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Yahoo
30 minutes ago
- Yahoo
I raised my 2 sons to talk about their feelings. It's made me more emotionally aware, too.
Early on in parenthood, I decided I would raise my two sons to talk about their feelings. I want them to know that it's not a weakness to be vulnerable. Parenting this way has changed how I handle my emotions, too. As a single mother of two boys, now 12 and 17, I made an early, intentional choice: I would raise them to talk about their feelings. I wanted them to cry without shame, name their emotions, and understand that vulnerability wasn't a weakness, but a form of strength. That choice shaped every part of our lives, and emotional openness has always been the norm in our home. From a young age, I encouraged my sons to speak up. We have informal family check-ins where they're free to talk about anything like school stress, friendships, racism, or just the weight of the world. When upsetting events happen, especially those that affect Black communities, we don't sweep things under the rug. We talk, we process, and we create space to feel. My own upbringing shaped this approach. I lost my father when I was young, but I was fortunate to be surrounded by uncles who modeled emotional expressions. They were strong, but also loving and honest. That kind of emotional presence stuck with me. Still, when I became a single mother, I assumed I had to be the "strong one." I thought being tough was part of the job, especially raising boys on my own. But what surprised me most was how this journey of parenting them to talk about their emotions also softened me. Creating space for my sons to express their emotions helped me confront my own. I stopped hiding my tears. I let them see me have a hard day. I apologized when I made a mistake. And in doing so, I learned that my vulnerability didn't make me a weaker parent; it made me a more present one. Encouraging my sons to be open with me has changed how we live our lives, and we make decisions together, including the bold decision to move from New York City to Portugal. That move wasn't something I decided to do on my own — my sons and I talked about it openly and honestly. They had shared their anxiety about school safety in the US, the lockdown drills that left them shaken, and the constant sense of unease they had been feeling. We held a family meeting, weighed the pros and cons, and came to the decision together. Our collective peace of mind mattered more than staying where we were, simply because it was familiar. Parenting through adolescence is challenging, and parenting through adolescence during an international move is even more so. But I see now how deeply it matters. My sons are emotionally aware. They are good at regulating their emotions, asking for help when they need it, and showing empathy in many ways. I see them treat others with genuine respect, and they know that respecting women goes beyond just polite gestures like opening doors. It's about listening, caring, and showing up with kindness. I've learned that raising emotionally healthy boys isn't just good for them; it's good for everyone. It creates men who are less likely to bottle up pain, lash out, or struggle in silence. And it starts at home, in childhood, with parents who are willing to lead by example. I know that kids mimic what they see. If I want my sons to be honest, I have to be honest. If I want them to feel safe expressing their emotions, I have to show them what that looks like. That kind of parenting isn't always easy, but it's worth it. I'm proud of who my sons are becoming, and I'm proud of who I've become along the way. Read the original article on Business Insider
Yahoo
35 minutes ago
- Yahoo
How To Deep Clean Your House In 1 Day, According To An Expert
With some planning and prioritizing, you can tackle every room in your home for a deep clean. Declutter to put things back where they belong, and work from top to bottom in every room. Keep rooms clean longer with regular cleaning and managing clutter and unused many times have you opted to throw a big party at your house, only to leave the cleaning for the day before? Whether you're in a serious time crunch and need to deep clean your whole home, or you just want to dedicate a whole day to cleaning and getting it over with, this is the guide for you. We asked Jacqueline Stein, a professional cleaner and the owner of Home Reimagined in Austin, Texas, for her thorough tips on how to deep clean your whole house in one day. Yes, it's possible, but will take quite a bit of effort to get it all done! While cleaning the entire house seems like a Herculean task, the rewards are worth it. Thankfully, it only needs to be done once or twice a year. Use this guide to clean it in one day or to break up tasks throughout a longer time frame. Before diving into this big project, it's important to remember that not everything has to be 100% perfect. Do what you can in the time allotted and don't give up—you can achieve more than you think in a day. Before deep cleaning your entire house in one day, there are a few things you should consider: Plan Ahead: Make a schedule or task list for each room and allocate time for each task. This will help you stay on track and ensure that you are able to clean everything you need to in the allotted time. Gather Supplies: Make sure you have all the necessary cleaning supplies and a sufficient amount of them before you start. 