
Politics can destroy relationships – just ask Sarah Vine and Michael Gove
The intrusion of politics into personal relationships has been an eagerly documented feature of the Trump-Brexit era, which this week found its perfect expression: a granular account of the end of the marriage between Sarah Vine and Michael Gove. You may think, as I did, you're not interested in this, but hold up. A recent excerpt in the Daily Mail from How Not to Be a Political Wife, Vine's forthcoming memoir, contained not only the suggestion that Brexit ruined their marriage, but that a key trigger in its collapse was Andrea Leadsom's political manoeuvring. Has Andrea Leadsom ruined any of your relationships? It is certainly a question worth asking.
Or more broadly: do people really break up with each other because of big-P politics? In the case of Vine/Gove – which sounds like a tortured play at the National that, despite the playwright's best hopes, never transferred to the screen – it's a complicated picture. This wasn't a separation brought on by opposing views about Europe, but rather, in Vine's account, by the stress caused when her husband backed Brexit and drove a wedge between the couple and their pro-European friends and colleagues. Brexit broke their marriage but only because it put in motion a train of events that ended in David Cameron standing down, Leadsom scuppering Boris Johnson's first run for top office, Theresa May becoming prime minister, and, ultimately, Gove losing his cabinet position.
This isn't how most of us experience politics, which is to say with a sense of immediate, personal jeopardy. Still, when Vine writes 'politics had infected every aspect of our lives – and it caused untold damage', refers to 'BB (Before Brexit) friends' and suggests huffily 'I don't know Andrea Leadsom and have nothing against her, so I'm not 100% sure why she effectively became the touchpaper by which Michael set fire to the Boris leadership campaign and thereby, eventually, to our lives together', you get the gist of a household in which conflict organised itself around a single political moment.
This is recognisable. I've just read Elizabeth Strout's latest novel, Tell Me Everything, in which, returning to her usual setting in Maine, she suggests it is entirely possible to sit on a bench in the sun and chat pleasantly to a friend who voted for Trump, except when that friend meets a man online who deepens her delusions about immigrants and how food banks are exploited by people too lazy to work – and then friendship across the divide doesn't work. When the novelists give up, you have to worry.
In reality, of course, the political issues that have caused the most friendship breaks recently have been neither Trump nor Brexit, two causes so clearly defined between left and right that few of those from one camp were pre-existing friends with the other, but rather Israel/Palestine and gender. I was just in New York, where a friend said with something like shellshock that half her social group isn't speaking to the other because of opposing views on the Middle East. In these fights between friends, every shred of evidence is marshalled against one another so that 'we disagree on this subject' becomes 'she was always like this', before advancing, inevitably, to 'she's a lunatic'. Some political disputes are just that, of course, while others ennoble a personal beef that's been going in the friendship for some time.
Anyway, back to Vine and her memoir, to which we come for the political gossip and stay for the kabuki-style prose, in which Vine toggles between a what-are-men-like eye-roll and a seemingly genuine loathing for her ex-husband. 'Michael had repeatedly told the nation that he'd never run for leadership,' she writes at one point, suggesting a relationship between Gove and 'the nation' that might come as news to the nation.
Mostly it provides us with insight into the weirdness of other people's marriages, a worthy distraction in these fraught times. 'I think better when I've written things down,' recalls Vine, 'so, before Michael was up that Monday, I wrote an email to him that clarified my thoughts.' Do you write your partner summary strategy emails and then inadvertently send them to a PR called Henry, who is different to the Henry you meant to send them to but unfortunately you exist in a milieu in which all the men are called Henry, and this wrong Henry leaks it to the press? A story worth the cover price alone.
Towards the end of the excerpt we discover that, as is often the case when people fall out over politics, Brexit is a proxy for more quotidian and depressing dynamics. The Goves are moving house and, in Vine's telling, her husband does precisely bugger all to help. 'Michael opened up his briefcase, removed a couple of books, kicked off his shoes and repaired to his side of the bed to read them … Mum and I did everything – and I do mean everything. I was incredibly upset.' Division of labour, mental load, a man who lets his wife and her mother create a home for him while he focuses on more important things – a marriage done in not by Brexit, perhaps, but still politics.
