
Why grandparents are more important than ever
is a senior correspondent for Vox, where she covers American family life, work, and education. Previously, she was an editor and writer at the New York Times. She is also the author of three novels, including the New York Times bestseller Outlawed.
Grandparents today are more active and able to play with their kids, experts say. lemono via Getty Images
This story originally appeared in Kids Today, Vox's newsletter about kids, for everyone. Sign up here for future editions.
We often hear about the isolation of contemporary American family life — the parents forced to go it alone, the kids stuck inside, the disappearing village. But there's another trend pushing American childhood in a more communal direction: Grandparents are playing a larger and more enduring role in kids' lives.
For starters, there's a demographic shift at play. As birth rates fall, the average number of grandchildren per grandparent has fallen as well. Susan Miller, a 67-year-old grandma in the Washington, DC, area, told me that while her mom had 13 granddaughters, she has four grandchildren. Having fewer grandkids 'gives you more time with them,' she said.
Longer life expectancy also means kids actually get more years with their grandparents than they used to, even though people are having kids later in life, according to Ashton Verdery, a sociologist at Penn State University. These trends are 'likely leading to deeper relationships between grandchildren and grandparents,' Verdery said.
Miller and her husband spend the summers in Minnesota with their grandkids, cooking, crafting, roughhousing, and putting on plays and puppet shows. Her 11-year-old granddaughter has 'my husband really wrapped around her finger,' she said.
'He'll dress up,' Miller said. 'He'll pretend to be a ballerina.'
Beyond participating in impromptu ballet performances, grandparents provide a host of benefits for kids. Across cultures, spending more time with grandmothers and grandfathers is linked to better educational and mental health outcomes, Verdery said. They can also offer kids a fresh perspective and sometimes come at child care with a more relaxed outlook than their stressed-out adult children, said Susan Kelley, a professor emerita of nursing at Georgia State University who has studied grandparents raising grandchildren.
But grandparents are also increasingly stepping in to plug holes in America's crumbling child care system, a role they're not always excited about filling. Experts say policymakers should embrace reforms that allow grandmothers and grandfathers to spend time with their grandkids because they want to — not because their families have no other choice.
Why grandparent relationships are changing
Close relationships between grandparents and grandchildren are far from new. 'Intergenerational caregiving by grandparents, especially grandmothers, reaches back to the dawn of our species,' Tobi Adejumo, a doctoral candidate at the University of Colorado Denver who has studied grandparent care, told me. Multigenerational households have long been common in many communities, with Asian American, Black, and Latino families all more likely than white ones to have grandparents and grandkids under one roof.
Still, the idea that grandparents used to provide a lot of child care isn't necessarily accurate, as Faith Hill reports at The Atlantic. In the early US, people often became grandparents while still raising their own young kids, limiting how much time they could spend with grandkids.
But today, smaller families and later childbirth mean grandparents are less likely to still be actively parenting. While the falling birth rate may be bad news for older adults who want lots of grandkids to spoil (or for those who end up not having grandchildren at all), it also means grandmothers and grandfathers have more quality time to spend with each child. While white grandfathers born in 1880 had an average of nine grandchildren, grandpas born in 1960 have fewer than six. The drop for Black men has been even steeper, from around 11 to around six.
The way grandparents and grandchildren relate to each other is also shifting. Older adults are more active than they once were, making them more able to play with their grandkids, said Donna Butts, executive director of Generations United, a nonprofit that works to connect children and older people.
They're also richer — prior to the 1960s, older age groups had the highest rates of poverty, but now they have the highest rates of wealth, Verdery said. So not only can grandparents buy their grandkids presents, but they can also take them on outings and travel to visit them more easily.
Meanwhile, skyrocketing child care costs and parents' increasingly demanding jobs have led to an increased need for help from grandma and grandpa, said Jennifer Utrata, a sociologist at the University of Puget Sound who studies grandparenting. More grandparents are responding to this need by providing child care on a regular basis, sometimes stepping in for multiple days per week, a phenomenon some call 'intensive grandparenting.'