'And remember to always use proper ventilation when using chemicals, and always use protective gear when cleaning (e.g., gloves, masks, etc.),' suggests Stein. Declutter: Before you start cleaning, declutter each room by removing any unnecessary items. This will make it easier to clean and help you see what needs to be done. 'Removing all items that block your vision of the rooms will allow you to clean quicker and not get distracted during a clean to put items away or back in another room,' says Stein. Prioritize: Focus on the most important tasks first—this should be your dirtiest room first. Typically, this is your kitchen and then the bathrooms. Stein suggests cleaning these first, as they will take the most motivation, momentum, time, and energy. Get Help: If possible, enlist the help of family members or friends to make the cleaning process go more quickly and efficiently. Start at the Top: Start cleaning at the top and work your way to the bottom. 'Clean the tallest items first, then work toward the ground last—dust falls and there is no use in mopping those floors if you are just going to be pushing dirt and crumbs onto it from the countertops,' explains Stein. Vinegar Spray bottle Multipurpose cleaner Bathroom cleaner Tough scrub brushes Soft scrub brushes / sponges Microfiber rags (fuzzy and the lint-free ones) Duster Dusting gloves Glass cleaner Floor cleaner Mop Vacuum Broom Specialty cleaners (if applicable) Granite cleaner Stainless steel cleaner Laundry detergent Upholstery cleaning machine Bar Keepers Friend Soft Cleaner Dish soap Bucket Dishwasher cleaner like Glisten Rubbing alcohol Oven cleaner Toilet bowl cleaner Washing machine cleaner tablets Lint brush First, declutter the space. Remove any items that have landed on the countertops, put them away, and remove the towels, bath mats, and shower curtains. 'Pop them in the washing machine, so they can be washed while you clean,' suggests Stein. Start from top to bottom and dust everything in your bathroom, or use a handheld vacuum and brush attachment to remove all debris and hair from the surfaces. 'Remember, it's crucial to remove all dust before applying any cleaning products to your surfaces, so you aren't just pushing wet debris around,' warns Stein. Spray the shower and tubs with cleaner and let it sit for 15 minutes while you disinfect the toilet seats, handles, backs, base, and more. Clean the base of the toilet that is on the floor and all the knobs, too. After that, scrub the inside of the bowl before moving on. Clean the mirrors with glass cleaner or rubbing alcohol and a lint-free rag, paper towel, or even newspaper. 'Spray the sinks and countertops with disinfectant—let the disinfectant/cleaner sit on the surface of the countertops for a few minutes while you wipe down any of those cotton ball jars, cotton swab containers, soap dispensers, or other items you put aside,' says Stein. 'Scrub the inside of the sink with a good scrub brush, faucet included, and then wipe down the countertops after for a fresh start.' Use a good scrub brush or scrub mop to clean the walls, floor, corners, door, water guard on door, and grout between tiles in the bathtub/shower. Use a soft sponge or brush to clean the fixtures (shower head, handles, and tub spout), so as not to scratch them. Rinse the shower well. If you have hard water remaining on your glass shower doors, Stein suggests spraying vinegar on them and letting them sit for 15 minutes to 12 hours, before scrubbing with a sponge and rinsing clean. Once you're done cleaning the shower, you can squeegee the entire shower and dry all fixtures and any water remaining on walls, floors, doors, etc. 'A dry shower is the best way to avoid water spots, mold and bacteria,' explains Stein. Clean the windows and window treatments by dusting or washing blinds or curtains, according to their care instructions. Then, use a glass cleaner and a lint-free cloth to clean the windows. Wipe the cabinet and drawer doors (inside and out) and take the time to remove all bins or items in the cabinets and wipe the inside down. 'You can also do some light decluttering if you are up for the task,' suggests Stein. 'Remember to empty the trash and disinfect the wastebasket bin too.' Vacuum the floors and mop them for a perfectly clean room. If time allows, scrub the grout with a tough scrub brush and some cleaner before you mop those floors to remove any deep-set-in stains. Stein suggests replacing towels, shower curtains, shower liners, and bath mats before exiting the room. Start by removing any items that do not belong in the kitchen, as well as any small appliances, utensils, or dishes that are cluttering your countertops. 