What Leaders Should Know When AI Agents Show More Empathy Than They Do

Forbes

3 days ago

What Leaders Should Know When AI Agents Show More Empathy Than They Do
You know something's shifting when people start saying they'd rather deal with a chatbot than their manager. A 2024 survey conducted by Workplace Intelligence and INTOO found that 47% of Gen Z employees say they get better career advice from artificial intelligence tools, including ChatGPT, than from their managers. Why? Because they don't interrupt or sound impatient. They've been trained to keep their tone warm, their timing consistent, and their responses emotionally aware. Meanwhile, some leaders are still replying to emails with quick, cold replies or glossing over people's concerns without really listening. Dr. Hitendra Wadhwa, professor at Columbia and author of Inner Mastery, Outer Impact, shared with me why the way leaders respond matters. He said leadership starts with your inner voice. Not your polished script or rehearsed talking points, but the presence you bring into every interaction. That kind of presence is what defines real empathy.
Can AI Agents Deliver Empathy That Feels Real?
They are delivering responses that feel emotionally aware enough to shift expectations. AI agents are now used in everything from customer service to onboarding, internal training, and employee feedback. They respond in real time, they don't take things personally, and they don't get flustered. That consistency is changing how people define empathy.
When a bot replies with, 'It sounds like you're frustrated, and I want to help,' people feel acknowledged. And while the bot doesn't actually care, it still sounds better than being brushed off by a distracted manager. That's where empathy begins to shift from being a human-only strength to something people expect from technology.
Why Are People Starting To Trust Empathy From AI Agents?
Because machines respond without judgment. They use reflective phrasing like, 'That makes sense,' or 'Let me make sure I've got this right.' Those responses are becoming the standard. People want that same tone from their managers, not just from their devices.
Trust is now shaped by tone and timing. A chatbot that replies promptly and respectfully is often preferred over a human who seems rushed or dismissive. That shift is pushing leaders to become more aware of how they express empathy.
How Can Leaders Show More Empathy Than AI Agents?
Start by showing curiosity. Ask yourself: when was the last time you considered how your tone affected someone else? AI systems have been trained to sound supportive, and leaders need to take the time to show that same support.
Krister Ungerböck, author of 22 Talk SHIFTs, shared a powerful communication tool called 'empathy guesses.' Instead of asking someone how they feel, say, 'Are you feeling stuck or maybe a little discouraged?' Even if you're wrong, they'll usually offer a correction. That correction leads to deeper communication. Real empathy comes from that moment of correction, not just from getting it right.
Are You Handing Off Empathy To AI Agents Without Meaning To?
This often happens behind the scenes when follow-ups are automated, welcome messages are scripted, and difficult conversations get delayed until someone else handles them. The more this happens, the more employees associate empathy with bots and not with you.
Empathy requires paying attention. It's the pause, the thoughtful response, and the willingness to let someone talk longer than expected. Leaders still have the chance to model that kind of connection.
How Can Leaders Build Their Empathy Muscles Back Up?
Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, once explained to me how simple phrases can shift everything. He recommends labeling emotion over asking questions. Say, 'It sounds like that was overwhelming,' instead of 'How did that make you feel?' People are more likely to open up when you reflect something they recognize in themselves.
AI can replicate the pattern. But a leader can offer context, memory, and a shared history. That's the kind of empathy people remember.
What Can You Say To Show Empathy That AI Agents Can't Match?
Try saying, 'That sounds like it took a lot out of you,' or, 'Thanks for trusting me with that.' These phrases tell someone they matter. AI doesn't reflect after a meeting. It doesn't lie awake wondering how to repair a strained relationship. You do. That awareness is the core of empathy.
How Do You Keep Practicing Empathy When AI Agents Are Getting Better At Faking It?
Here are a few ways to stay grounded in human connection:
Why Real Empathy Still Belongs To Leaders, Not AI Agents
AI agents will continue improving their tone and speed. But they won't notice the subtle shift in a team member's mood. They won't connect the dots between yesterday's stress and today's silence. They won't ask, 'Are you okay?' because they remember how someone looked the day before. The leaders who pay attention to these things, who pause to reflect, who say what's hard to say, are the ones who still build trust. Empathy requires staying present, and that presence can't be programmed. As expectations shift, the question becomes: who are your people turning to when they need empathy? The answer should still be you.