While grandparent care has historically been more common in communities of color and immigrant communities, it's now on the rise among white, middle-class families, Utrata said. One 2023 poll found that more than 40 percent of working parents relied on their children's grandmother for child care, Hill reports.
Miller, the DC grandma, often cares for her grandchildren in the summer and on visits, including staying with them while their parents took a two-week trip. Her granddaughter becomes 'like a child, almost' rather than a grandchild when her parents are away, Miller said. 'She's comfortable with us.'
Grandparents aren't a policy solution
In addition to taking some pressure off parents, grandparents can have a big impact on kids' worldview, experts say. They can serve as role models but may also be less focused on work than parents in the middle of their careers, and more able to make kids the center of attention, Kelley said.
Spending time with grandparents can also transform a child's view of aging. People who have close relationships with grandparents will often say they 'don't look at older people as icky' but rather as 'vibrant,' Butts said.
Of course, grandparents can also offer high-quality, trusted care at a time when that's hard to come by. But regular caregiving can also be hard on grandparents, even if they're in good health. The demands of intensive grandparenting fall disproportionately on grandmothers, who can struggle to balance their own needs with those of their grandkids, Utrata said.
Some grandparents retire early to help with grandchildren, which can be a financial strain, especially in low-income families, Adejumo said. Many grandparents pay for necessities like food and diapers while watching their grandkids, adding to the financial stress.
Vice President JD Vance has suggested that grandparents could 'help out a little bit more' as a way of addressing the high cost of day care. But 'we should not be foisting our child care challenges on an older generation,' Utrata said. Grandparents want to help out, but they want it to be a choice, not 'the only way that their daughters are going to be able to work for pay.'
Affordable, accessible child care would help grandparents be involved in their grandkids' lives without pressure or exhaustion, Utrata said. Paid parental leave would also help since many grandparents are called in to be with babies when their parents have to return to work, Adejumo said.
In California and other states, grandparents can receive subsidies for taking care of grandchildren, but they are often too low to cover the real cost of care, Adejumo said. One sentiment she's heard a lot from grandparents: 'I would really appreciate a living wage.'
There's a growing recognition in American society that making sure parents are healthy and financially stable also benefits kids. Now, experts say, it's time to extend that understanding to grandparents, too.
What I'm reading
The Trump administration's tariffs are indeed hitting baby goods, with stroller manufacturer UPPABaby announcing price hikes. Trump, meanwhile, says all costs are down, except for 'the thing you carry the babies around in.' He also says tariffs might mean American kids have 'two dolls instead of 30.'
Federal grants for STEM education and mental health support in schools have been terminated, which advocates say compromises education and services for kids.
My older kid and I just read the first book in the Lightfall series, about a young girl searching for her missing grandfather, a pig-wizard, in the mysterious realm she calls home.
From my inbox
Thanks so much to all of you who responded to my question a few weeks back: What do the kids in your life want to be when they grow up? What do they want to do in the world? If you'd still like to weigh in, we've created a Google Form to make it easier – feel free to share! And as always, you can still reach me anytime at anna.north@vox.com.

