Colman Noctor: Learning from the Dutch approach, where teenagers have high life satisfaction

Irish Examiner

27-05-2025

Last week, UNICEF released a report entitled 'Child Wellbeing in an Unpredictable World', which revealed that Irish teenagers are among the least satisfied with life in high-income countries. Nearly one in three 15-year-olds reported low life satisfaction, and Ireland was ranked 24th for adolescent mental wellbeing among OECD and EU countries.
We have been experiencing a happiness recession for some time now. I have met many young people who appear apathetic about school and friends. Despite having no obvious stressors, they describe a lack of satisfaction with everyday life. I commonly hear young people ask 'What's the point?' when it comes to existential questions about their lives, and I get a worrying, eerie sense of emptiness from many young people I see.
At no point in human history have our children ever had so much objectively, yet we have been more unhappy subjectively. I was curious to find out if this was replicated globally, if certain countries were performing better in this regard, and if so, what lessons we could learn from their approaches.
I expected the Nordic countries to rank highest, as they are often league leaders in raising children. However, upon reviewing the UNICEF report, the Netherlands stood out as the highest performer in life satisfaction among young people.
Dutch teenagers consistently report high levels of life satisfaction, outperforming their peers across Europe. According to a 2024 study by the British charity, Children's Society, only 6.7% of Dutch 15-year-olds reported low life satisfaction, compared to the European average of 16.6%.
The Dutch approach to education emphasises student wellbeing alongside academic achievement. Their schools focus on fostering a sense of belonging among their students and reducing performance pressure.
For example, one school, the Jordan-Montessori Lyceum in Utrecht, temporarily restricted parental access to real-time grade apps to alleviate student stress. They identified that parents' constant monitoring of their children's academic performance heightened the students' anxiety, and so interrupted that process.
It's a tactic worth considering in Ireland, given the high stress levels many students experience around their academic performance.
Educational researchers Sharon O'Donnell and Helen Burgess, who conducted a comprehensive review of the Dutch education system in 2018, found that its school system offers multiple educational pathways and has successfully reduced the stigma associated with non-academic career tracks. This result was achieved through a 'needs-based policy', where vocational education is closely linked to the needs of the local labour market, ensuring that students acquire skills directly applicable and sought after by employers.
The schools also offer flexible educational pathways, making it easier for students to switch from vocational to academic pathways or vice versa.
There's a cultural emphasis on valuing practical skills, incorporating hands-on learning experiences into vocational programmes, further enhancing their relevance and appeal. This inclusive approach enables students to pursue careers aligned with their interests and strengths rather than focusing on an academic points system, which they believe contributes to higher satisfaction levels.
Senior cycle redevelopment proposals are currently being considered to create a more balanced Leaving Certificate assessment system, reducing the emphasis on high-stakes exams by incorporating continuous assessment components. These changes aim to offer a more equitable and authentic assessment process, allowing students to demonstrate their knowledge in various ways.
Along with changing how we test students, we need to consider moving away from the CAO points system, which serves as the primary entry point for further education. I am confident that an alternative system where students are encouraged to choose courses that suit their skills and aspirations, instead of the culture of finding a course to match their CAO points, would work better.
Moderating social media use
While social media is ubiquitous among teenagers worldwide, Dutch adolescents exhibit healthier usage patterns than most countries.
The Health Behaviour in School-aged Children (HBSC) Study 2022 found that problematic social media use among Dutch teens is significantly lower than international averages. While an average of 11% of teenagers across 44 countries displayed 'problematic' social media use, this percentage was only 6% in Dutch teenagers. According to extensive research by sociologist Jonathan Haidt and colleagues, moderating social media usage helps teens maintain positive self-esteem and reduces their exposure to harmful online comparisons.
Dutch culture also strongly encourages outdoor activities and face-to-face interactions, which limits children's screen time. Dutch children are often seen cycling, playing in parks, or engaging in community events, which helps to foster real-world connections and enhance their physical well-being. This is made possible by a vast network of cycle paths, well-maintained parks, and public spaces that encourage active lifestyles and social interaction.
In her 2018 book Things Dutch Moms Like, author Coleen Geske says that Dutch parenting styles are characterised by openness, respect, and autonomy. Geske says Dutch parents take pride in engaging in honest conversations about various topics, including sex, emotions, and personal challenges. They believe that this transparency helps build trust and equips teenagers with the tools to navigate adolescence confidently.
While much progress has been made with Irish parents' openness to meaningful conversations, we still have a way to go. Despite the ubiquitous availability of pornography in the online world, I would guess that most Irish parents continue to avoid having honest conversations with their teenage children about this topic. The legacy of the Catholic church undoubtedly plays a role in our awkward approach to these types of conversations. Despite the discomfort inherent in these conversations, the risks of not having these conversations may be far more significant.
Additionally, Geske states that Dutch parents often involve children in decision-making, reinforcing their sense of agency, autonomy and responsibility.
In their 2017 book The Happiest Kids in the World, authors Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison list things they believe set Dutch children apart. They say that Dutch babies get more sleep, have little or no homework in primary school, are trusted to ride bikes to school on their own, are allowed to play outside unsupervised and value having regular family meals. While many Irish parents do many of these things too, it reminds us to continue investing in these parenting aspects, which seem to serve Dutch children very well.
Sense of belonging
Outside family life, schools and neighbourhoods make concerted efforts to foster meaningful, inclusive environments where students feel accepted and supported. According to the UNICEF report, 81% of Dutch 15-year-olds find it easy to make friends, one of the highest rates among OECD countries.
These community supports extend to extracurricular activities and public spaces as well. According to University of Utrecht researcher Yvonne Vanneste, Dutch teenagers have access to facilities similar to youth clubs, which are government-funded and professionally managed. These clubs allow them to participate in group sports, the arts, and volunteer work, enhancing their social networks and sense of belonging. In Ireland, by contrast, funding for youth clubs is dwindling.
The well-being of Dutch teenagers is not the result of a single policy or practice but rather a holistic approach that integrates supportive education, responsible digital habits, open family communication, structured routines, and strong community ties into their culture.
The Netherlands has had centuries of government investment based on a thriving economy, sharply contrasting with Ireland. While government funding and facilities are beyond our control, as parents, we can draw other valuable lessons from the Dutch model.
I recognise that all cultures are different. However, we need to acknowledge that Irish teenagers struggle with life satisfaction compared to their counterparts in other countries. By adopting some Dutch principles into Irish culture, we might work towards enhancing the life satisfaction and overall happiness of Irish adolescents and improving our ranking in the next UNICEF report.
Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist
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