Servant Leadership Is Broken—Here's What To Do Instead

Forbes

9 hours ago

Cartoon of person watering tree with employees
Robert K. Greenleaf coined the term 'servant leadership' in 1970, advocating for a leadership style in which leaders prioritize the needs of their team. While the idea itself predates Greenleaf's work, he is credited with popularizing the concept in modern business culture, shifting the focus from self-serving leadership models to people-first cultures. This transition to a more empathetic, service-oriented approach was a welcome departure from the top-down leadership styles that had long dominated the corporate world.
At first glance, servant leadership sounds both noble and compelling. And in many ways, it is. The notion of dedicating oneself to helping others achieve their full potential, demonstrating empathy by genuinely caring about employees' well-being, and actively seeking to understand their needs and perspectives is admirable. In practice, it has yielded tangible benefits, including higher employee engagement, improved employee retention, enhanced team cohesion, and even increased employee creativity. When done right, it works wonders.
But here's the catch: servant leadership, when taken too far, has a downside that often goes unnoticed. Over time, the concept can morph into self-sacrifice. Leading through service can sometimes cause leaders to lose sight of themselves. They are encouraged to prioritize others' needs above their own, often at the expense of their mental and physical well-being. This approach is not without consequences: burnout, declining productivity, higher turnover, and absenteeism inevitably follow.
For women and marginalized leaders, this dynamic can be even more dangerous. From a very young age, many of us are socialized to prioritize the needs of others—be accommodating, nurturing, and agreeable—while suppressing our own. This pattern plays out in both our personal and professional lives, where women are often expected to adjust their schedules and make compromises when family responsibilities collide with work.
Sound familiar? You start saying 'yes' to everything. You overextend yourself to 'support the team,' putting your own needs on the back burner because, well, 'not everything is about me.' Over time, what began as a commitment to servant leadership can easily slip into people-pleasing behavior on an unsustainable scale. Despite the growing presence of women in leadership roles, women still lag behind men in many industries. When leadership is framed as constant service, and that service is demanded at home and work, it's no wonder women leaders are burning out. Forty-three percent say they're burned out, far higher than the 31% of men at their level.
Compassionate leadership includes yourself in the circle of care. It recognizes that sustainable leadership isn't about endless self-sacrifice; it's about showing up as your fullest, healthiest self so you can truly support others.
So, how do you make that shift? Here are four small shifts toward compassionate and sustainable leadership that you can make to show up for your team and yourself.
Stop being available all the time
You don't have to be on-call every day and night to be a supportive manager. Set clear expectations around your availability, both in your calendar and your communication. For example: block 'focus hours' on your calendar where you won't take calls or respond to emails. Add recurring blocks for rest, exercise, or even unstructured creative thinking. Intentional calendar blocking ensures your needs have the same weight and legitimacy you give to others. When you protect your time and you aren't always available, this signals to your team that boundaries are more than just acceptable: they're a healthy part of work.
Practice empathy with edges
You can listen deeply and still make a call your teammate doesn't agree with. Compassionate leadership means being present with your team's needs, but not taking on all of them as your own. You can try saying, 'I hear you, and I care. Here's what I can offer.' This keeps you grounded in empathy while reinforcing that leadership doesn't mean absorbing (or solving) every problem personally.
Ask what your team needs directly
Many servant leaders jump straight into problem solving mode. But often, your team doesn't need a fix; they need a listening ear. Before diving in with a solution, ask: 'What would feel most helpful from me right now?' This helps you offer support while also preventing unnecessary energy drain.
Define and communicate your responsibilities
When roles are unclear, leaders often end up taking on more responsibilities than they should. After all, servant leaders love being helpful. But before taking on extra work, take time to clarify what's truly in your lane and what's not. Then, name that with your team. For example: 'I'm here to be a sounding board through the decision-making process, but the decision is ultimately yours to make, not mine.' This builds ownership on their end and lightens the emotional load on yours.
Let's rebrand servant leadership as compassionate leadership, where compassion is directed both outwardly toward others and inwardly toward ourselves. You cannot be an effective leader if you aren't taking care of yourself first. The familiar adage from airplane safety demonstrations holds: put your oxygen mask on before helping others. You can't help others if you're running on empty, and your team will notice when you're burnt out and not showing up every day as your authentic self.