'I get paid to cuddle babies and help hundreds of women give birth - this is my best advice for expectant parents'
If you've ever spent your morning commute daydreaming about starting afresh with your career, this feature is for you. Each week, our Money team speaks to someone from a different profession to discover what it's really like.
Today we chat to maternity doula Trudi Dawson...
There is no typical day for a doula... which is part of the beauty of the role. Some doulas work every day. For example, I am also an infant feeding specialist, sleep coach and antenatal teacher. So every day, I am working on something to do with someone having a baby! If I am on call for a birth, I will be keeping a close eye on my phone day and night; I could be asked to go and be with a family at short notice. When I have a postnatal doula client, I will usually be with them during school hours, which works well around my family.
Doula costs vary... depending on experience and location. A family might only need some birth preparation sessions, virtual support or full birth and postnatal services. Sometimes, postnatal clients just want help settling at home (which is usually charged by the hour), and others would like regular hours over a period of months. Doulas can charge whatever works.
Doulas tend to be a... very supportive and collaborative bunch. Particularly when being part of an organisation like Doula UK. Often, doulas work in pairs, either with a backup doula or partnering to make sure a family is never let down. I have never had two clients go into labour together, but I have been at two births within 24 hours, which was a great day! When I am booked for postnatal doulaing in advance of the baby being born, I have to be very careful what other clients I put in around that time. It can be a bit of a juggling act but we get very good at it and make sure that, if we've committed to be with you, we will move heaven and earth to fulfil that promise
I teach... antenatal, offer home visits for feeding issues and sleep, plus I support at an NHS breastfeeding clinic, so my clients run into the hundreds. Other doulas might only attend births and do as little as two or three a year. It's a very flexible job that you can scale up and scale down to suit. Doula UK members are required to submit an annual return of how many clients they've worked with so that we can know exactly how many families they have supported. It's rising every year, I'm pleased to say.
Some of the best perks are... the freedom of who I work with and when I work. I am in charge of my own time and that makes me really happy and works well for my family. I'll be honest, there aren't many freebies, although I have been given some really fantastic presents by my clients, which is always so lovely.
I'm usually crying tears of joy... I'm not often crying outright, but I do get a huge emotional lift from my job. The connection I feel with my clients is incomparable to any other relationship. It's very special and unique, and I am always so honoured to be a part of the family for that short time. I often get to share in a woman's first moments as a mum, I get to see her experience her baby's first smile, and sometimes she'll confide in me at her most vulnerable or happy moments. I'd honestly find it a challenge to think of any other job that does all that.
The biggest problem in UK maternity care services is... funding, obviously. But also, I think there is a societal misunderstanding and huge underestimation of the role of birth and bonding in long-term health outcomes. I honestly believe that we could change the world both in terms of physical health and economic wealth if society and the maternity care services were set up to support birth and bonding. But don't start me ranting, I'll be here all day!
British women are not well looked after in the UK... I think society just doesn't honour the child birthing years and their impact as much as it should. But, while I'm here, I think women's issues in general are under-represented, under-researched and under-funded. I think it all starts right at the beginning with our own birth stories.
I don't get clingy clients... being a doula is a real chemistry thing and we often talk about the right jobs finding us. I usually tell someone looking for a doula to look beyond experience and price and go with who they really get on with. This works both ways, so the relationship usually just works okay at the very least. More often, though, you end up working with someone you get on so well with. Some of my clients have ended up friends. Perhaps I'm the clingy doula!
My toughest interaction with a client was when I... doula'd for a woman who knew her baby had passed away already. It was incredibly tough, but also one of the most amazing births I have ever supported. It was deeply powerful and life-affirming, and I was so honoured to be able to support her at such a unique and impressionable time. I definitely cried at that one.
The first birth I ever attended as a bona fide doula after my training... will always stay with me. I was so nervous and felt such a huge sense of imposter syndrome. It was an amazing birth and I'm so lucky my first couple were so trusting and made it such a wonderful experience for me.
More and more people are realising... the power of a well-supported birth. And that, sadly, sometimes the only way to ensure that support is to outsource it. That isn't the same as ensuring a particular type of birth (doulas support ALL births), but our support is continuous, assured and personalised, always. At Doula UK, we've noticed a year-on-year increase in families choosing to birth with a doula or use a doula after the birth for postnatal support at home. I've also noticed much more collaboration with maternity services on the whole, which is wonderful. We're all supporting the same thing and to work together will only benefit the families.
To people who think doulas are a waste of money... I'd probably save the talking for some of my previous clients. Some of whom had their first baby without a doula, and so can compare experiences. I'm confident not one of my previous clients in the last 19 years would consider me a waste of money. To be fair though, before I had my first baby, my sister had a doula and I thought it was all a bit weird when she told me I should have one. I had my baby and regretted it entirely! For my third baby, despite having been a doula for eight years by then, I had two doulas. So greedy!
I like to think of doulas as a... blank canvas, we will provide whatever it is that that family needs. We come with no preconceived notions of what is right or wrong. We help the couple decide what's right for them, we get all the latest evidence-based information we can for them, then we support and advocate for them. As an added bonus, a Doula UK doula also works to a Code of Conduct and a Philosophy to ensure we are all working to the family's best interests at all times.
The best piece of advice I would give an expectant parent is... don't be afraid - to ask questions, to speak your mind, to do it your way, to go with the flow, to disagree or to feel all the feels. Think about after the birth, not just the birth itself. And to book a Doula early!
What's really interesting about trauma is... that it's not often what happens, but how that person feels about it afterwards. I had two births very close to each other. On paper, one was very traumatic, but the mother came out of it feeling amazing, she said she felt like she had "really earned the medal", so to speak. The other mother had a dream birth on paper, but felt utterly traumatised by something a midwife had said to her during her second stage. It really hurt her and affected her experience of her birth and, sadly, how brilliantly she had done throughout. I think the important lesson here is that the idea of trauma lives with the person going through it, not the bystander.
The biggest misconception about my job is... that I do it because I want to cuddle babies. I mean, obviously, that part of it is a great perk. But I do it because I want to help mothers and fathers during this pivotal and defining time. Being a doula is sometimes referred to as "mothering the mother", and that's the part I love. Oh, and that we're all hippies - Doulas come in all flavours!
My first official doula job was for a celebrity... so that probably added to the nerves. In the UK, you don't actually need any training to call yourself a doula. However, to become a Doula UK doula, you need to do an approved training course, then serve a mentorship with one of our Doula Mentors until you become a Recognised Doula UK Doula and agree to a Code of Conduct and a Philosophy. We also provide CPD (Continuing Professional Development) and a resolution process. Along with other things like community circles, an annual conference, insurance discounts, doula connections, etc.
Doulas are absolutely not only accessible to rich people... some doulas also work for free (or maybe one job in four, for example), others also work for organisations that provide free support to those at risk and Doula UK has an access fund that all members contribute to that tries to provide support for marginalised, low income and at-risk pregnant women. I, personally, volunteer one morning per week for the NHS and am part of my local NHS Trust Maternity and Neonatal Voices Partnership (MNVP), so I like to think I'm giving back some of my expertise and experience to those who might not be able to afford it.
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