'Take everything off the countertops, including small appliances, cutting boards, and other items, and store them in their proper place,' suggests Stein. Dust the entire room first, and take out any kitchen towels, floor mats, or other linens and launder them at this time. Remove the stove burners and grates and soak them in hot, soapy water in the sink. 'While they soak, wipe down the stovetop with a degreaser, making sure to clean any spills or residue that has accumulated,' suggests Stein. 'You can also use a handheld vacuum to suck up any crumbs on the stovetop, before wiping it with cleaner.' After you've fully cleaned the stovetop, use a little bit of rubbing alcohol or glass cleaner over it to make it shine. Remove racks from the oven and soak them in the sink or put them in the dishwasher. Spray the inside of the oven and let sit for 30+ minutes before scrubbing it down. 'While the cleaner sits inside, wipe the outside of the oven down with a mild cleaner and then go over with a specialty cleaner,' suggests Stein. Microwave a bowl of water and lemon for two to five minutes. Remove the bowl with oven mitts and wipe the debris from the inside of the microwave. 'You can wipe the exterior, following the same rules as the oven exterior,' says Stein. 'If your microwave is above the stovetop, remove the air vent filters and soak in the sink with the stovetop grates.' Toss any expired food and wipe the shelves down in your refrigerator. Move on to wiping down the exterior of your refrigerator and freezer (following the same rules as the oven exterior), and vacuum the coils. Don't forget to clean the refrigerator's water and ice dispenser. Wipe down small appliances, such as the air fryer, toaster, and coffee maker. Return to the sink, and scrub and rinse all of the grates, filters, and racks sitting in the sink. 'Dry them well and return them to their appropriate appliance,' advises Stein. 'If any dishes, pots, or pans have also accumulated in the sink, wash them now or load the dishwasher and run it.' Start scrubbing the sink by removing all the gunk first—pull out any goop in the garbage disposal and scrub it. Then coat your sink in dish soap and lightly scrub with a sponge to remove all food particles, stuck-on-gunk, and more. Rinse well, and follow up with the appropriate sink cleaner for the material you have (for example, if you have a stainless-steel sink, Stein recommends using Bar Keepers Friend). Spray generously on the sink and scrub it in with a cleaning sponge. Make sure to scrub the sink faucet, handles, and any other metal fixtures with a soft brush or sponge to remove any buildup or stains. 'Let the cleaner sit for 10 minutes while you clean the cabinets,' suggests Stein. 'Return to the sink, rinse it well, and dry it out fully to avoid water spots.' While your sink cleaner is sitting, clean the exterior of your cabinets. If you have wood cabinets, a mixture of warm water and a tablespoon of dish soap in a bucket is a great cleaning solution, according to Stein. 'Use a microfiber cloth, dip it in, and wring it out very well—the rag should be barely damp,' she says. 'Wipe the exterior of the cabinets and drawers, drying immediately as you clean.' If time allows, remove all items from the cabinets and drawers, and wipe down the interior with a damp cloth. Remove any liners and replace them with new ones, if necessary. Organize the contents of the cabinets and drawers and throw away any expired or unused items. Using a disinfectant cleaner, wipe down the countertops. 'Clean the backsplash tiles with a gentle cleaner and wipe down the grout with a toothbrush or scrub brush,' says Stein. 'If you have granite, I would recommend going back in with a granite cleaner to clean up the countertops.' Empty the trash, recycling, and compost bins as necessary, and scrub them with soap and a scrub brush. Once the dishwasher is empty, use a soft scrub brush to remove any gunk in the corners, empty the filter, and run a cleaning cycle with a dishwasher cleaner. Sweep or vacuum the kitchen floor to remove any loose dirt or debris, and then mop the floor with a heavy-duty cleaner, making sure to clean any spills or stains. 'Pay special attention to the areas around the stove and sink, as they tend to accumulate the most dirt and grime,' says Stein. 'Replace all towels and floor mats with clean ones and your kitchen is done.' The first thing you want to do is remove any clutter in your bedroom—think clothes, books, and any other items that should be put away into their respective spots. Use a damp microfiber cloth and a dusting brush or a vacuum with a brush attachment, and dust everything from the top of the ceiling fan or light fixtures to the baseboards. 'Remove any dust from the ceiling, walls, fans, light fixtures, window sills, and corners of the room before moving on to dusting the night stands, dresser, shelves, picture frames, lamps, and other decorations,' suggests Stein. Clean your bedroom windows. Dust or wash blinds or curtains according to their care instructions. Then, use a glass cleaner and a lint-free cloth to clean the windows. Strip off all of your bedding, including your sheets, pillowcases, comforter or duvet, and mattress topper/cover. 