Here's how to help moms lighten mental load from household tasks
Research shows moms overwhelmingly carry the mental load from household tasks, but there are ways to lighten it.
While all families are different, women are most often the ones to plan meals, remember the names of their children's teachers, and take the kids to soccer practice, according to research.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in December 2024, which CBS Mornings cited in a recent segment, found that mothers take on 71 percent of the mental workload that comes with running a household.
Dr. Sue Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist, told CBS Mornings, 'I think the number should be higher.'
Researchers found mothers take on the bulk of core daily tasks 'related to family well-being' while fathers tend to tackle 'episodic tasks related to maintenance and finances,' according to the study.
Varma described what she hears from mothers when working with couples.
'The woman says, 'Not only am I organizing, planning, managing, but I'm anticipating for all the things that can go wrong because guess who's going to deal with the consequences of them. I am.''
Varma said women can also experience an 'emotional overload.'
"A child is often turning to the mother in most cases, assuming it's a heterosexual couple, for comfort, and the school is calling the mother when the child is sick and who's taking time off from work? So all of it comes back down to the woman often," she said.
So, what can be done to lighten moms' mental load? It starts with their partners.
Varma explained the mindset of mothers: 'I don't want to have to give you a list to delegate, I want you to be a part of the conversation. For example, when the school year starts, what are some of those things that have to get done on a regular basis?'
To share the mental load, fathers have to acknowledge it, initiate household tasks, contribute to regular, open communication and share in planning and decision-making, CBS Mornings reported.
'So we want to make sure we check in with [mothers] and even just to say, 'What can I do to help you? Talk to me about what you're going through and how can we prevent this as a team?' That feeling of you're with me, you're on my side. So many times, women tell me, 'I don't feel like I have a partner,'' Varma said.
Varma gave some advice for women when communicating with their partners about their mental load.
'If you're going to ask your partner for more help you cannot throw the kitchen sink at them.'
The psychiatrist suggested women tell their partners: 'I love it when you do all these things, when you ask me how I feel, when you ask me how my day was, when get in there and you roll up your sleeves and you're doing the dishes, when you say 'you know what, I'll do the pickup today.''
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Daily Mail
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- Daily Mail
Nutrition Twins reveal diet that reverses colon cancer exploding in young people
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We're both registered dietitians and wellness experts, and we're giving the Daily Mail a week's worth of meals to help protect your colon. We've included prebiotic fibers throughout this menu that are fermented by gut bacteria to activate GLP-1 and benefit overall health. And as rates of colorectal cancer in people under 50 and as young as 20 steadily rise, fiber is now more critical than ever as it helps prevent inflammation, a leading precursor to cancer. Just 24 grams per day - the equivalent of around five portions of fruit - has been linked to a 30% lower risk of colon cancer. Research consistently shows that the greater variety of plant fiber sources in your diet, the healthier your microbiome becomes. That's why the twins encourage their clients to aim for 30 different plant foods per week. Experts have been singing fiber's praises for years. A 1971 study based on observations in African countries, mainly Uganda, reported that when a diet is low in fiber, it can slow down how quickly waste moves through the colon. As a result, cancer-causing substances in the stool become more concentrated in the smaller amount of waste and stay in contact with the lining of the colon for a longer time, increasing harmful effects. Fast-forward to 2011, and the World Cancer Research Fund and American Institute of Cancer Research update on the state of colorectal cancer worldwide concluded that there is now 'convincing' evidence that increased fiber intake protects against colorectal cancer. A sweeping review four years later found that eating at least 25 grams of total fiber per day was linked to a 24 % reduced risk of incident colorectal adenoma, the benign polyps that mark the starting point on the path to cancer. That same study found that following a daily diet of at least 25 grams of fiber reduced the risk of distal colon cancer - tumors on the left side of the colon - by 38%. We carefully crafted this delicious menu providing 1,700 to 1,800 calories and about 25 