Emma Brockes is a Guardian columnist
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


The Guardian
26 minutes ago
- The Guardian
Foreign Office staff told to consider resigning after challenging UK policy on Gaza
More than 300 Foreign Office staff have been told to consider resigning after they wrote a letter complaining they feared it had become complicit in Israel's alleged war crimes in Gaza. It is the fourth such internal letter from staff about the offensive in Gaza, which started in October 2023 in response to Hamas's deadly attack on Israel. In their letter of 16 May the staff, from embassies around the world and at various levels of seniority, questioned the UK's continued arms sales and what they called Israel's 'stark … disregard for international law'. The Foreign Office said it had systems for staff to raise concerns and added the government had 'rigorously applied international law' in relation to the war in Gaza. The reply to the letter was sent by the permanent under-secretary, Oliver Robbins, and Nick Dyer, the second most senior civil servant in the Foreign Office. They told the signatories: '[I]f your disagreement with any aspect of government policy or action is profound, your ultimate recourse is to resign from the civil service. This is an honourable course.' The reply did not address the substantive complaints by staff. The letter, first reported by the BBC, said: 'In July 2024, staff expressed concern about Israel's violations of international humanitarian law and potential UK government complicity. In the intervening period, the reality of Israel's disregard for international law has become more stark.' It went on to list the killing by Israeli forces of 15 humanitarian workers in March and Israel's suspension of all aid to Gaza in the same month 'leading many experts and humanitarian organisations to accuse Israel of using starvation as a weapon of war'. It said the UK government's position had contributed to 'the erosion of global norms', citing continued weapons exports and the visit to London in April by Israel's foreign minister, Gideon Sa'ar, 'despite concerns about violations of international law'. The Foreign Office described Sa'ar's visit as private, even though he met the foreign secretary, David Lammy. The staff letter added that 'supported by the Trump administration, the Israeli government has made explicit plans for the forcible transfer of Gaza's population'. In response, Robbins and Dyer said the department welcomed 'healthy challenge' as part of the policymaking process and had already set up a 'bespoke Challenge Board' and regular listening sessions with employees to hear concerns in this policy area. They wrote that staff were entitled to their personal views, but added it 'might be helpful' to 'remind' them of mechanisms available to those uncomfortable with policy. It went on to list a series of ways staff could raise issues, before adding that resignation was an 'ultimate recourse' and 'honourable course' for those with profound disagreements over government policy. '[T]he bargain at the heart of the British civil service is that we sign up to deliver the policies of the government of the day wholeheartedly, within the limits imposed by the law and the civil service code,' it said. The UK government's position is that Israel is 'at risk' of breaching humanitarian law, the threshold for barring arms exports, but says it is for international courts to determine if breaches of international law have occurred, which will not be fully determined for many years. Senior foreign office ministers are due to be challenged in the business select committee over why the government is continuing to sell parts and components to the F-35 programme without placing a condition that the parts are not sent on to Israel. The UK is not selling directly to Israel, and claims it has no option but to supply the parts or see the whole F-35 programme grind to a halt, affecting Nato operations defending Europe. The carve-out of F-35s from the ban on UK arms being sold to Israel, imposed in September, is being tested in the high court by the NGOs Global Legal Action Network and Al-Haq. The Foreign Office in its court submissions, likely to be the subject of cross-examination by the business committee, said it had determined Israel was not committing a genocide in Gaza, which appears to contradict the stance that only the UK courts can make such a ruling. It also said it could not take a position on specific attacks by Israel since it did not have definitive evidence. In September, Lammy announced the suspension of about 30 arms exports licences to Israel, and said the remaining licences were not relevant to the war in Gaza – although the government admits some of the licences allow exports to the Israel Defence Forces. Israel has consistently denied committing war crimes in Gaza, saying its actions are proportionate and necessary to eradicate Hamas, which it says uses hospitals and school premises to protect itself. The former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has gathered the names of 50 MPs backing his call for an independent public inquiry into UK involvement in military operations in Gaza. Corbyn has been among MPs pressing ministers to explain why RAF jets from the UK base in Akrotiri in Cyprus fly regularly over Gaza. More than 300 surveillance flights have been recorded, allegedly in search of Hamas-held hostages. Questions are also being asked if Israel acted lawfully by intercepting the ship Madleen in international waters, containing Greta Thunberg and 11 other campaigners seeking to highlight the blockade of food into Gaza. The Freedom Flotilla Coalition , the group operating the UK-flagged Madleen, said all 12 campaigners were 'being processed and transferred into the custody of Israeli authorities'. The Foreign Office has not commented.


