The smile that hides the pain

Observer

13-05-2025

There are certain topics writers tend to avoid, and one of the most universally avoided is suicide. Across cultures, it remains a deeply sensitive subject, surrounded with stigma and silence. That silence was shattered for me recently when I listened to an Arabic-language private radio interview with a courageous Omani parent who had lost their teenage child to suicide. Their words were a call to all of us to do one of the most difficult things in the world - not to judge, but to ask whether we are truly 'there' for those around us who may be silently struggling with despair.
We are fortunate to live in caring, peaceful communities where spirituality still matters. But even the most devout societies are not immune to mental illness. Depression, in particular, is a global epidemic. While around 800,000 suicide cases are recorder annually, less than 100 are recorded in the Sultanate of Oman, according to Dr Hamad al Sinawi, Head of Behavioural Medicine Department at SQU Hospital.
Yet, we must emphasise that even one life lost, is a life too many. Many faith traditions, including Islam, treat life as the most sacred of gifts. Suicide is considered a sin, not only because it ends that gift, but because it is seen as giving up without exhausting every effort to live fully and fulfil one's purpose. This belief can lead some to view compassion for suicide victims as dangerous, as if tolerance might tempt those with 'weaker faith' to stop trying. However, this thinking risks ignoring the very real suffering that often comes from external factors: Bullying, neglect, abuse, inadequate and unprofessional mental health services and systemic failures that push individuals towards the edge.
It was in that same interview that I first heard the term 'smiling depression' a chilling phrase describing people who appear outwardly cheerful and functional, even as they wrestle with overwhelming inner darkness. It is a form of depression that hides behind achievement, politeness and a smile. It is particularly dangerous because it escapes detection until it's too late.
Some of the world's most beloved comedians, including Robin Williams, made millions laugh while privately enduring immense psychological pain. In the end, even their light couldn't save them.
From a public policy standpoint, we often categorise responses to complex issues like suicide into four types:
- Preventative measures focus on raising awareness, reducing stigma, promoting mental health education, and ensuring safe, open environments for dialogue. Schools, workplaces, mosques and other houses of worship, and families must be enabled to notice signs and respond early.
- Curative measures require proper access to professional mental healthcare, psychologists, counsellors, helplines and psychiatric treatment. We need to normalise seeking help, just as we would for physical illness.
- Alleviative measures address the root causes: Emotional neglect, toxic environments, financial stress, or abuse. Social services, stronger family systems and youth engagement programmes are essential in healing the societal wounds that breed despair.
- Punitive measures apply to those whose actions directly contribute to another's psychological decline, bullies, abusers, and neglectful guardians. Accountability must exist to deter cruelty and protect the vulnerable.
Even the prophets faced unimaginable lows. The story of Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) peace be upon him, reminds us of that. Envied, betrayed, sold, imprisoned and neglected, he overcame his trials with resilience and faith. Yet at the end of his life, he famously prayed, 'My Lord, You have given me of sovereignty and taught me the interpretation of dreams. Creator of the heavens and earth, You are my protector in this world and in the Hereafter. Let me die a Muslim/submitter to the Lord and join the righteous' (Quran 12:101). His prayer shows that longing for peace, even through death, can coexist with strength, spirituality and purpose.
We must engage our network of homes, schools, playgrounds, houses of worship, workplaces and more significantly today - established and new media to be more present, more empathetic and more courageous in how we talk about mental health. The smiling faces around us may be carrying silent pain. Behind every tragic loss is a chance for reflection and an urgent call to act with compassion and accountability.
Khalid Alsafi Al Huraibi
The writer is an innovator and an insights storyteller