Give Dads The Gift Of Time: The Push For Paid Leave This Father's Day

Forbes

11 hours ago

NYC June 5th- Future of Fatherhood Summit
'There's not that much for the dad to do.'
It's a comment that might seem fitting of an era long gone, but for Deborah Singer's husband, it was a comment made in earnest in a professional setting right before the birth of their first child. For her husband it was a typical careless remark, For Singer, a longtime advocate and campaigner for family policies, it was a moment that cemented everything that's wrong with how we think about fatherhood and parenting in America. The cost of which impacts not only fathers, their partners and their children but also the gender gap.
It was a comment that lit a fire in Stringer, who, as Chief Marketing Officer at Moms First, is on a mission to transform a culture that has long sidelined dads and, in the process, overburdened moms. The impacts of which extend beyond any one family, but perpetuate the gender gap and deepen inequality at every level. Last week I sat down with Singer to take about her hopes this Fathers Day, what it will take to reimagine the role dads play across the nation and why the fight for paid leave can't be won with moms alone.
"I think people tend to know like, 'oh, paid leave is great, but they may not understand why," says Singer, 'especially regarding dads. We have seen that the data is clear, but the cultural baggage is even clearer,' This data refers to a study from Moms First and McKinsey, which revealed that while 90% of dads in states with paid leave are eligible for paternity leave, only 25% avail of it, equating to an estimated $1.6 billion in unclaimed entitlements.
"Men are more likely to be eligible than women because they're in the workforce at higher rates," said Singer. "But they're much less likely to take their leave." Yet the reason is not what many would assume it to be. The reluctance is not political or financial; it is cultural. "The number one reason they told us they weren't taking leave is that culture told them it was optional for them, particularly if their partner took it," Singer shares. And that message, whether subtle or overt, has broad consequences. "It leads to an unequal division of labor at home," she continues, "and it hurts dads, too. It impacts their connection to their babies, the amount of childcare they do throughout their lives, and even their mental health."
Reshma Saujani CEO Moms First, Gary Barker CEO Equimundo NYC June 5th 2025
Singer and the team at Moms are determined to change that. This year, to celebrate Father's Day, they partnered with Equimundo to create a first-of-its-kind gathering to unpack the cultural realities and expectations fathers face. On June 5th, they hosted the 'Future of Fatherhood Summit' in New York City,' which aimed to close the "fatherhood leave gap."
The fight to raise awareness of the broad societal impacts of paid leave has been at the cornerstone of Moms First. CEO Reshma Saujani has been a leading voice in the national fight for federal and state policies to make childcare more accessible and affordable. In late 2023, they launched Paidleave.ai, a first-of-its-kind chatbot designed to help families navigate leave entitlements in applicable states. Yet Saujani and the team at Moms First have acknowledged that this movement missed a key cultural lever in focusing its messaging at moms." As Singer explains, "We know that a rising tide lifts all boats, and dads will do better when moms do better; it's not the zero-sum game they want us to fear."
NYC Sept 5 2024- Reshma Saujani,asks President Donald Trump about his ideas for addressing the cost ... More of childcare in the US at an event for the Economic Club of New York.
The challenge, however, is where to begin rewriting a script as old as time, which has always cast mothers as the sole caregivers for infants. At Moms First, they know that the only way to begin to change culture is to first truly understand it, its pressure points and nuances, so they partnered with Blue Rose Research to ask the question, ' What is the strongest reason for men to take paternity leave?'
"We expected the economic arguments to win," said Singer. "Things like, 'I already pay into the system' or 'I'll save on childcare by being at home.' But instead, the messages that moved dads the most were all about connection." The most powerful message was about being a partner in recovery to my spouse," Singer explains. "The second was about my connection to my child. And the third was about showing a different model of care for my family."
Blue Rose Research - sample April, 2025 Population: 3,376 Responses from likely voters 18-40 years ... More old in CA, CO, NJ, NY
For the team at Moms First, what also surprised them from the data was the rare show of political consensus: "Across every line that normally divides us, college-educated or not, Republican or Democrat, men or women, the top messages were the same," Singer shares. Republican men and Democratic women both thought that being there for my spouse was the best reason for men to take leave, which was really surprising to us." This data reinforces that when it relates to one of the most primitive experiences in a man's life, the most powerful message is that of basic human connection, one that resonates deeply, regardless of who's hearing it.
Armed with this data, Moms First are on a mission to rewrite the script. They want to drive the paternity leave narrative away from 'a nice to have,' Singer shares that Moms First is launching a campaign to shift the narrative from luxury to legacy. This campaign will target Dads, meeting them where they already are online. Using social media and internet campaigns, they plan to use storytelling to share a different image to the one society has conditioned us to see. A message that avoids stats, shame, or pressure tactics and instead focuses on what matters most: the power of presence and human connection. Singer shares that this is a campaign grounded in real stories of real fathers, sharing real moments because to shift policy, you have to change perception, and what better way to do so than through the stories that shape us? She explains, "The truth is, bonding with your child isn't weak. Taking leave isn't optional, and we are never going to win any of the fights we care about, childcare, paid leave, economic equity, without men."
So this Father's Day, maybe the best gift for dads is right under our noses: the gift of time. As Singer puts it, let's retire the dad tropes and work to create a culture that treats fatherhood as more than a footnote but an equal partner in caregiving, and a society where paternity leave is not just a perk but a natural and respected fixture in family life.