How to enjoy school more

The Citizen

2 days ago

'Children are calmer when they know what to expect'
Twelve years or more of learning, of school, of uniforms and routine sound like torture in retrospect.
We've all been through it and survived, and our kids are in the system. But going to school does not have to feel like a sausage machine exercise that's got stress and dread written all over it.
It does take a village to raise a child, and in the twenty-first century, that village looks to teachers to complete the circle.
Educator Richard Hayward's new book Give Quality Kids Quality School Days is a kind of Hitch Hiker's Guide to all of this.
It's for teachers and parents, and Hayward said his sole objective for authoring the work was to help turn twelve years of classroom into a dozen times three six five of skipping, smiling, into them, not dreading the process.
'I've seen kids who love school, and I've seen others who struggle,' he said. 'The book is about what makes the difference, and how anyone who cares for a child can help.'
It is not just a guide for teachers. This is for parents, uncles, neighbours, coaches and anyone else who wants a child to have a better day. It is a practical approach.
From choosing the right school in the first place to helping a child make sense of their day when it all goes pear-shaped.
Happiness is linked to emotional intelligence
Hayward said that a child's happiness at school is often linked to emotional intelligence, and that starts at home.
'Happy children are often the ones who know how to treat others. They are kind, they have support systems, and they've learnt resilience,' he said.
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Despite this, not every day is going to be a joyful celebration.
'There will be days when things fall apart. Someone gets bullied. A teacher shouts. A child fails a test or does not make the team. The book gives real ideas on how to handle that and help the child find their footing again.'
There's also something quite important that he called learned helplessness, where children stop trying because they think they are not good enough.
'Children need to be shown how to hang in there. How to get through disappointment. And how to discover what they're good at,' he said.
It's a strong theme throughout the book because Hayward said his view is that everyone is gifted. You just must look in the right places.
'We used to think a smart kid was one who could do maths and read well,' Hayward said. 'But that is narrow. There are many forms of intelligence. A child might struggle in class but shine on the sports field. That should be celebrated too.'
The work is filled with anecdotes from his days as an educator. One of his favourites tells of a boy named who battled with traditional subjects but was a genius at soccer.
'He could read the game, anticipate plays, and execute with precision. That's intelligence. Just not the kind you measure with a test.'
The importance of routine and rhythm
He shared that for children to enjoy school more, the adults around them should also focus on routine and rhythm.
'Children are calmer when they know what to expect,' he said.
'A simple routine like having dinner at a regular time, getting enough sleep, packing their bag the night before. It all helps reduce anxiety.'
Kindness, he added, should never be underestimated.
'I tell the story of a young girl in the book,' Hayward said. 'There's a boy in the class who always forgets his pen. The teacher asks everyone for a spare, but before he can say a word, the young lady already has her hand up. She's holding out a pen. No judgement. Just kindness.'
The way a school handles recognition also matters, said Hayward. He described a school assembly where clapping was kept consistent, no matter the award.
'Whether it was for art, music, sport or academics, the applause was the same. That teaches children that every contribution matters. Not just the ones that come with a trophy.'
Hayward also suggested that restorative discipline rather than punitive approaches can make a substantial difference.
'You can't run a school like a game reserve, with everyone doing what they like,' he said. 'But you also don't need humiliation or fear. When children step out of line, we help them see why it was wrong and what they can do to fix it. That's discipline with dignity.'
Values start at the top
Values start at the top. 'If school leadership gets their values right, it filters into everything,' he said.
'From the staff room to the classroom, it sets the tone. You can have order and still have joy. You can have discipline and still have laughter.'
Give Quality Kids Quality School Days, said Hayward, is not a silver bullet. Instead, it is full of useful tools, anecdotes and small suggestions that could make a big difference in a child's life.
'Because every child deserves more happy school days than hard ones. And sometimes, it just takes one adult who cares to make that happen.'
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