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
This Mountaintop Home in Switzerland Is a Modern Take on a Classic Alpine Chalet
You don't need a massive plot of land or over-the-top design to make a powerful statement in real estate—especially not in the Swiss Alps. This boxy, three-story home and its detached carport cut striking figures among the dense greenery of the Alpine landscape during the summer and the glimmering white snow during winter. The dark-stained larch wood siding will only get darker over time through exposure to the elements, while the steep pitch of the solar-equipped standing seam metal roof helps keep snow from piling up and wood slats over some windows offer privacy while maintaining the views from inside. More from Robb Report Art Dealer Barbara Gladstone's Elegant Manhattan Row House Lists for $12 Million A Carefully Reimagined Midcentury Oasis in the Pacific Palisades Lists for $25 Million This $24 Million Boston Home Doubles as an Art Gallery Designed by the firm Montalba Architects as a modern homage to a classic architectural trope, the home is built into the hillside and angled to take in the best view of the 10,000-foot-tall Grand Muveran. Drawing inspiration from the shape of traditional chalets, the residence has been rethought with an open floor plan, vast picture windows, and clean-lined midcentury-inspired furnishings. Constructed over just 10 months, Montalba worked with a local builder to complete the property. All of the millwork, including the angular staircase, was also done in collaboration with local carpenters and cabinet makers. Many of the furnishings came from Switzerland as well, with additional pieces curated from throughout Europe and California. RELATED: A London-Based Designer Brought Italian Style to This Pint-Sized Apartment in the Swiss Alps It's a style of sourcing that mirrors the other work of Montalba, an international firm with offices in Los Angeles, New York, and Lausanne. The company was founded back in 2004 by the Swiss-American architect David Montalba, and it draws on Swiss precision and California Modernism to create properties that evoke both styles. Modest in size at just 2,600 square feet, the Alpine abode takes advantage of lighter woods and neutral tones that contrast with the dark, moodier exterior. The main living spaces are on the middle floor and include a living room with a Nero Marquina marble fireplace and a cozy Ligne Roset sofa and armchairs. In the dining area, the tables is from Moyard, and the light-filled kitchen opens to a small patio on the home's east side. The top floor is largely for sleeping. The primary suite has a covered balcony and private bath, and two guest rooms share an additional bathroom with a shower sheathed in the same marble used on the downstairs fireplace. The lowest level, which is embedded into the mountainside, has a studio space with a separate entrance, as well as a small sauna and storage of Robb Report The 10 Priciest Neighborhoods in America (And How They Got to Be That Way) In Pictures: Most Expensive Properties Click here to read the full article.
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
‘Walking Alongside' American Designer Claire McCardell in New Book
'Good fashion earns its right to be remembered.' Those words weren't just spoken by Claire McCardell, but she lived up to them too. Elizabeth Evitts Dickinson's new book, 'Claire McCardell: The Designer Who Set Women Free,' spells that out again and again. Progressive as a working woman, McCardell helped to pioneer American fashion, after studying at Parsons and living in Paris for a stretch. Her specialty was practical, stylish, affordable clothes that women could move through their days. McCardell's breakthrough look in 1938 was the Monastic dress, which flattered a range of body types. More from WWD Louis Vuitton Names Jeremy Allen White as Brand Ambassador Kering Eyewear Acquires Italian Manufacturer Lenti LVMH and Google Executives Talk Agentic AI, Cybersecurity and Navigating Volatility Ballet flats, separates, the shirtwaist dress, spaghetti straps on evening gowns, strapless swimsuits and athletic-friendly designs were among her creations. She also made leotards popular. As McCardell told Betty Friedan in her magazine writing days, 'You have to design for the lives American women lead today.' While many associate sportswear with the second generations designers like Calvin Klein, Halston and Donna Karan, the author noted how McCardell forged the path. Although her label was not carried forward after her death in 1958 at the age of 52, Dickinson said the lack of the magnitude of her influence was more due to 'the societal clapback about women being at the forefront of the industry. We've forgotten a lot of those women's names unfairly,' she said. Dickinson said, 'She never wanted to be out of the trenches. She enjoyed the work. Even when she was famous enough, well-off enough and partner in her firm, it was suggested that she take a step back, [but] that never appealed to her. She really was an inventor and an artist.' As much about McCardell's life as it is about her career, the Simon & Schuster biography will be released June 17. Dickinson will speak Thursday at a ticketed event at the New York Historical, which will be followed by a book launch at the Maryland Center for History and Culture on June 17 and an appearance at the Frenchtown Bookshop in Frenchtown, N.J., on June 24. Reading McCardell's writing, transcribing McCardell's archival letters and 'triangulating' them to cultural events and geographic locations enabled Dickinson to hear her voice and visualize her life at that time. Esoteric as that might sound, the author manages to relay McCardell's upbringing, career, marriage and pursuits with historical footnotes and entertaining asides. 