logo
Women's voices in a world that still questions them

Women's voices in a world that still questions them

New European12-03-2025

March has finally arrived, and with it, the sunshine, but there's still a chill in the air. So I put a scarf over my lighter jacket and head out into the Birmingham city centre lunchtime rush. I find a place and it's packed, but manage to snag a seat and enough space for the laptop.
I can't help people-watching. To my left are two men – typical city workers. They're discussing shares and I find myself almost immediately tuning out. Two young women are giggling over their drinks, and I smile. I have always found comfort in the sight of other women enjoying themselves.
My iced coffee arrives, and on the laptop I start reading through the results of King's College and Ipsos's latest annual study into the views of men and women in Gen Z: that is people born between 1997 and 2012. The results show that, among other things, six in 10 Gen Z men believe women's equality has gone too far.
What constitutes too far, I wonder? And do those men at the other table think this? Another question comes to mind – why are we even asking these questions? Every year we have the same conversations and come to the same conclusion, that misogyny exists and that something needs to be done. Inevitably, very little is actually done.
I put together a list of women to read for Women's History Month, books to look forward to – all by female authors. I don't see doing something like this as especially radical. After all, I was raised primarily by women.
Growing up, I always feared the nuns who sat at the back during mass rather than the distant priest holding the Eucharist at the front. I read Toni Morrison and then Angela Davis and Virginia Woolf – my whole intellectual hinterland has been shaped by women.
At home, the bookshelves are like an account of my education. I studied Hume, Kant and Descartes as an undergrad, but I consciously chose to study fewer male philosophers and political theorists than is typical. This wasn't some act of rejection, but a deliberate choice to seek out women's voices in my intellectual landscape.
I wonder, watching those two men on the table over there, what female voices they have had in their lives. How did those two stockbrokers commemorate International Women's Day? But why do I put so much thought towards these men? Why do we, collectively, place men at the centre when looking for solutions? The questions always seem to be 'how do we get the men on side?'
I'm projecting my own frustrations at the state of the world on to two blameless strangers at the next table. But you have to admit, the results of that survey are troubling. Do large numbers of people simply lack the ability to care about other humans? Maybe. But then what good has pessimism ever done anyone?
It's time to go. I order another coffee – hot this time — and head back out into the Birmingham sun. Two men are entering and one holds the door open for me. The other lets me pass. I smile and thank them as I leave.
Michaela Makusha is a freelance journalist who writes about politics, racial and gender issues

Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

Straight men are using gay dating apps for ego boosts
Straight men are using gay dating apps for ego boosts

Metro

time5 hours ago

  • Metro

Straight men are using gay dating apps for ego boosts

Less than an hour before a hookup, I was hit with that most dreaded of texts: 'Sorry but I can't come today.' Wanting to give the benefit of the doubt, I replied asking if he wanted to rearrange. Only, this time, my message went undelivered. There was no mistaking what that meant – I'd been blocked. I had met 32-year-old Jimmy* on Grindr, and we had spent half of the night exchanging nudes and compliments. He told me he was just looking for a casual hookup early on into our conversation, so while I never expected much to come from meeting him, it still stung to realise I was just his 3am bit of fun. Then again, I suppose I should have seen it coming. He did tell me he was straight, after all. Finding a straight man on a gay dating app is like spotting a cloud in the sky these days – they're everywhere. In fact, to a certain extent, it feels like our platforms have been infested by them. But what, I hear you ask, are heterosexual men doing on these platforms? Why go through these interactions if there's nothing to gain? The simple answer: They're in it for the ego boost. With thousands of members from all over the world, our vibrant LGBTQ+ WhatsApp channel is a hub for all the latest news and important issues that face the LGBTQ+ community. Simply click on this link, select 'Join Chat' and you're in! Don't forget to turn on notifications! It's no secret that the way we date has evolved in recent years. As a key example, digital platforms continue to dominate the modern dating world with 72% of Brits meeting through apps. However, research shows that some people are using these digital spaces not to date, but to seek validation, and to be liked and affirmed. And I for one have been stung by this on more than one occasion. When I matched with 20-something Harry*, we had a lot of virtual fun. We spent two weeks entertaining each other online exchanging intimate photos and several flirty conversations, until eventually we set a time and place for a date. On the day we were supposed to meet, he became unresponsive, so I chased him down, asking if we were still on. That's when he admitted he was straight. At that moment, a weird feeling erupted in my chest; it wasn't heartbreak, more a question of how I could have got it so wrong and I knew I wanted, and deserved, answers. 'What was the point?' I asked, to which he blurted out something about how it 'felt good' and how he'd liked it when I'd 'gassed him up' – GenZ for 'giving compliments'. Suddenly I started thinking back to conversations I'd had with other men who I'd thought had ghosted me. If my conversations with Harry had given him a sense of validation all from a few compliments, then maybe other men who never followed through were in the same position – straight and seeking an ego boost. While I tried to get my head around that, one question remained: If these men seek validation, why not turn to their heterosexual counterparts? Once upon a time, I suppose straight men could have expected to get their egos inflated by straight women. But from what I've gathered, mostly through conversations with the women in my life, many women aren't here to stroke men's egos anymore. It's like they've developed a no nonsense attitude towards attention-seeking men. While I applaud that, it means these men are then left searching for new places to feel validated – and that's why they've turned to our queer spaces. And sadly, in a world where queer people still desire to be seen, these men are able to easily take advantage, hit us up and later neglect us. They'll flirt, chat, flood us with dick pics, waiting for us to praise the size of their cocks, and tease us with the idea of meeting up, then, when they've had their fun, they ghost us like we were a blip. The flirting followed by the cancelling of plans, blocking and dismissiveness has a profound effect on queer people. It's one thing if the guy is still struggling with his sexuality, but it's another when he's just using queer men for his midnight pleasure, a fleeting ego boost with no care behind it. We're left feeling invisible and disposable, questioning what's real or not. As a community we already face discrimination, sometimes from these very men in the outside world. So when we're exploited for their ego boosts online, it feels casually cruel. More Trending Though they might not be snapping heartstrings, they're manipulating them, which feels like the worst betrayal of all. If you're a straight man after some online fun, queer people just have one request: Be honest. We already struggle to find intimacy, so false promises on meeting up just deepens wounds. Using us as a source to boost your ego won't get you anywhere, but being upfront with your intentions might just score you a cheeky bum pic. View More » *Names have been changed Do you have a story you'd like to share? Get in touch by emailing Share your views in the comments below. MORE: I've been revising for my son's GCSEs – I'm more stressed than him MORE: I won't sleep with anyone else until I figure out my sexuality MORE: Two people stabbed and one shot during World Pride parade

