Fiona Gratzer: A chance encounter on an island off Malaysia changed the trajectory of my life

Irish Examiner

15-05-2025

January 1991, my friend Meike and I were backpacking around the world. In Malaysia, on route to Australia, we decided to park ourselves for a week on Langkawi Island – just because we could. We were young, free, I was 24.
It's a very naturally beautiful island, stunning beaches – lots of monkeys, spectacular. We booked into a remote beach hut, not knowing Langkawi had only two hours electricity a day, no hot water, no alcohol!
The beach hut had a bar. One afternoon sitting in from the sun, playing cards, drinking coconut water, a taxi pulls up – the biggest action of the last three days: OMG, who's coming?!
The door opened, out stepped a tall gorgeous man, an absolute Adonis. We were agog, our necks spinning 360 degrees. The other door opened, a girl stepped out – also gorgeous. We went from elated to deflated inside 30 seconds!
They checked in. He walked one way, she the other – we were totally confused.
When the electricity came on, everybody would come to our beach hut to watch the CNN news – the Gulf War had only started days earlier. So later that evening, 14 of us gathered around the TV, very intimate, he was there too: Uwe, he was Austrian.
We discovered he'd only met the girl in the airport – going to the same place, they'd shared a taxi. Uwe and I hit it off. We kept spending time together, so much time. We didn't kiss for a few days but there was this undercurrent of huge attraction, obvious for everyone to see, for us to feel.
I resisted for a while. I didn't want anything upending my plans – free, single, I was looking for adventure, to travel the world. I wasn't looking for complications, falling in love.
From our first kiss I was in love, an unstoppable love. We didn't know each other long, or well, but we had a deep connection. Love hits you, and you know. I'd never felt anything so profound, where I was besotted and he was too.
And yet I didn't see it then as long-term. Our paths had crossed when we were going in separate directions. He was heading back to Europe – we were heading in the opposite direction to Australia. We parted in Thailand three weeks after first meeting, we were both crying…
I had it in my mind to get over it. I told him I was travelling to Sydney – when I didn't know. I'd stay with my cousin, Paul Quinn, who I'd no address or phone number for at that stage. There were no mobiles, Internet, email then – no way of contacting each other.
In Sydney six weeks later, the phone rang. It was Uwe. He'd rung every Quinn in Sydney! I was so excited. He said he loved me, wanted to see me – how would I feel if he came to see me?
This was the turning point, that phone call – Uwe's question. I knew I was making a life-changing decision. If I said yes, the relationship would go to another level. Saying no would be its death-knell.
I realised the magnitude of saying yes – it's a long way to travel, Vienna to Sydney, for a date! I knew I had a good guy. I jumped in, said 'absolutely'. Imagine saying no to something where you have intense feelings!
But love can bring fear: you're very vulnerable in love. I was thrilled, flattered he wanted to see me – but scared too.
He had a two-week ticket. Back then it cost a fortune to fly to Australia. After the two weeks I wanted him to stay longer. In the British Airways office in Sydney, we begged the girl to change his flight. She said 'it's so obvious you're in love, I can't let this get in the way – we'll change it'.
There were more moments of serendipity, like an opening up, like fate – we were being carried along. We married in May 1992. It happened so quickly, it all felt so right.
We're coming up to the 10th anniversary of Uwe's death. He died in a motorbike accident…
I've chosen our moment of meeting to talk about. It brings joy. And because the important impact in my life is the impact of our life together. We were married 23 years.
I feel very grateful for all the gifts Uwe has given me, left me. I look back at his life with me, with our two children, and everything we created as a couple, as being really magical. I'm not saying we didn't have arguments – we did.
Being Austrian, he introduced me to another life. I feel so blessed – I'd never imagined how meaningful this extra layer to my life would become. It's another beautiful room I can go into. I've maintained great relationships with Uwe's friends and family. I've encouraged my children to do the same. Austria is very much an extension of who we are.
Being on a remote island in the middle of nowhere that day changed the whole trajectory of my life. It showed me not to live with regret, but with adventure in your heart.
I celebrate Uwe and all he brought. We enhanced each other's lives. We elevated each other up.
Certified nutritionist, qualified personal trainer, integrative health coach and Unislim CEO Fiona Gratzer's new book, The 30-Day Diet (€19.99), has over 70 delicious recipes and is a science-backed guide to making weight-loss easy and great for your gut.
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