to 38 grams of fiber daily - enough to deliver substantial health benefits while staying within the safe range for most people. We intentionally chose this slightly lower calorie count because many women and smaller adults need fewer calories to maintain weight. While some very healthy diets exceed 38 grams of fiber daily, we stay pretty close within this threshold because people accustomed to low-fiber diets need to increase their intake gradually, allowing their digestive systems time to adjust and avoid uncomfortable bloating or gas. Our menu is nutritionally balanced to support overall health, and each day's meals provide less than 7% of calories from saturated fat, at least 20 to 30 grams of protein per meal, wholesome carbohydrates (no more than 45 to 50 grams of carbs per meal) and keeps total fat under 30% of daily calories. We've incorporated delicious fiber-rich foods like pistachios, lentils and even innovative options like prebiotic sodas, smoothies and dark chocolate to make reaching your fiber goals both enjoyable and sustainable. Day 1: Monday Breakfast: Berry Oat Bowl Ingredients 2/3 cup cooked oatmeal (5 g fiber, prebiotic) 1/2 banana (1.5 g fiber, prebiotic) 1/3 cup mixed berries (2 g fiber) 1 tbsp ground flaxseed (2 g fiber, prebiotic) 2 tbsp almond butter 1 tsp honey Steps Cook oats according to package directions, then top with all remaining ingredients Meal: 485 calories | 22 g protein | 10.5 g fiber Lunch: Salmon & Quinoa Power Bowl Ingredients 4 oz grilled salmon 1/2 cup cooked quinoa (2 g fiber, prebiotic) 2 cups mixed greens (2 g fiber) 1 avocado (3 g fiber, prebiotic) 1/4 cup cucumber (0.1 g fiber) 1/4 cup shredded carrots (0.7 g fiber) 1 tbsp hemp seeds (1 g fiber, prebiotic) 2 tbsp olive oil vinaigrette Steps Layer mixed greens and quinoa in a bowl. Top with grilled salmon, sliced avocado, diced cucumber, carrots and hemp seeds. Drizzle with vinaigrette. 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Adding it last will help you to need less salt. Add about 1/4 cup of the cooked lentils in a row down the middle of each tortilla. Top with sliced tomato and avocado. Serve and enjoy! Meal: 550 calories | 30 g protein | 20 g fiber, prebiotic Day 2: Tuesday Ingredients 3/4 cup non-fat Greek yogurt 1/4 cup pomegranate juice 1/2 cup green grapes 1 cup pineapple pieces 1 cup spinach, packed 1 inch fresh ginger, peeled 1/8 cup shell-off pistachios, lightly salted (roughly 25 kernels) 1/2 tbsp chia seeds (2 g fiber, prebiotic) 1 tbsp coconut flakes (1 g fiber) 4 ice cubes Steps Combine all ingredients in a blender Meal: 460 calories | 27 g protein | 13 g fiber Lunch: Creamy Smoked Salmon on Rye Open-Face Sandwich Ingredients 2 slices whole rye bread, such as Landsberg (8g fiber, prebiotic) 4 oz smoked salmon 2 tbsp light cream cheese 1/4 cucumber, sliced (0.5 g fiber) 1 tbsp capers Fresh dill Side: 2 cups mixed green salad with 1 tbsp vinaigrette (2 g fiber) Steps Layer ingredients in desired order on the bread Meal: 685 calories | 40 g protein | 10 g fiber Snack: Step One Foods Dark Chocolate Walnut Bar A Step One Foods Dark Chocolate Walnut bar is a great snack option during the day. 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Mound the filling onto the sweet potato (there is a lot of filling – it will not all fit tucked into the sweet potato, but that's okay!) Sprinkle the cheese on top of the filling, then microwave or bake the whole thing until the cheese is melted. Dollop the Greek yogurt on top and serve. 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Cook chicken until thoroughly cooked and chicken looks seared and starts to turn a nice golden brown as the honey absorbs into the chicken. The more thinly sliced the chicken, the better in terms of cooking quickly. Add more ginger and garlic powder to liking. Once chicken is completely cooked through and no longer pink, remove from pan. Add to a plate filled with your favorite veggies or cover with sesame seeds and then serve. Enjoy! Meal: 545 cal | 52 g protein | 7g fiber Day 5: Saturday Daily Total: 1,795 calories | 34g fiber | 106g protein Breakfast: Berry-Banana-Flax Smoothie Bowl Ingredients 1 scoop protein powder 1/2 banana (1.5g fiber, prebiotic) 1/2 cup berries (3g fiber) 1 tbsp ground flaxseed (2g fiber, prebiotic) 1/4 cup granola with nuts (2g fiber) 1 tsp almond butter Steps Blend all together and serve in a bowl Meal: 485 cal | 32g protein | 8.5g fiber Lunch: Buddha Bowl with Tofu Ingredients 4 oz baked tofu 1/2 cup brown rice (2g fiber) 1/2 cup edamame (4g fiber, prebiotic) 1 cup roasted vegetables (broccoli, carrots) (4g fiber) 1/4 cup red cabbage (1g fiber) 2 tbsp tahini dressing 1 tbsp hemp seeds (1g fiber) Steps Combine ingredients in a large bowl Meal: 475 cal | 28g protein | 12g fiber Snack: Roasted Chickpeas 1 oz roasted chickpeas (3g fiber, prebiotic) 1/4 cup dried fruit mix (2g fiber) Snack: 165 cal | 6g protein | 5g fiber Dinner: Easy Lemon-Dill Salmon + Wild Rice + Veggies Ingredients 1.5 cups asparagus (4.5g prebiotic fiber) 1 cup wild rice (3.5g fiber) 2.5 