One in 10 Brits have had the same best friend since they were 10 years old
One in 10 Brits have had the same best friend since they were 10 years old

Daily Mirror

timea day ago

  • Daily Mirror

One in 10 Brits have had the same best friend since they were 10 years old

Study reveals Brits find lifelong best friends in their teens, but busy schedules are a challenge for most adult friendships The typical Brit reportedly meets their best friend at the age of 19, with one in ten maintaining the same close friendship since they were just 10 years old. A study involving 2,000 UK adults discovered that a fifth found lifelong friends between the ages of 11 to 15, making school the ultimate place for building friendships. Classrooms have given rise to 37% of best-friendships, particularly among Gen-Z and millennials, while work has played matchmaker for 17%. Main factors for securing the bond between best friends were identified as trust, support during difficult times, and a shared sense of humour. ‌ ‌ However, staying close doesn't appear as straightforward as it used to be – a third of those polled think it's harder to maintain adult friendships as they only manage to meet up with their best friends a few times a year. Merely 13% manage to meet up with their friend on a weekly basis, and 17% leave it as long as a year in between catch ups. And it seems busy life schedules are to blame, with 46% believing it's because people are more unavailable now, so it is harder to find time to connect. The study also uncovered 13% of adults aged over 65 have more than five best friends, whereas only 6% of Gen Z has the same number. Almost half of adults over 65 said they made their best friends after the age of 35, with one in 20 holding onto relationships from six to 10 years old. According to the study, food continues to be a key ingredient to great friendships and spending time together, as almost half maintain contact by going out for brunch and breakfast with their friends. Ice cream tops the list as the ultimate friendship dessert; 27% of Brits say it would be their go-to with their best friend, followed by chocolate cake (20%) and cheesecake (16%). To put a spotlight on National Best Friends Day, Nutella erected an enormous 3.8m tall by 3.5m wide ice cream tub in Potters Field Park as an invitation for friends to snack together. Chiming in on the occasion, Gemma Mattison, spokesperson for Ferrero UK & Ireland, creators of the beloved spread, commented: "Best friends are the people we laugh with, lean on, and share life's little moments with - and that's something worth celebrating."

Average age Brits meet their ‘best friend for life' is revealed in new study
Average age Brits meet their ‘best friend for life' is revealed in new study

The Sun

timea day ago

  • The Sun

Average age Brits meet their ‘best friend for life' is revealed in new study

THE average Brit met their best friend at age 19 – with one in 10 having had the same one since they were 10 years old. The research of 2,000 UK adults revealed 22 per cent met genuine friends for life between the ages of 11 to 15, making school the ultimate friendship factory. 3 Classrooms were the birthplace of 37 per cent of these best-friend connections, especially among Gen-Z and millennials, while 17 per cent found their forever friend on the job. Trust (67 per cent), support through tough times (53 per cent), and a shared sense of humour (41 per cent), were identified as the glue that helps best friends stay together. To mark National Best Friends Day, Nutella placed a 3.8m high and 3.5m wide ice cream tub in Potters Field Park, London, to invite pals to share a snack together. Gemma Mattison, a spokesperson for Ferrero UK & Ireland, makers of the spread, said: 'Best friends are the people we laugh with, lean on, and share life's little moments with - and that's something worth celebrating.' But remaining close isn't as easy as it once was - a third of those polled think it's harder to maintain adult friendships as they only manage to meet up with their best pals a few times a year (22 per cent). Just 13 per cent see their best friends on a weekly basis, and 17 per cent leave it as long as a year in between catch ups. And it seems busy life schedules are to blame, with 46 per cent believing it's because people are more unavailable now, so it is harder to find time to connect. Food continues to be a key ingredient to great friendships and spending time together, as almost half (45 per cent) maintain contact by going out for brunch and breakfast with their mate. According to the OnePoll study, ice cream tops the list as the ultimate friendship dessert; 27 per cent of Brits say it would be their forever go-to with their best friend, followed by chocolate cake (20 per cent) and cheesecake (16 per cent). The study also uncovered 13 per cent of adults aged over 65 have more than five best friends, whereas only six per cent of Gen Z has the same number. Almost half of the silent generation said they made their best friends after the age of 35, with one in 20 holding onto relationships from six to 10 years old. 3 3

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into the world of global news and events? Download our app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store