'I wanted it to feel like you were walking alongside McCardell and not like you were spending time with a biographer telling you about her.' Pragmatism was paramount to all that she did. Dickinson said, 'She always had the lived experience of the woman in mind so that everything she was designing had a reason. She really wanted to be remembered for making clothes that changed people's lives and helped women to be more autonomous, ambitious, comfortable and confident.' Those reasons were aplenty such as creating a detachable hood to replace the hassle of traveling on an airplane with a hat, designing pockets to stash fidgety hands when speaking to her boss and generously cut dresses to allow subway riders to grab a straphanger without tearing her clothes. 'She was always thinking about the reality of living and moving through the world as a woman,' Dickinson said. While working at what is now known as the Maryland Center for History and Culture in the late 1990s, the author's first encounter with the designer was through an exhibition. Fresh out of college with no idea of who McCardell was or that she was one of the reasons behind much of what hangs in our closets, Dickinson said, 'I knew very little about the sportswear movement, and the women like Claire, who in the 1920s and '30s, were really building American fashion. I remember standing there in a really unfortunate suit that I'd been talked into buying by a salesperson. We've all been there. It doesn't fit. It's not comfortable. The color is trendy, but it's not good on you. And it didn't have pockets,' she recalled. 'I remember thinking, 'How did we go backward?'' Moreover, Dickinson questioned how the industry appears to have slid back again with men being installed as the creative directors of luxury houses — including Dior, Chanel and Gucci. But back to McCardell. What hooked the author was how McCardell's show made her question what women are expected to wear, why that is the case and who is dictating those mandates. 'Whose gaze are we prioritizing? Claire always prioritized the female gaze, the wearer,' Dickinson said. The fact that women were 'pretty much required' to wear wool swim stockings on public beaches in the 1920s to avoid the seeming indecency of bare legs, was news to the author. McCardell's daringness, as a teenager, to take her swim stockings off to take a plunge endeared her to the author. 'I loved that she was trying to push back on things that she thought were unreasonable,' Dickinson said. Another revelation in her research was just how difficult it was for a young single woman to maneuver her way around New York City without a male escort. 'I was fascinated to learn how art clubs and other places [like the Fashion Group International] emerged to support women like Claire and how Claire, in turn, tried to help other women throughout her career to find their footing in the city and in the industry,' she said. Readers will learn how the designer was at the nexus of a constellation of a lot of extraordinary women and entrepreneurs [like Elizabeth Hawes, Eleanor Lambert and Bonnie Cashin]. 'This really is the story of a group of women working together to build an industry,' Dickinson said. 'She was often years ahead of her time. She invented separates in 1934 and she kept at it, so that by the 1940s she got them out there. As one person I interviewed said, 'She is one of the most under appreciated, but important designers of the 20th century.' McCardell also approached her collection tactically. So much so that she once deconstructed a Vionnet dress that she bought at a Paris sample sale in the 1920s to get a better understanding of how it was made. That was all the more telling, given that American design students at that time were learning more about how to draw clothes than how they worked, Dickinson said. McCardell's personal archives include reams of letters from not just fans, the famous and customers. Amongst them was a lengthy handwritten one in which the writer said a McCardell suit failed her during an Italian vacation that she had saved up to go on for years. Dickinson said, 'I think she saved it to remind herself, who she worked for. She surely went back to [review] the design, to the manufacturer and to the fabric to figure out how to fix it.' When World War II called for rationing, McCardell made the most of every scrap of fabric