At 57, I spent £13k becoming a tourist guide

Telegraph

17-04-2025

At 57, there are parts of me that wobble far more than I'd like to admit. I'll spare you the gory details, but after 25 years happily settled into life as a travel writer, the flabbiest thing about me – until recently – was probably my brain.
Two years ago I decided it was time to challenge the old grey matter, shake off the mental cobwebs, and throw myself back into learning, something I hadn't done since I started at St Andrews University 36 years ago.
I applied to become a Blue Badge tourist guide in London, a move that combined my love of history, a desire to better appreciate the city I've lived in for three decades, and the hope of adding new strings to my professional bow. At around £13,000 for the 18-month course including exams, though, it was not a decision I took lightly.
This year the British Guild of Tourist Guides celebrates its 75th anniversary. As our country cleared away the rubble of the Second World War and prepared to show itself off to the world at the Festival of Britain in 1951, visitors to the capital needed professional tourist guides with certified qualifications, and the Blue Badge training scheme was set up.
It is now the gold standard of tourist guiding, recognised and respected internationally. Today there are about 500 accredited guides in London – the only ones who can work inside such places as Westminster Abbey, the Tower of London and St Paul's Cathedral – and more outside with regional badges.
Our trainee group of 32 was a wonderfully mixed crew of all ages, hailing from China, Brazil, Portugal, Turkey and Ukraine, not to mention Kent, Wales and Cumbria, and of course London, and ranged from taxi drivers and a university lecturer to a racecourse manager and a retired teacher.
We embarked on an 18-month training course involving 12 exams, with twice-weekly lectures and weekend practical visits, as well as day trips to spots such as Canterbury and Stonehenge.
Some people have likened the Blue Badge course to the Knowledge undertaken by London cabbies, and I can see the parallels.
At times my head was bursting with dates, architectural styles, museum opening times, Wren churches, kings and queens. I can now tell you the number of buttons on a grenadier guard's tunic, the number of steps to the roof of St Paul's Cathedral, the date of the last frost fair on the Thames, the average price of sticky toffee pudding in a Zone 1 pub, the name of Churchill's dog, and the difference between a K2 and a K6 phone box. If you know a Blue Badge guide, you need them on your pub quiz team.
It was a steep and at times overwhelming learning curve. I'm embarrassed to admit that the course marked the first time I'd set foot inside the National Gallery. But it didn't take long for me to fall hard for Jan Van Eyck's Arnolfini Portrait, Elisabeth Vigée Le Brun's Self Portrait in a Straw Hat, and Georges Seurat's Bathers at Asnières.
At the start I wouldn't have thought I'd end up more likely to chat about pointillism than Arsenal's half-time score. The same thing happened at the British Museum, where I was transfixed by the intricate Mold gold cape (discovered on a site in Wales now occupied by a Tesco Metro, apparently) the shield-biting berserkers of the Lewis Chess Set, and the haunting gaze of the Sutton Hoo helmet.
The most taxing part for me was the 'pano' training, short for 'panoramic coach', when we had to learn to guide on a 60-seat bus all over London in front of our colleagues, not only talking about the history of the area, but about the buildings too, while describing them accurately as we went past – 'that's the grey one on the right now with the four columns and the white-shuttered windows' – but not sounding like a sat nav. 'And now as we turn right around this corner and head south…' was a no no. There's definitely an art to it and one that comes with a good deal of practice and muffled swearing.
But eventually, after much studying and exam sitting – including three retakes, due in part to nerves that I've not experienced since my driving test – I earned my coveted Blue Badge, and I'm not ashamed to say there were tears when the confirmation came through.
Now I'm still writing but also enjoying taking international visitors around London. Most of my guests are Americans who come enthusiastically with a glass-half-full attitude, but seemingly no jet lag. Things I've taken for granted over 30 years, such as double-decker buses, pub signs, Belisha beacons and policemen on horses, are an endless source of delight for visitors who have seen them on TV and film so many times, and now meet the real thing. And questions are varied.
Is King Charles here? (Yes, the flag is flying above Buckingham Palace.) How old was Isabella of Valois when she married Richard II? (Six). What happens to the horse poo from the household cavalry's horses? (Put on the plants in St James' Park.)
Are the guards' bearskins really made of bear? (Yes, from Canada.) Why are the Mormons buying Westminster Abbey? (Madam, that article is dated April 1). Above all, it has renewed my love affair with our capital. Because as Samuel Johnson famously said, 'when you're tired of London, you're tired of life'. Although he never took the District Line every day.
How to do it