of the USA TODAY Florida Network. You can reach her at jwagner@ This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Miss Florida USA 2025: Facts on Lou Schieffelin in Palm Beach
CBS News
10 hours ago
- CBS News
Trump set to attend first day of Iowa State Fair in August
Washington — President Trump intends to open the Iowa State Fair on the first day of the 11-day event in August, according to sources familiar with the plan, revisiting a presidential campaign ritual in a state that helped deliver his return to the White House. Mr. Trump's visit, marked on the White House calendar for Aug. 7, is seen as an effort to shore up farm country for Republicans and to help celebrate the 250th anniversary of the nation's independence. Vice President JD Vance is also planning to attend the fair, but on a different day, according to one of the sources. Further details are expected to be locked in by late June. White House spokespeople declined to comment. Mr. Trump was last at the Iowa State Fair in August 2023, five months before the first votes in the GOP presidential primary contest, when his campaign was overshadowed by legal troubles, including an election conspiracy case. He has told advisers that he had a great time on that visit on the third day of the fair, relishing the spectacle that included a flyover in his private jet as his chief competitor, Ron DeSantis, was in the middle of an event, surrounded by reporters. On a stroll around the fairgrounds, Mr. Trump was mobbed with people, and attendance spiked to a record for the year with more than 118,000 visitors. He won the Iowa caucuses in January 2024 by about 30 points. Former President Donald Trump tossed a hat in the air while supporters cheer for him during the 2023 Iowa State Fair on Saturday, Aug. 12, 2023. Demetrius Freeman/The Washington Post via Getty Images A year ago, Mr. Trump said that if he were elected again, he would organize a big bash ahead of the nation's semiquincentennial on July 4, 2026, with a year-long exhibition that he hoped would be hosted at the Iowa State Fairgrounds with "pavilions from all 50 states." The state fair is a summer reunion for Iowans that showcases agriculture and middle America, with a life-sized cow sculpted out of butter, vendors selling deep-fried treats, carnival rides and animal shows. Iowa, the first state in the GOP primary calendar, has already attracted other politicians from both parties in recent weeks. Mr. Trump has repeatedly said his supports want him to run again, but he signaled in a May interview with NBC News that he wouldn't try to seek a third term, which is barred under the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution. "It's something that, to the best of my knowledge, you're not allowed to do," Mr. Trump said in May. "I'll be an eight-year president," he added. "I'll be a two-term president." Sen. Rand Paul, a Republican from Kentucky, spoke at a state party event in Cedar Rapids on May 29. Sen. Bernie Sanders, a n independent from Vermont, delivered remarks in February in Iowa City, as part of his "Fight Oligarchy" tour. His team also held organizing calls in competitive congressional districts in April. In 2023, the Democratic National Committee stripped Iowa of its "first in the nation" status in the party's nominating process. The DNC has not yet set its primary calendar for 2028. Mr. Trump first attended the fair as a reality television star, real estate mogul and presidential hopeful in 2015, when he gave children a ride on his personal helicopter and sought to outshine Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Sanders, who were there at the same time. He returned to the fairgrounds to speak at a fundraising event for Sen. Joni Ernst in 2016 and held a rally there in fall 2021.