for her designs, and used innovative aspects like mattress ticking and parachute materials that were left over from the military, Dickinson noted. At the request of Harper's Bazaar's editors Diana Vreeland and Carmel Snow, she created a design for American women whose lives had been upended with some pitching in with the war effort while also running their households. The 'Popover' dress in durable cotton that McCardell came up with had an oven mitt attached at the waist. More than 50,000 units of the New York made frock were sold in 1942. The designer was also a witness to history, having been one of the last designers to leave Paris before it fell to German troops. She also connected with leaders in the arts like Ernest Hemingway, and the actress Joan Crawford, who 'begged' the designer in letters to make clothes for her. And the artist Georgia O'Keefe wore her clothes. At heart, McCardell was an artist and an inventor, according to the author. To that end, the designer once said, 'I've always designed things I needed myself. It just turns out that other people need them too.' Best of WWD The Story Behind Jackie Kennedy's Cartier Watch: A Royal Gift With 'Traces and Clues of Her Life' Revealed Model and Hip Hop Fashion Pioneer Kimora Lee Simmons' Runway Career Through the Years [PHOTOS] Salma Hayek's Fashion Evolution Through the Years: A Red Carpet Journey [PHOTOS]

Business Insider
2 hours ago
- Business Insider
The 9 best men's dress shoes for stepping out in style and comfort
Dress shoes don't have to be stuffy or relegated to the odd wedding or other formal occasion you find yourself attending. They're actually a very versatile footwear category that can elevate your everyday style and still be appropriate for more formal occasions. Knowing what to look for in both the type of shoe and how they're made is key to finding a high-quality dress shoe within your budget. This guide highlights some of the best in dress shoes for men, from the least formal — loafers — to the most formal, wholecut Oxfords, with some others that range between these two. That is, brogue wingtips, dress boots, Bluchers, and monk straps. We've also included both a high-end Oxford from the legendary American brand Allen Edmonds that's worth the monetary investment, and a more budget-friendly pair from Florsheim, which are still manufactured with high standards using time-tested techniques. We've thoroughly tested these dress shoes that will have you looking sharp, feeling confident, and will last for years with a little TLC on your part. Best Oxford: Ace Marks Wholecut Oxford A wholecut Oxford offers one of the dressiest shoe options out there with its closed lacing system, refined profile, and sleek style that pairs well with everything from a tux to a business suit to more casual separates. Ace Marks offers an exceptional Plain Toe Wholecut Oxford, which the DTC brand handcrafts in Italy from a luxurious hand-dyed and burnished calfskin leather and includes key details like a leather lining, stacked leather heel, and Blake stitching so the shoes can be resoled when the time comes (although based on our testing these Oxfords that run true to size will last you years before you'll need it). Best for comfort: Cole Haan Zerogrand Remastered Wingtip Oxfords Cole Haan's Zerogrand Remastered Wingtip Oxfords masterfully combine the elevated style of wingtip Oxford dress shoes with the comfort of sneakers in one stunning package that doesn't require breaking in. I walked two miles in these straight out of the box and my feet felt fine, with no pinching, rubbing, or blisters — and they've only gotten more comfortable over longer wearing periods, including an eight-mile walk around Manhattan. Best Brogue: Beckett-Simonon Yates Oxfords The brogue dress shoe features perforated leather detailing, and whether it's a full brogue wingtip — with a point at the center of the toe cap and wings running along the sides — a half-brogue, with broughing at the cap toe, along the shoe's edges, and with a medallion, or a quarter brogue, which doesn't feature a medallion, these various iterations add visual appeal to your footwear. The Durant Oxfords are full-brogue wingtips handcrafted in Columbia under ethical conditions, feature full-grain Italian leather, gorgeous details and craftsmanship, break in easily, and are made to order, which allows the company to offer a superior shoe at a reasonable price. (Note: Beckett-Simonon shoes are made to order and include 150 steps in the manufacturing process, which means it can take between six to eight weeks for delivery, but it's worth the wait). Best Loafer: Marc Nolan Abe Penny Loafers Loafers, whether bit, tassel, or penny, are the warm weather shoes that offer an elegant way to dress up a casual outfit or make a suit seem a bit less stodgy, and the penny loafers from the DTC brand Marc Nolan do the job exceptionally well with 11 different options in eye-catching colorways and materials. They exude summer fun without losing a sense of sophistication thanks to their top-notch materials, like calfskin leather and sheepskin suede, and