The other side of fatherhood: waiting, hoping, becoming

Time of India

6 hours ago

As Father's Day just went by, our timelines were filled with smiling dads and their little ones, photos full of laughter, gratitude, and love. Every year, this day becomes a beautiful reminder of what it means to be a father.
But there's another kind of dad out there.
One who doesn't have a handmade card waiting on the breakfast table.
One who quietly walks through baby aisles, heart tugging at the thought of 'someday.'
One who's still trying, still waiting, still hoping.
To that man, this day belongs to you, too.
The father no one talks about
You might not be the one unwrapping a tie or receiving hand-drawn cards.
Your moments are different.
They happen in waiting rooms, in long conversations with doctors, in silent car rides home, in unspoken prayers that are sometimes too tender to say out loud.
You are a man who wants to be a father. And that, in itself, is something powerful.
But the world doesn't always see that side.
Because your story doesn't come with a due date.
There are no balloons, no baby showers. Just the quiet courage of showing up. Again and again.
In reality, the journey to fatherhood isn't always about cribs and lullabies; it often starts much earlier. In the heart. In the intention. In the commitment to becoming someone's safe place, even if that 'someone' hasn't arrived yet.
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The weight of silence
There's an unspoken rule that men are expected to carry their struggles in silence, especially those that touch their sense of identity. Fertility is one of those tender topics.
While
science
tells us that nearly 4 out of 10 infertility cases are due to male factors, conversations around male fertility still carry a certain stigma. And for many men, facing fertility challenges can quietly unravel their sense of self-worth.
But here's what needs to be said louder:
Struggling with fertility does not make you any less of a man. Your ability to nurture, love, and protect isn't measured by a lab report. Manhood is not proven by perfection; it's shaped by presence, by love, and by willingness to grow.
It takes tremendous emotional strength to admit when something's wrong.
To ask questions.
To sit in vulnerability.
To keep showing up for yourself and your partner, even when the road is uncertain.
That's not a weakness. That's grace.
Because taking action matters
Some say parenthood begins at the birth of your little one. But for many, it begins much earlier…
It's in the quiet decision to seek answers.
In the willingness to understand your body, not as a source of shame, but as a source of possibility.
In booking that first consultation, even if your heart is full of questions.
In walking into a clinic, not because you've failed, but because you still believe.
Today, fertility care has changed. It's not cold or clinical. It's human.
It's grounded in science, yes - but also in compassion, confidentiality, and understanding.
A simple test, sometimes as straightforward as a
semen analysis
, can uncover information you didn't know you were missing. And with that knowledge comes power: to explore treatments tailored for you, to make informed choices, to take a step forward.
This journey isn't just about biology.
It's about emotional resilience. And that's why more men today are choosing to take charge of their reproductive health, not just for themselves, but for their partners, for their future families, and for the dream they still hold close.
You're not walking this path alone. There are experts who see you, not just your numbers, but your doubts, your fears, your questions. There's no shame in asking or taking a second opinion.
No weakness in checking. No 'too late' in trying.
It's time to expand the circle
While the world raises a toast to dads who are already in their role, let's also make room at the table for you.
The ones who are still in the process. Still on the path. Still holding a father's heart patiently, lovingly, while life catches up.
You may not have the traditional milestones to show just yet. But your emotional journey, your effort, and your heart make you every bit a father in spirit.
There's no timeline on love. There's no expiration date on dreams. And there's certainly no one way to become a dad.
Dear future fathers, take a moment to honour yourself.
For the ways you've shown up.
For the dreams you're still holding onto.
For the family you're building in your heart.
From the Doctor's Desk
If you are still waiting to be called 'dad,' know this: you are not alone, and there are answers. Male infertility is a real problem, but today, we have advanced diagnostics and treatments that can offer effective solutions. From semen analysis to tailored treatment plans, there are ways forward. Reaching out is not a weakness. It's the first step toward possibility.
We are here to guide you with All Heart. All Science.
Dr Prachi Benara,
Birla Fertility & IVF, Gurgaon
The above is non-editorial content and TIL does not guarantee, vouch or endorse any of it. Please take all steps necessary to ascertain that any information and content provided is correct, updated, and verified.