Men can often be lonely and isolated. Milwaukee group gives chance to connect.

Yahoo

02-05-2025

Major Maclin and Richard McClain settled into a booth at The Family Table Restaurant in Brown Deer with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and bacon filling the air.
As servers darted around the packed restaurant, Maclin, 75, laughed with McClain, 77. They reminisced about simpler times, recalling lazy summer days at Franklin Square, Columbia, and Garfield Park playgrounds. Growing up here, they experienced the unrestrained freedom to play ball and chase one another throughout their neighborhood without worrying about violence.
"Some young people today find it hard to believe that there was a time when we didn't have to worry about shootings and crime. Just recently, a child was shot because someone left a gun out so they could get it. This was rare during our childhood," Maclin said.
Over plates piled with scrambled eggs and golden toast, Maclin and McClain celebrated their shared past, weaving a tapestry of memories against the backdrop of a changing city.
Their conversation was just one of many simultaneously happening among nearly 70 people who gathered at the restaurant on a recent morning for breakfast with elders. Every second Friday of the month, a large group of prominent men from various sectors gather for fellowship and conversation.
"I try to attend this event every month because this room is filled with wisdom that you can't find in a history book," said Richard Badger, 52, director of Workforce Initiatives for Wisconsin Community Services.
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Badger said listening can teach you a lot, and the breakfast conversations provide a safe space for Black men, who often lack opportunities to express their thoughts and feelings, to share their minds.
"It's the best two or three hours you can get," he said.
The group began in March 2019 when a small circle of friends gathered at the Family Table. They shared their experiences, and the group started to grow. However, five months after its inception, the COVID-19 pandemic brought everything to a standstill.
Once restrictions were lifted, they resumed meeting under the name 'Breakfast Club M.K.E,' said Louis DeSilva, 73, one of the original five founders.
'This is more than just men meeting for breakfast. We provide information on various topics that can help them, and it fosters a sense of fellowship,' DeSilva said.
What began with six men expanded to 26, then 42, and now averages up to 70. Although the food is good, not everyone comes to eat; some attend to hug friends they haven't seen in a while or grab coffee with someone they have never met in person.
When I attended in March, I saw many men who played a vital role in my life and several I admire, such as Mac Weddle, a driving force behind Milwaukee's Juneteenth celebration, and Will Allen, an international leader in urban and rural agriculture who established Will's Roadside Farms & Markets. The guest speaker that week was Greg Lewis, executive director of Souls to the Polls, who talked about the power in voting.
The monthly events feature a guest speaker, and the topics cover a range of subjects, including health, politics, mentorship, volunteering, financial planning, and intergenerational connections.
Weddle, 77, said if you come to the breakfast club, you won't be alone. There's bound to be someone here that you know, or who knows your people. He moves around the restaurant like a social butterfly, transitioning from table to table, joining conversations, and helping people connect with others they haven't met yet.
'With all the negative things people talk about in our city, we want our community, especially our young folks, to see that we can come together for love," said Weddle said, another founder. "Many young people don't know if they can see it."
Attending events like the breakfast not only provides the men valuable insights but may also contribute to the overall health. Numerous studies show that many African American men face social isolation, and some experts argue that this tendency to withdraw can heighten the risk of serious health issues, potentially resulting in premature death.
The National Institutes of Health reports that men are less likely than women to seek mental health services, which can contribute to feelings of sadness and loneliness. Taking small steps can break the cycle of isolation. Men can reach out to others by making plans, meeting for coffee or a meal, or calling to check in.
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As I was sitting at the breakfast last month, I was reminded of my closest friends, individuals I've known for nearly 40 years, including George Tillman Jr. and Mac Strawder. We have a group chat and talk about everything and communicate constantly. The best part of our chat is that while we motivate each other to exercise and eat right, it's also a space for sharing memes, having fun, and discussing serious topics that we face as Black men — topics that only another Black man can truly understand.
Some of our most serious conversations have been around the racism we face and the death of various family members, something all my close friends have experienced recently.
Men are taught to keep many thoughts and feelings to themselves because they often feel uncomfortable being vulnerable about their emotions. This can lead to signs of loneliness, which may cause additional stress and potentially result in health issues that could land them in the hospital.
The beauty of Breakfast Club M.K.E is that it helps men forge connections they may not otherwise have. While some attendees have known each other for years, others became friends with people they just met.
Maclin and McClain forged an unexpected bond at the breakfast late last year, but they talk as though their have been friends for decades, sharing everything from the silly to the series, such as reflecting on their parents' powerful stories migrating to Wisconsin from the South. This journey was driven by hope, as families escaped the oppressive grip of Jim Crow laws in the South, seeking a better life filled with opportunities, dignity, and the chance to live freely.
Their conversation flowed effortlessly, ranging from the thrill of rabbit hunting to the intricacies of political debates that echoed the passions of a bygone era. They argued over the vibrant history of Milwaukee, painting vivid pictures of how the Black community thrived with culture and charm.
"You didn't have to go downtown because everything you needed was right in our community," McClain said. "You remember that?"
They even shared how different young people are today when it comes to settling disputes.
'Back in the days, you could fight with someone and be friends 15 to 30 minutes later. Today, the first thing they want to do is grab a gun to prove how tough they are, but that ain't tough,' Maclin said to McClain.
'That ain't tough. The problem is people afraid to get their butts whipped,' McClain added.
Reach James E. Causey at [e-mail]; follow him on Twitter @jecausey.
This article originally appeared on Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Men need social outlets. I found group that provides more. | Opinion