are easy to break in, very comfortable due to memory foam insoles, and can be worn with or without socks. Best Budget Dress Shoe: Florsheim Midtown Cap Toe Oxford Andrew Amelinckx Florsheim's Midtown cap toe Oxfords nicely balance price with quality that, like all the footwear I've tried from the brand, hold up well, with the bonus that they're really comfortable for all-day wear and are available at Famous Footwear. For $125 you get a great looking dress shoe made from leather sourced from environmentally responsible tanneries with Goodyear welted construction (meaning it can be resoled), plus tons of cushioning, and they'll hold up well for years if properly cared for. Best Luxury: Allen Edmonds Park Avenue Oxford The word iconic gets thrown around a lot, but in the case of American heritage brand Allen Edmonds and its Park Avenue cap toe Oxford, it's an apt description and while they're considered luxury, the craftsmanship and top-notch materials justify the cost. They handcraft these timeless dress shoes in Wisconsin using 212 steps, European calfskin, Goodyear welting, and cork insoles that mold to the shape of your foot over time, making for a refined pair of Oxfords that deliver a comfortable wearing experience, will last decades, and can be recrafted down the road. Best Dress Boot: Idrese Galahad Jodhpur boots Idrese is a direct-to-consumer shoe company that handcrafts its footwear in Spain, and while it specializes in letting the customer design their own shoes and boots — that's what I did with a pair of Jodhpurs that I absolutely love and fit my feet perfectly — the company also has ready to wear items like the Galahad jodhpurs. Idrese uses supple Italian calfskin leather, Goodyear welting, and a sleek profile for an elevated take on this boot style that includes a strap and buckle near the top. Best Derby: Moral Code Chase Derby Best Monk Strap: Thursday Boots the Saint Double Monk Strap With their rich history dating back centuries to their modern appeal as an alternative to less fashion-forward Oxfords, monk strap dress shoes — with their unique straps and buckles (one or two) rather than laces — look as good with a contemporary suit as they do with nice jeans, so they won't get dusty waiting for formal occasions to be worn. The DTC footwear brand Thursday Boots makes the Saint double-monk strap from sleek full-grain leather using Blake stitching, with straps that are sturdy, stay in place, and have a good range of adjustability for a tighter or looser fit — and all with a minimal break-in period. What to consider when shopping There are a few important factors to consider when looking for dress shoes that will last you years. The shoes should be made of high-quality leather rather than a synthetic material (unless you're morally opposed to it). The shoes should have either Goodyear welting or Blake stitching, rather than being cemented, as you see with sneaker construction. These two old-school techniques for attaching the upper to the sole, allow you to have them resoled down the line. FAQs What's the difference between Oxfords and Derbies? Oxford have closed lacing, meaning the part of the shoe called the quarters, where the laces go, are sewn under the vamp (front part of the shoe) making for a sleeker shoe that's considered more formal than Derbies. The latter type of shoe has open lacing, meaning the quarters are sewn over the vamp, which gives the shoes a more relaxed look and allows for greater ease of movement. How do I care for leather dress shoes? There are a few simple steps to keeping your dress shoes looking sharp. Depending on how often you wear them, you should shine them every few weeks if they get heavy use or every few months if you don't wear them as often. First, clean them with saddle soap, then use a moisturizing cream polish, and if you're looking for a high shine, use a wax polish. Here are the six you should use. Can dress shoes be resoled? Quality dress shoes should be made with either Goodyear welting or Blake stitching, two methods for attaching the sole to the upper. Both of these methods allow for a professional cobbler to resole your dress shoes. Are expensive dress shoes worth it? It depends on what your needs are and whether you're willing to invest the money. If you can afford to, you should buy a well-crafted, timeless style of dress shoe rather than a cheaper fast-fashion pair that uses glue instead of Goodyear welting or Blake stitching. A high-quality pair can last years, if not decades, if properly cared for, while cheaply made ones won't last nearly as long. How do I break in new dress shoes without pain? There are a few tricks you can use to break in new dress shoes. If you aren't in a big hurry you can do it over several days starting by wearing them indoors for 30 minutes or so and then over the next few days, wear them for incrementally longer periods, both inside and outside. Comfortable socks also help and if you know you're prone to getting blisters on certain parts of your feet, you can stick adhesive bandages on the problem spot until your new shoes become comfortable.