Kabir Bedi on open marriage with first wife Protima, growing close to Parveen Babi: ‘Somebody has an affair, then someone else has an affair'

Indian Express

2 days ago

Veteran actor Kabir Bedi, who once made headlines for his unconventional open marriage with his first wife, Protima Gupta, recently opened up in an interview with Filmfare about how turbulent that relationship eventually became. 'See, when you talk about us having an open marriage, it's not like we married and we had an open marriage,' he said. 'We did try the traditional model for a long time. But at times, what happens is somebody has an affair, then someone else has an affair, and then the problem of outside relationships comes into the marriage. Egos take over, you become possessive, and what not. And the fact that it does upset you, despite you being an advocate of free love… The fact is, it's very hard for an open marriage to succeed.'
Kabir revealed that the decision to have an open marriage came only later, as an attempt to salvage what was already falling apart. 'In our case, it was adopted at the end of the marriage because there was no other way to keep the marriage together. We tried that, and it failed.' He also recalled a pivotal moment when Protima left him and the children to pursue a life in dance, moving abruptly to learn Odissi. 'All I could say was, 'If that's what your spirit tells you, then take that flight and go.'' Kabir added, 'I said I would look after the kids.' It was around that time that he grew closer to actress Parveen Babi, which further complicated matters. 'It became another upheaval as I left home, which was very difficult and painful. But it was inevitable, given the state of our marriage at that time, it wasn't just working.'
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Kabir also spoke about the tensions between Protima and Parveen. 'Parveen was always bothered by Protima because she believed that Protima wanted to get back together with me, and she was very certain of that,' he said. 'So anything to do with meeting Protima caused terrible scenes. But I was like, I have to meet Protima. I cannot not meet her. I have children with her. I have to see the children. I have to talk to her about the children.'
He further clarified that Parveen did not take on a parental role. 'There were times, when we got together, Protima had to go out, and I had to look after the children. But it was not like Parveen looked after the children,' he said. 'Sure, the children would visit her and talk to her. But I wanted time alone with them as well. So it was a difficult situation, not easy to handle. But I dealt with it. In the middle of a career, dealing with emotions, dealing with the needs of the children, creates a huge strain, a huge pressure. But that's what we created, and that's what we had to live with and do.'