Valentine's Day may be the world's most hated holiday – but I won't be joining the pile-on

The Guardian

13-02-2025

It's pure commercialism. It was invented by greeting card companies. It is a cynical attempt to commodify love. It's exclusionary. It's sappy. It fosters misery. It's completely unnecessary. And, above all, I like it.
Valentine's Day, perhaps the world's most hated holiday. Marked each year by intense pressure, overhyped marketing campaigns, and all-too-often dashed hopes. But get this, maybe it's nice. Did you think about that? No, you didn't. You only think about yourself. No wonder you're so lonely this Valentine's Day. Sorry, sorry, you pushed me and I went way too far. I apologise unreservedly. Please, allow me to explain.
There are some criticisms of Valentine's Day that hold no water for me. Oh, it's a made-up holiday, is it? Unlike all those other organic holidays that grow straight out of the ground? You know the King's birthday holiday isn't actually on the King's birthday, yeah? Also, that kings are a thing we made up when we wanted to convince an odd man to wear a funny hat. It's pure capitalism – yes, fair cop, it absolutely is maintained and then exploited by capitalism every year, not unlike – and hold on to your funny little hat, Mr King – every single other thing in our society. It becomes incumbent upon us to think of ways to divorce the day from this fact, to express love for those around us in ways that don't require pointless purchases. (Also, I am sorry for using divorce as a verb in an article about Valentine's Day. I'm really just sticking the boot in, aren't I?)
Then, there's the most annoying criticism, the one probably already being typed out in the comments section by someone who read the headline, skipped the article and raced to make this tedious brag. We don't need Valentine's Day, we celebrate each other every day. Firstly, gross. Also, yuck. Placing the nasty mental image you have given me aside, may I say, la-dee-freaking-da for you, oh perfect couple, but some of us can get a little grumbly in the mornings or a little too tied up in our work every so often and it's nice to hand over a fistful of flowers and tell someone that you really do love them and it is an everlasting surprise that they can still find a way to love you, considering all the things you do and the person you are.
That is not to say that I believe Valentine's Day has to be celebrated in a traditional way. You don't need flowers or chocolates. You don't need a card. You don't even need to be celebrating romantic love. For years now, we've seen popularised celebrations of 'Galentine's Day', where women will express their love for their close friends. It seems like a very wholesome and beautiful thing. I have to cop to a little jealousy – for such affection to be shared between modern men we usually have to both be present for a particularly beautifully worked goal at a sporting event.
All I am saying is that in a world where everything is pretty dark and awful most of the time, and where it is entirely possible to take a cynical and dismissive view of just about every attempt made by major brands to make you feel an emotion for their eventual profit, I like the idea that we can have one day where, in our own little way, however we choose to do it, and whomever we choose to do it with, we can say that I am grateful for you, I love you and I feel very lucky to be able to experience that love.
For myself, I am very lucky to find myself, against all odds, in a life filled with love. I have spent my share of Valentine's Day looking in the restaurant window from the outside, and I feel so grateful to have someone in my life that makes every day feel special, and as such deserves at least one special day to celebrate that.
Now, do we feel like this writing article counts as a present or do I actually need to go and get something?
James Colley is a comedy writer from Sydney. His debut novel, The Next Big Thing, is out now