cups salad (mixed greens, chopped assorted veggies) (4g fiber) 1 tablespoon olive oil (dressing) Vinegar, to taste Steps To make the dill weed sauce, stir yogurt (or sour cream), lemon juice and dill until well-mixed. Refrigerate until salmon is prepared. To cook the salmon fillet; heat up the grill or broiler. Once heated, spray moderately with oil. Cook salmon steaks until flaky and lightly brown, flipping only once. Remove fillet from grill once done. Pour dill sauce on top, spreading evenly between both salmon fillets. (Recipe adjustment: Enjoy entire recipe—make it into one serving) and serve with wild rice, asparagus, and side salad with olive oil and vinegar Meal: 545 cal | 38g protein | 12g fiber Day 6: Sunday Daily Total: 1,840 calories | 31g fiber | 100g protein Breakfast: Cinnamon Belly Fat-Burning Oatmeal Ingredients 1/2 cup oats 1/2 cup nonfat milk 1/2 small banana, mashed 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/3 cup nonfat cottage cheese 1 egg white Steps Combine the oats, milk, banana, and cinnamon in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave for 1.5 minutes. Stir the cottage cheese and egg white into the oatmeal until combined. Microwave for 1 minute more to cook the egg white all the way through. Stir again and serve! Enjoy! Meal: 308 cal | 23g protein | 6g prebiotic fiber Lunch: High-Protein Quinoa Stuffed Bell Peppers Ingredients 1 large bell pepper (2.5g fiber) ½ cup cooked quinoa (2.5g fiber) 3 oz extra lean ground chicken breast ¼ cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained (3.5g prebiotic fiber ) ¼ cup diced tomatoes (fresh or canned) (0.5g fiber) 2 tbsp chopped red onion (0.3g fiber) 1 tsp olive oil (for sautéing) 1.5 tbsp shredded part-skim mozzarella Spices (garlic powder, cumin, chili powder, pepper, salt) Steps Preheat oven to 375°F. Sauté onions in olive oil in skillet until translucent; then add ground turkey & spices. In a bowl, mix turkey mixture, quinoa, black beans & tomatoes. Stuff pepper halves with mixture & top with shredded mozzarella. Bake in baking dish until peppers tender & cheese is melted (about 25-30 min). Broil an additional 1-2 minutes if you want the cheese to brown. 1 blondie (2g fiber) 1/2 cup mixed berries (2g fiber) Ingredients for the blondie: 1, 15-oz can chickpeas, also may be found as garbanzo beans 1/2 cup all natural peanut butter 1/3 cup honey 2 tsp vanilla 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon 1/3 cup dark chocolate chips, plus 1 Tbsp, reserve for top 1 Tbsp unsweetened coconut flakes, reserve for sprinkling Steps Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spritz an 8×8 pan with oil in a spray container. Rinse chickpeas and place in food processor. If using a blender, after rinsing chickpeas, remove their skin before placing in the blender by pinching the chick pea between your fingers. The skin will easily fall off and will take about five extra minutes and will ensure a very smooth blended all ingredients except the chocolate chips and unsweetened coconut flakes in a food processor and blend until completely mixed. Fold in 1/3 cup dark chocolate chips. Spread batter evenly in pan, top with reserved 1 Tbsp of chocolate chips Bake for approximately 18 – 20 minutes. This will vary depending on your oven. You do not want to overcook these so check on them to see if they are ready sooner in your oven. They should be moist and a little brown around the edges. Insert a toothpick, if it comes out clean they are done. Cool pan on a wire rack until pan is cool to touch, sprinkle with unsweetened coconut flakes. Cut into squares. Makes 16 blondies Delicious immediately or cool in refrigerator for a delicious cold treat. If you prefer them to be more firm, simply allowing them to cool in the fridge. 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Meal: 565 cal | 38g protein | 12g fiber Day 7: Tuesday Daily Total: 1,825 calories | 46g fiber | 118g protein Breakfast: Protein-Packed Avocado Toast Ingredients 2 slices whole grain toast (6g fiber) 1/2 avocado (5g fiber, prebiotic) 2 scrambled eggs 1/4 cup berries (2g fiber) Steps Assemble as desired Meal: 485 cal | 25g protein | 13g fiber Lunch: Lemon Cod & Farro Plate Ingredients 5 oz baked cod 1/2 cup cooked farro (4g fiber, prebiotic) 2 cups arugula (2g fiber, prebiotic) 1/3 cup chickpeas (3g fiber, prebiotic) 2 tbsp hummus (1g fiber) 1/4 cup roasted red peppers 2 tbsp olive oil lemon dressing Steps Arrange farro and arugula on a plate. Top with baked cod, chickpeas, and roasted red peppers. Add dollop of hummus and drizzle with olive oil lemon dressing. Meal: 565 cal | 45g protein | 10g fiber Snack: Flackers Organic Savory Crackers 8 Flacker Savory Crackers (8 g fiber, prebiotic) Snack: 150 cal | 6g protein | 8g fiber Dinner: Sesame Ginger Chicken Stir-Fry Ingredients 4 oz grilled chicken breast 2 cups mixed stir-fry vegetables (broccoli, bell peppers, snap peas) (6g fiber, prebiotic) 2/3 cup brown rice (2g fiber, prebiotic) 1 tbsp sesame oil 2 cloves garlic, minced (0.1 g fiber, prebiotic) 1 tsp fresh ginger, minced (0.1 g fiber, prebiotic) 2 tbsp low-sodium tamari 1 tsp rice vinegar 1 tsp sesame seeds 2 tbsp green onions, sliced (0.1 g fiber, prebiotic) Steps Heat sesame oil in a large pan or wok. Add garlic and ginger and stir-fry for 30 seconds until fragrant. Add mixed vegetables and cook until crisp-tender, about 4-5 minutes. Add grilled chicken and toss to heat through. Season with tamari and rice vinegar. Serve over brown rice and garnish with sesame seeds and sliced green onions. Meal: 575 cal | 36 g protein | 15 g fiber
Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
Taboo habit millions do behind closed doors shockingly linked to DEMENTIA
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Daily Mail
3 hours ago
- Daily Mail
I was born with both male and female 'attributes'... here's the harsh reality of my dating life
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Eventually, she was told she was intersex, which is when someone has 'physical sex characteristics, including sexual anatomy, reproductive organs, or chromosomes, that don't fit typical definitions of male or female.' A woman who was born intersex has lifted a lid on the realities of dating while having 'both male and female attributes' Siera Arena, 27, from Lexington, Kentucky , grew up believing she was a perfectly normal girl. But at age 16, she began to notice that she was 'different' from her peers She still hadn't started her period or gone through puberty, and she began to develop 'symptoms of menopause.' She's seen as a kid 'Being intersex basically means that you don't fall on the binary for biological sex and can have both male and female attributes or characteristics,' she explained. 'In my case, I was born externally female, but I have XY chromosomes and instead of developing ovaries or testes, I had what are called streak (sterile) gonads, which don't produce the typical sex hormones needed to reach sexual maturity. 'It was a pretty jarring realization to have. You grow up planning your life around these societal norms and so when you find out that you're different and it will impact how you have relationships or start a family it can really reshape how you see everything and your future as a young person.' When it comes to finding love, Siera said she doesn't usually bring up the fact that she's intersex 'until the topic of having kids comes up.' 'I can't conceive naturally and that's definitely something I like to be open about when having these types of conversations while dating,' she explained. Siera admitted that she used to get really nervous about how she would tell her significant other, but now, she's realized it's not that 'big of a deal.' 'When I was still dating men it was something that I thought about a lot more, but now that I date women, it's really not as big of a deal as it used to feel for me when I was younger,' she added. Siera is extremely open about her journey online, but she's unfortunately been subjected to a slew of cruel comments. She brought it up during a checkup with her doctor, who ran a series of tests and discovered her uterus and ovaries hadn't developed correctly. Eventually, she was told she was intersex 'Being intersex basically means that you don't fall on the binary for biological sex and can have both male and female attributes or characteristics,' she explained 'There are definitely some haters in the comments which can primarily be explained by ignorance,' she said in response to the trolls. 'Not a lot of people know what intersex is or means, so it makes sense people will try to invalidate something they don't understand. 'I know that I was born the way I am for a reason and I'm excited to see how that manifests, so I don't let hate comments bring me down.' While Siera felt ashamed by her differences at first, she has since come to love her body. 'As I've gotten older, I've continually strengthened my ability to not care what others think,' she stated. 'This has helped me a lot in building my confidence in speaking about being intersex. The more I talk about it openly with others, the easier it becomes to stand in who I am confidently. 'I find it really comforting to have a better understanding of who I am and what it means to be Intersex. When it comes to finding love, Siera said she doesn't usually bring up the fact that she's intersex 'until the topic of having kids comes up' While Siera felt ashamed by her differences at first, she has since come to love her body 'It's nice to be able to connect the dots on things that make me unique and different and knowing the words to describe my condition has helped me to foster a community with other intersex people online.' In the end, she said she hopes that others who were 'born different' feel inspired by her story. 'There is a lot of power in having this unique perspective we have on life thanks to being born differently,' she gushed. 'Talk to your friends and family about it and become more comfortable sharing your story with others, because it can make a huge difference in everyone's lives.'
