VAWG: Victim with 'hole in her face' says attacker blamed her

BBC News

29-01-2025

A woman who suffered a broken jaw and teeth after being assaulted by her ex-boyfriend said she was blamed by him for the attack."I went to the mirror. My teeth were hanging on by threads from my gums...I could hardly speak; I could only just use my lips. I said to him, 'Do you realise you have ruined my life?' and he said, 'You can thank yourself'."Eva Komuves was speaking at the launch of a new campaign aimed at ending violence against women and girls (VAWG). The Power to Change campaign aims to address the attitudes of men and boys towards women and girls in Northern Ireland.The campaign is being backed by the PSNI, the Department of Justice (DoJ), and the Stormont executive.
Warning: This content contains images and descriptions that some readers may find upsetting
Ms Komuves is a survivor of physical and psychological violence at the hands of her former partner, who has pleaded guilty to a number of charges and will be sentenced in February. She said her abuse didn't start with violence; it began with words."He was criticising my work, my hobbies, my daily routine, and my eating habits. He was controlling my circle of friends. He criticised the way I dressed.""When I raised it as an issue, he said I was attacking him. He made me feel guilty."Eva said her former partner would "raise his voice", and "when he didn't like what I said he started to punch a chair, a wall".
'I had a hole in my face'
She said when she confronted her partner about being on dating sites, he punched her for the first time. "He said he would never hit me again," she said, but added that he would raise his fist to her face during confrontation. "In a text message he said, 'I would never hit you again, but I enjoy watching you flinch.'"She recounted another attack when he punched her and she fell. "I had bruises on my legs and hip. I stood up...I felt I was bleeding...I felt that my mouth was full, that I had a hole in my face.
The campaign has published a series of films and advertising, urging men and boys to reflect on their actions and language to promote a cultural change. One film shows a man harassing a woman in the gym and being challenged by another man.Another depicts two friends discussing online interactions with a girl and sending her unsolicited sexual images.
' I broke the cycle'
Ms Komuves has had numerous treatments and dental surgeries due to the attack in which her jaw and some of her teeth were broken.But she told the audience at the launch of the campaign that when she looks in the mirror now she sees "a strong woman who stood up and broke the cycle". Speaking about the culture of abuse in Northern Ireland, she said "lad culture" is accepted and "it shouldn't be"."It has gone unchallenged for too long. "We assume that boys are educated on how to speak to women and not treat them as objects, but they are not," she added.
Between January 2019 and December 2024, 32 women and girls across Northern Ireland were killed by men.
'Men must reflect on behaviour'
PSNI chief constable Jon Boutcher said there had been a blind spot in how policing dealt with domestic abuse in the past, but the force is now committed to ending VAWG."This is about empowering men and boys, not isolating them."It's time that we men reflected on our own behaviours and attitudes."Boutcher said: "Women are not responsible for preventing harassment or misogyny against them...it's not right."Justice Minister Naomi Long said "much work has been done" by the DoJ to "help make Northern Ireland a safer place for women and girls".She added that we need to change "attitudes that permit and enable unacceptable behaviours". First Minister Michelle O'Neill praised Eva for speaking out and said the campaign is "another important step forward in our collective effort to end violence against women and girls".