Why it's perfectly normal (and good, even) to question what you do for a living

Fast Company

20 hours ago

When my daughter was 2 years old, she declared she was going to be a doctor. At first, I chalked it up to toddler enthusiasm, but as the years passed, her certainty never wavered. At 7, she is still as sure as ever. Watching her confidence in her future is both heartwarming and, if I'm honest, a little bewildering, because I never had that kind of clarity. While some people seem to know their path from the start, I didn't fully understand what I wanted to do with my life until I was almost 40.
For years, I thought something was wrong with me for not having a clear, unwavering passion. But I've come to see that questioning, evolving, and pivoting are not signs of failure; they're part of growth. In fact, reexamining our careers in midlife is not just normal—it's a healthy and expected part of development. The idea that we should have everything figured out by our 30s (or even our 40s and beyond) is a myth that ignores how we evolve as people over time. So if you're feeling uncertain about what comes next, consider it an opportunity rather than a crisis.
Why it's normal to question your path in midlife
Developmentally speaking, midlife is a natural time for reevaluation. Psychologist Erik Erikson identified this stage as one of 'generativity vs. stagnation,' where people seek to create meaningful contributions in their work, families, and communities. This is a time when many individuals begin asking themselves questions like, 'Is what I'm doing making a difference?' or 'Am I spending my time in a way that truly matters to me?' These questions are not just existential musings—they are signposts for change and growth.
Beyond Erikson, adult development theorists such as Robert Kegan and Daniel Levinson have explored how our internal meaning-making systems evolve over time. Kegan's theory of adult development suggests that we move through different stages of self-authorship, shifting from external definitions of success (such as societal expectations or familial approval) to a more internalized, self-directed sense of purpose. Similarly, Levinson's work on the 'seasons of life' describes midlife as a period of transition where individuals reassess their careers, relationships, and priorities, often leading to transformative change.
Many of us made career choices in our early 20s—at a time when we had far less life experience. The work that once felt like the right fit may no longer align with who we are today. Perhaps we followed a career path out of practicality, societal expectations, or a narrow understanding of our own strengths. But as we gather more knowledge, experiences, and wisdom, it makes sense that our perspectives shift. Rather than seeing this questioning as a problem, we should recognize it as a signal that we are evolving.
External factors can also play a role in prompting career reflection. Life changes such as becoming a parent, caring for aging parents, health challenges, or simply gaining a new perspective after years in the workforce can all lead to a reevaluation of priorities. The rise of remote work, the gig economy, and shifting industry demands mean that career paths today are less linear than they were for previous generations. What used to be considered a 'job for life' has given way to a more dynamic, adaptable approach to work.
What to do if you're seeking clarity
If you're questioning your career path, here are some ways to explore your next steps with curiosity and intention:
I will continue to shout this from the rooftops! Interrogate what truly matters to you at this stage of life. Are you craving more creativity, impact, autonomy, or balance? Often, when dissatisfaction creeps in, it's because there's a misalignment between our values and our daily work. Take time to reflect on what is most important to you now—not what was important when you first started your career.
Pay attention to the tasks or conversations that make you feel engaged and alive. What aspects of your current or past roles have brought you joy? Sometimes the clues to a fulfilling career change are already present in your daily life, waiting to be noticed. Journaling about your best work experiences can help identify patterns and strengths that you might want to build upon.
Hire a coach
This isn't a sales pitch. I'm suggesting this, because I see firsthand how transformational coaching can be. A skilled coach can help you uncover patterns, challenge limiting beliefs, and create a vision for your next chapter that is aligned with who you are becoming. Coaching is not about giving you answers—it's about helping you ask better questions, gain clarity, and take action in a way that feels authentic to you. If you're feeling stuck, working with a coach can be an invaluable investment in your future.
Experiment with small shifts
You don't have to quit your job overnight to explore a new direction. Consider small experiments—volunteering, taking a class, freelancing, or exploring side projects that align with your interests. These lower-risk explorations allow you to test new possibilities without the pressure of an immediate, all-in commitment.
Talk to people who inspire you
Reach out to those who are doing work that intrigues you. Informational interviews, networking conversations, or simply reconnecting with people whose careers you admire can provide insight and inspiration. Learning from others' journeys can help clarify what resonates with you and what might be worth exploring further.
Embrace the uncertainty
Not knowing what's next can be uncomfortable, but it's also a space where new possibilities emerge. Many people rush to find an answer simply to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty, but allowing yourself time to explore can lead to more fulfilling choices in the long run. Trust that clarity will come through exploration and action, not just overthinking.
The upside of not having it all figured out
Rather than seeing midlife career questioning as a crisis, consider it a pivot point—an opportunity to align your work with the person you've become. The most fulfilling careers are not those we decide on once and never revisit, but those that evolve with us over time. Research shows that people who make intentional career changes in midlife often experience greater satisfaction and engagement in their work because they are acting in alignment with their authentic selves.
So if you find yourself asking, 'What do I want to be when I grow up?' at 36, 44, 51, or beyond—congratulations. You're right on time. The best careers are not about having all the answers, but about staying open to the journey, embracing change, and allowing yourself to grow into new possibilities. Instead of fearing the question, welcome it. It's a sign that you're paying attention to what truly matters—and that's a powerful thing.