What So Many Leaders Get Wrong: The Disconnects Driving Away Top Talent

Forbes

3 days ago

What So Many Leaders Get Wrong: The Disconnects Driving Away Top Talent
If you ask them, most leaders would say they're doing a good job. They believe they're communicating clearly, recognizing their team, encouraging input, and creating a workplace where people want to stay. But when employees are asked about their actual experience, the answers don't match. The disconnect is easy to overlook until it starts showing up in turnover, disengagement, and missed opportunities. In my interview with David Novak, former CEO of Yum! Brands, he shared, 'Seventy-nine percent of people leave because they don't feel appreciated.' When recognition feels hollow or irrelevant, people check out. Failing to deliver recognition with sincerity can be one of the most expensive leadership mistakes.
Why Do Leaders Think Things Are Better Than They Really Are?
In many companies, leaders genuinely believe they are creating an environment that encourages curiosity, open dialogue, and consistent performance. They often point to awards programs, recognition messages, or employee surveys as evidence. But when these efforts are disconnected from what employees actually value, they fall flat. Employees want to be seen for the things they care about, but leaders often don't know what those are because they don't ask. Another issue is filtered feedback. Leaders are often surrounded by people who tell them what they want to hear. When they hear everything is great, it makes it easy to miss early warning signs. Over time, the gap between perception and reality widens, and people stop trying to fix it.
Why Don't Employees Tell Leaders What They Really Need?
Employees often stop sharing what motivates them because they have learned it doesn't make a difference. If speaking up has ever backfired, or if they've seen others get ignored, they decide it's easier to stay quiet. Some keep their heads down. Others deliver just enough. But many feel disconnected long before they ever update their resumes.
That kind of silence is often misread by leaders as satisfaction. But the absence of complaints isn't proof that everything is working. It may mean people have lost confidence that their opinions matter. When that happens, you get a workplace plagued by quiet quitting.
How Do Leaders Miss the Mark On Recognition?
Leaders often assume recognition works the same for everyone. A team-wide thank-you or a small bonus might feel meaningful to one person but irrelevant to another. Without curiosity, recognition becomes generic. People hear the seemingly nice words, but they don't feel truly understood and appreciated.
Recognition has to be specific and timely. It should reflect the individual's values and the company's core priorities. David Novak called this 'purposeful recognition,' which involves calling out behaviors that align with what the organization believes in. That kind of recognition teaches others what success looks like.
What Happens When Leaders Rely On Assumptions?
Assumptions cost companies talent. When leaders assume someone is happy because they show up on time or don't speak up, they miss the truth. When they assume public praise is enough, they overlook people who prefer private, thoughtful words. When they give everyone the same feedback to keep things fair, they often make it feel impersonal.
The best leaders get curious. They ask what kind of recognition feels most meaningful. They learn what efforts people are most proud of and connect their feedback to the values they want to reinforce.
Why Should Leaders Connect Curiosity With Recognition?
Curiosity is one of the most underrated leadership habits. Leaders who ask more questions get better answers. They hear what is happening under the surface. They notice effort that isn't always visible. They learn how their team thinks and what their team needs. That kind of attention leads to recognition that feels personal and earned.
Curious leaders make it a habit to look past results for insight. They walk the floor, listen more than they speak, catch small wins in real time, and respond with sincerity. When that happens consistently, the team starts to shift. People bring up new ideas. They feel seen and safe enough to contribute.
How Can Leaders Spot A Cultural Disconnect Before It Gets Worse?
The signs of disconnect often start small. Leaders may notice the same people always get recognized. Meetings may get quieter. Top performers may stop asking for feedback or stretch assignments. Exit interviews may bring up culture more than compensation. These signs are telling you something is off.
Another red flag is when leaders think they are recognizing people often, but employees say otherwise. That usually means the praise is too vague or too late. When someone hears 'nice work' without context, it fades quickly. When recognition comes weeks after the achievement, it can feel like an afterthought.
What Should Leaders Start Doing Differently Today?
Real change starts with different questions. Instead of assuming what works, ask directly. How do you like to be recognized? What type of feedback helps you grow? What does success feel like to you, not just look like on paper?
Then act on what you learn. Stop rewarding only the obvious wins. Start acknowledging the quiet effort, the teamwork, the insight, the initiative. Build space into your schedule to notice these things. Share them out loud. Reinforce what you want more of.
Why Do Leaders Need to Pay Attention Now More Than Ever?
Engagement scores are sliding and retention is harder than it used to be. The economy keeps changing, but the core of what people want at work has stayed the same. They want to matter, be heard, and be seen by someone who understands who they are and what they bring. Recognition alone won't fix a broken culture. But when it's grounded in curiosity, it becomes a tool for rebuilding trust. When people feel understood, they speak up more. When they know leaders are paying attention, they stop holding back. If you haven't asked your team what makes them feel appreciated, you may be missing something important. The people who are still showing up are often the ones hoping someone will notice them before they decide to leave.