‘Shame must change sides' in light of Neil Foden's crimes

North Wales Chronicle

26-05-2025

It came as Arfon's MS Siân Gwenllian had sought support for a campaign in the Senedd, which draws attention to the pain suffered by sexual abuse victims in Wales and around the world.
The Plaid Cymru politician had called for the official recognition of an annual remembrance day and to a fly a flag, every May 1, to honour victims of sexual violence.
It was part of efforts to place the 'burden of shame' on perpetrators, not victims of sexual abuse.
The campaign echoes the sentiment of French campaigner Gisèle Pelicot that 'shame must change sides'.
The First Minister Eluned Morgan had agreed to look into backing the 'Not My Shame' initiative.
Cyngor Gwynedd recently voted to support the cause, and is the first council in Wales to fly the campaign flag at the council's offices in Caernarfon.
It aims to be an annual reminder that the shame of abuse lies with the perpetrators and never the victims, and can happen to any child, in any community.
The initiative follows the shocking crimes of Neil Foden, the former head of Ysgol Friars in Bangor, and strategic head of Ysgol Dyffryn Nantlle, in Penygroes.
Foden, 66, from Old Colwyn was imprisoned for 17 years, after being convicted of sexually abusing four girls over a four-year period.
Siân Gwenllian said 'Victims of abuse are always on our minds when we hear of these harrowing issues.
'A Gwynedd school in my constituency has suffered an appalling case of sexual abuse in recent years, and that criminal has been imprisoned for 17 years. The bravery of the young victims involved has been astounding.
''Not My Shame' reminds us that the shame of abuse should always lie with the offender, and never the survivors. Very often, victims of sexual violence say that they carry the shame of the offence as well as a deep pain for the rest of their lives. That must change'.
During the Plenary debate First Minister Eluned Morgan had replied, saying 'a number of people have suffered in your area as a result of the terrible things that have happened in that school.
'You're right that we need to ensure that the shame is on the perpetrator, not on those who have suffered, not on the victims. Could I look into that just to see how far we can go and whether there's anything else that we do that means that we can't do it?
'In principle, I don't have anything against it, but we'll see whether it's possible'.
Siân Gwenllian said the First Minister's response was 'encouraging' and that the Welsh Government standing with Cyngor Gwynedd on this important issue, was 'a strong message'.
Sera Cracroft 'Not My Shame' Ambassador, survivor and actress said following the Senedd discussion: ''Sexual abuse of children happens in every country, in every culture, and in every layer of society across the world. I welcome all attempts to raise awareness of this message.
'The support of Senedd Cymru would be invaluable and reinforces the fact that the shame of child sexual abuse lies solely with the perpetrator, and never the survivor'.
Gwynedd Councillor Beca Brown, who had successfully brought a motion to support the campaign to fellow councillors earlier this month, said:
'Sexual abuse shatters lives, tears families apart and scars communities. It can have a negative impact on mental and physical health and can affect the ability to form good relationships.
'Effective parenting plus educational and economic attainment can also be affected by abuse.
'One in four women and one in six men have experienced sexual abuse during their childhood – harrowing figures that could be even higher.
'Victims of sexual abuse consistently say that there is not enough support available to them, and insufficient awareness of the trauma they carry forever.
'Marking the first of May, annually, to remember the victims is imperatively important'.
Cyngor Gwynedd's deputy leader, Menna Trenholme who leads on children services at Gwynedd said: 'We all have a responsibility to make change by challenging stigma and shame that is associated with harrowing experiences'.
She encouraged anyone affected by sexual abuse to seek support.
Children who need information and specialist support as a result of sexual abuse or violence can contact RASASC Gogledd Cymru [Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre North Wales] www.rasawales.org.uk or call 0808 8010800.
If you are a child who is being abused, or worried about a child being abused, contact Gwynedd's Children referral team: 01758 704455 (out of hours number: 01248 353551).