'Wash them according to the manufacturer's instructions, and don't forget to clean any decorative throw blankets and pillows, too,' says Stein. 'Clean them now so they will be washed and ready to return to the room by the time you are done.' While your sheets are off the bed, this is a great time to clean your mattress. Dust mites can be in your mattress, so make sure you are vacuuming the mattress first and steam cleaning with a handheld steamer after. Let the mattress dry completely. To remove odors, Stein suggests sprinkling some baking soda on it and letting it sit for about 30 minutes. Vacuum it up using your vacuum cleaner's upholstery attachment. If you have an upholstered bed frame, you'll want to ensure you are vacuuming it now to remove dust and debris that gets stuck in it. While your mattress airs out, or the baking soda is sitting on the mattress, move on to wiping the surfaces. 'Use the appropriate cleaner for the material of your dressers and nightstands, and wipe all furniture to clean it,' says Stein. 'This includes the front of the drawers and handles.' While deep cleaning the bedroom, this is a great time to hang up any clothes that are on the floor, reorganize drawers, or go through your closet and donate items that you no longer need. When in your closet, make sure to vacuum or dust the shelves and wipe them down for a clean room. 'Replace all bedding, pillows, or other linens you laundered,' suggests Stein. Stein suggests wiping down the door knobs, lamp cords, doors, and light switches. Then vacuum the floors, including under the bed, and any carpets or area rugs in the room. Don't forget to vacuum any upholstery or curtains, if you haven't already done so. 'Start by removing any items that don't belong in the living room and find a proper place for them,' suggests Stein. 'Then, organize any items that are left in the room, such as books, magazines, or remotes.' Using a damp microfiber cloth, a dusting brush, or a vacuum with a brush attachment, dust the entire room starting from top to bottom. Remove any dust and cobwebs from the ceiling, walls, fans, and corners of the room before moving on to dusting the shelves, picture frames, lamps, and other decorations. 'Take this time to clean any knickknacks and décor items before moving on to the big stuff,' says Stein. 'I like to use dusting gloves to clean small items first, then I move on to lint roll the lamp shades, wipe coasters down, and wipe fake plant leaves.' Don't forget to dust and wipe any electronics like the TV screen, game console, remote control, and more with a microfiber cloth. Toss all throw blankets, pillow covers, couch covers, curtains, rugs (that can be washed), and any other fabric linen into the washing machine and launder before returning to the room. 'Wipe down all hard surface furniture such as tables, chairs, shelves, and more,' suggests Stein. 'Wiping with the appropriate cleaner for the item, don't forget to clean the legs and under sides of the tables and chairs, too.' For fabric furniture, start by vacuuming it first, then, if needed, use an upholstery cleaning machine or spot clean any stains. Clean the windows and window treatments. Dust or wash blinds or curtains, according to their care instructions. Then, use a glass cleaner and a lint-free cloth to clean the windows. Vacuum or sweep the floors thoroughly to remove any dirt, dust, or debris. Make sure to do any spot cleaning on rugs at this time, too. Then, wet mop or steam mop the floors to remove any stains or marks. Declutter any items that shouldn't be in the laundry room. 'Dust the room or vacuum with a handheld vacuum and brush attachment,' suggests Stein. 'Dust the shelves, cabinets, tops of the washer/dryer, and any utility items in there.' Clean the washing machine first. Stein suggests running the cleaning cycle, or if you don't have one of those, run the hottest and longest cycle with a cleaning tablet in it. While this is cleaning, head to the dryer and remove all lint in the lint trap. 'Take out the lint holder and use a lint brush to clean deep down inside the dryer's lint trap,' says Stein. 'Or, use a long vacuum attachment and clean out any trapped lint.' Wipe down the inside of the dryer with a damp rag and clean the door, too. Then, clean the exterior of the dryer. Returning to the washing machine, once the cleaning cycle has completed, open the machine to let it air out. 'Pro tip: always leave the washing machine door open after a load to let it dry completely so that your clothes do not smell like mold and mildew,' suggests Stein. Wipe out the inside of the machine, cleaning the drawers/compartments that hold the detergent, and drum around the washing machine. If you have a front-facing washer, Stein suggests making sure to spray some cleaner into the drum and let it sit for a few minutes to remove any mildew and gunk. Then, dry the inside completely with a clean rag, including drying the drawers and any compartments for the detergents, and then wipe down the exterior. Clean the exterior and the interior of any cabinets, after removing any items. 