The Independent
27 minutes ago
- The Independent
12 best Father's Day gifts 2025, tested on dads aged 30 to 70
Father's Day is fast approaching and this year it falls on Sunday 15 June, so there's a lot pressure to find the perfect gift. When it comes to showing appreciation for the dads, stepdads, grandads, and father figures in our lives, finding the right present isn't easy. There's plenty of mass-produced, macho, stereotypical tat out there, and none of it is quite right for making a thoughtful gesture. That's why we've done all the hard work for you, taking a deep dive into the market to find the best Father's Day gifts that are guaranteed to go down a treat. The key to getting it right is to tailor your gift to your dad's personality, hobbies, and lifestyle. Whether he's a foodie, tech enthusiast, outdoor adventurer, or simply enjoys a potter in the garden, there's a gift out there to suit him. Think about what he enjoys doing in his spare time, or consider a present that might encourage him to explore something new. There are lots of fail-safe gifts that almost any man would be happy to receive, too, including food, drinks, or a personalised present. No matter your budget or your dad's taste, we've rounded up thoughtful, practical, and fun gift ideas that will genuinely make him feel appreciated this Father's Day. How we tested To collate our pick of the best Father's Day gifts, we recruited a crack team of dads aged 30 to 70, each with a wide range of interests. We spent weeks testing every single product and considered everything from how much the tester genuinely liked the gift upon receipt to whether it was something they still reached for a few weeks down the line. We've made sure to include a range of options to suit every type of father figure, whether he's into fashion, skincare or considers himself a big kid at heart. Plus, we've kept price in mind, with small treats, luxury buys and everything in between to choose from. Ultimately though, the products that made the cut had to put a smile on their faces. Why you can trust IndyBest reviews Sarah Jones is IndyBest's assistant editor and has years of experience when it comes to writing and editing shopping content, so it's fair to say she knows a thing or two about finding quality products. Committed to helping you find the perfect item for your dad or father figure, Sarah has combined her bank of fail-safe present ideas with her shopping expertise to steer her selection of top-rated gifts featured here. The best gifts for Father's Day 2025 are:


Reuters
28 minutes ago
- Reuters
EU will propose more flexibility for defence procurement, commissioner says
BRUSSELS, June 10 (Reuters) - The European Commission will propose next week to give governments more flexibility on defence procurement and make access to European funding easier, European Defence Commissioner Andrius Kubilius said on Tuesday. "Without this simplification, nothing else in defence readiness will be possible to achieve," Kubilius told a conference in Brussels. "Putin will not wait for us to get our paperwork in order," he added. The European defence industry has raised concerns about EU red tape and delays in accessing funds. The proposal, expected to be presented on June 17, will aim to address some of these complaints. "We intend to give more flexibility to member states in common procurements, more flexibility on framework agreements, and we intend to facilitate innovation procurement," he said, adding that the Commission also wants to make access to the bloc's defence fund "easier". The commissioner said it would also be important to look at other rules that impact defence, pointing to permits, reporting obligations, competition rules and sustainable finance. Kubilius said the Commission will propose simplifying a directive on defence procurement and a directive on intra-EU transfers of defence products.