Tank you, Trump
On the blending of birthday & military bling
Why can't boys just keep being boys? Once nine-year-olds used to play with toy tanks, today they drive these around in video games. So heck, when a boy becomes a president and finds his 79th birthday around the corner, of course he'll treat himself to a real-life parade of tanks. This is Trump, of course. Among the many blessings Lady Luck has sent his way, his birthday, June 14, falls on Flag Day, which this year marks US army's 250th birthday. He doesn't want what he sees as the greatest missiles in the world, the greatest submarines, the greatest army tanks, the greatest weapons celebrating all by their lonesome self. He's gonna glam the whole thing up.
In North Korea founder Kim Il-sung's birthday is referred to as the Day of the Sun and all its bling puts Christmas to shame. Trads are flinching at seeing this authoritarian playbook unleashed in America. But they can take a hike. Trump is a no-holds-barred fan of bling. He's given the Oval Office a gold-plated makeover and next he'll de-grass the Rose Garden because he's seen it getting women's shoes full of mud. This president breaks the mould. He dismisses pleas for democratic separation of powers and against wasting taxpayer money on personal vanity, as moldy. He's thrown these into his dustbin. It's, yes, gilt-covered.
Many children throw cake at birthday parties but then grow up into sober earnestness. Trump's inner child is impenitent and brazen. Again, trads see its paroxysms as overcompensation. They keep thinking back to him flaring up once, 'Look at those hands, are they small hands?' And now he's set up MAGA to yodel 'Happy Birthday to you' to him in Mohd Rafi style. But with side helpings of fireworks and 6,600 soldiers. The trads had better accept this is just the start. Pay attention to the Trump surrogates and it's clear there's much more cooking alongside the birthday parade. Next up, Trump could be up on Mount Rushmore or down on a new $250 bill. What's the Trumpers' fave song? Hit me baby, one more time.
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