'At this time, refill any products that need to be filled or add it to your grocery list, reorganize cabinets, and make sure they are all wiped clean,' says Stein. Wipe any countertops or folding tables, including the underside and the legs. Making sure you are also checking on any utility items in this room like water filters, water heaters, and other items to ensure they are all in safe and working condition. Vacuum the floors and mop for a clean laundry room. Declutter and put items away, moving the cars or any vehicles so you can fully clean. Use this time to reorganize or put boxes away that may have been left out. 'Donate anything that is not being used or put the donations into your car to drop off,' suggests Stein. 'Make sure to put all tools away, [place] ladders in the correct location, and charge any lawn mowers, weed whackers, or other lawn equipment that requires it.' Dust the ceiling in the garage and make sure to remove cobwebs and other particles that are on the shelves or walls. Wash and clean doormats and rugs or any fabric item that lives in these outdoor spaces. 'Wipe any hard furniture, gym equipment, shelves, or tables that are in the space,' says Stein. 'Sweep up any debris on the floor and then hose down or power wash the floors if needed.' To keep your home clean for longer, get rid of clutter before it accumulates. Set aside a few minutes each day to put things back where they belong. Stick to a regular cleaning schedule each week to prevent buildup of dust, grime, and dirt. Focus on areas of the home that get heavy traffic. They may need more frequent cleaning than less-used rooms. Tasks like taking out the trash, tossing expired items from the fridge and pantry, making the bed, and wiping down surfaces often will help maintain a clean house. Read the original article on Southern Living
CNN
36 minutes ago
- CNN
Suspect in Minnesota lawmaker attacks was a ‘prepper' who had drafted a ‘bailout plan' for wife, according to court filing
The man charged in the killings of a Minnesota lawmaker and her husband one week ago was a 'prepper' and had at some point given his wife a 'bailout plan' in case of 'exigent circumstances,' according to an FBI agent investigating the case. The term 'prepper' refers generally to someone who stockpiles materials and makes plans to survive some future disaster or doomsday event. In a newly unsealed affidavit obtained by CNN affiliate WCCO, FBI agent Terry Getsch wrote that Boelter and his wife were preppers and that Boelter's established 'bailout plan' instructed his wife to go to her mother's home in Wisconsin. The affidavit does not imply that Boelter's wife knew about her husband's alleged plans to attack the lawmakers, and she has not been charged with any crime. After last Saturday's shootings, Boelter's wife was pulled over by law enforcement 'while traveling with her four children to visit friends northwest of the metro area,' Getsch wrote. She consented to a search of their car, in which investigators found two handguns, passports for Boelter's wife and their children and about $10,000 in cash. During an interview, Boelter's wife said that she received a group text message from Boelter in a thread with their kids. 'Dad went to war last night … I don't wanna say more because I don't wanna implicate anybody,' one text from Boelter to members of his family read, according to a federal complaint unsealed earlier this week. The affidavit also revealed that at roughly 9 a.m. on Saturday, Boelter visited a bank in Robbinsdale, Minnesota, and withdrew all $2,200 he had in a bank account in his name. A third party whose name is redacted in the affidavit drove Boelter from the bank. Boelter was driven to the bank by a person listed as 'Witness 1' in a previously unsealed court document, the same person who authorities say sold Boelter an electric bike and Buick sedan, which was found during the 43-hour manhunt last weekend. Authorities said earlier this week Boelter is believed to have carried out the attacks on lawmakers alone, but noted investigators would 'fully explore' to ensure that was the case. CNN reached out to the Brooklyn Park Police Department for an update on the investigation. Boelter, 57, faces both federal and state charges. Investigators found 'voluminous writings' in Boelter's home and car, but no clear manifesto has been uncovered, according to Acting US attorney Joseph Thompson. The notebooks contained the names of more than 45 Minnesota state and federal public officials, 'mostly or all Democrats,' according to the complaint. Some listed had ties to Planned Parenthood and the abortion rights movement. Boelter made his first appearance in federal court on Monday. He faces six federal charges, including murder, stalking and firearms offenses. He has not yet entered a plea and CNN has reached out to the federal public defender representing him for comment. Boelter is scheduled to appear in federal court in St. Paul, Minnesota, for a preliminary detention hearing on Friday.
