Confession time: I am a Newcastle fan who wants Sunderland promoted
I am a Newcastle United season-ticket holder, and I want Sunderland to win the Championship play-off final. There you go; I said it. Two seemingly mutually exclusive states of being and mind rolled into one funky, highly improbable sentence.
I can hear your best John McEnroe impressions from my keyboard. You think I am either a) yanking your chain, or b) … well, there is no b). I cannot be serious, right? No self-respecting Newcastle fan could wish anything but a hundred lifetimes of infinite doom on the Mackems.
Except that I am deadly serious, and typing the words brings not a lick of shame or guilt.
I know a Wearside promotion party is sub-optimal. Immediately post Dan Ballard's added-time-in-extra-time semi-final winner, I carried out a scientific and objective survey of the various Newcastle-based WhatsApp groups in which I lurk. The consensus? Largely what you would expect of emotionally irrational football supporters when it comes to their nearest and (not so) dearest. Let them crash and burn. Throw open the gates to Netflix and record every breathing moment of a slide into Northern League oblivion.
Let their masses of empty seats continue to pinken in the sunlight. Re-sign Jack Rodwell on nothing short of six figures a week. Expletives may have been used.
I can relate to all of those sentiments, but they are not overriding for me. Perhaps I am naive though, as others holding my view were few and far between. However, I miss the Tyne-Wear derbies – properly miss them – and all that comes with them. That night, while those down the road basked in Ballard-based euphoria, I suggested via WhatsApp that to shy away from those games was cowardice, and I stand by that now.
True, I am too young to bear the scars of May 1990's Division Two play-off semi-final defeat over two legs, and for some the anguish of those four days still feels recent. But come on. Get over it.
#OnThisDay in 1990: @NUFC 0-2 @SunderlandAFC
⚽️ @marco_ten #SAFC | #HawayTheLads
pic.twitter.com/4WPAOaDgY0 https://t.co/0ipaYIfkMQ
— Roker Report (@RokerReport) May 16, 2025
To clarify: I will celebrate not one jot if Sunderland beat Sheffield United at Wembley. My late grandma, the sweetest of Christian ladies who spent her life in Wallsend and Morpeth, may have wished success upon both the region's biggest sides, but that is not me.
I will swerve the media coverage of any Sunderland triumph with the same rigour as Trent Alexander-Arnold avoiding Liverpool city centre. But the evil is necessary.
The alternative is playing Sheffield United, home and away. Two perfectly respectable fixtures against a perfectly respectable team. But also, with no disrespect to Sheffield United, meh.
Those games will draw little to no attention, measuring on the anticipation scales somewhere between the cricket club's AGM and a chippy tea. Sure, I will probably watch and, hopefully, enjoy. But chances are they will live short in the memory.
The derby on the other hand … yes, please. Who doesn't want a stomach-twisting week of nerves topped with 90 minutes of lunchtime agony? Twice.
For the first time since 2016, it's the TYNE-WEAR DERBY. Sunderland vs. Newcastle.
A game of football which is so much more than just a game of football. ❤️🖤
📹 Two Tribes/BBC pic.twitter.com/t3qqr2dhi7
— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers) January 6, 2024
How I long for those away days, the mandated stupid-o'clock arrival on Barrack Road to jump on conspicuously yellow buses for the slow 15-mile trudge down the A184.
I yearn to be held back after the final whistle for a disproportionate amount of time because grown adults cannot act their age.
Yes, there is only ecstasy or agony, bragging rights or absolute despair. But my word, what a way to feel alive. If you are a football fan and don't want such occasions, what on earth are you in it for? Take the risk and earn the reward.
It is nearly a decade since Newcastle and Sunderland met in the league. During that period, we have had to find contentment in a one-sided FA Cup victory on Wearside last January.
They rolled out the red carpet for us that day. Imagine being in the meeting at which club executives waved through Newcastle's request to decorate the Black Cats Bar in zebra print.
I cannot hide from the fact that the two clubs look very different to how they did during that 1-1 draw on Tyneside in March 2016. Although United were relegated two months later, ownership and expectation has since changed massively. What was once even sparring – albeit Sunderland did win six derbies on the trot pre-2016 – has been replaced by an expectation that black and white will dominate red and white. For Newcastle, it is perceivably a no-win scenario. Either business as expected or an embarrassing dropping of points.
Except that is not how rivalry operates. Victories will be just as sugary; defeats as sour as they come. So yes, I am still a Newcastle United season-ticket holder, and I still want Sunderland to win the play-off final.
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