EXCLUSIVE How being a financially dependent 'stay-at-home girlfriend' will ruin your life

Daily Mail​

5 hours ago

Many young women on social media are touting the benefits of being a 'SAHG,' or stay-at-home-girlfriend, unaware that they could be left with nothing after a breakup.
Gen Z and millennials on TikTok are wildly praising the alleged benefits of being a stay-at-home girlfriend, talking about how they're able to embrace softer, more 'feminine' lives than their corporate counterparts.
Instead of racing to nine to fives in office attire, they wear expensive Alo sets while taking $50 Pilates classes midday. While it might seem like an enviable lifestyle, the reality is much bleaker.
On TikTok, there are thousands of videos with millions of views that show off what being a SAHG is really like, with women talking about how they quit their jobs for the opportunity to go on lavish vacations with their wealthy beaus.
One content creator using the popular #SAHG hashtag claimed that men 'treat you better when you're unemployed.'
These creators are quick to show off a day in their life as a stay-at-home girlfriend, which could consist of making their boyfriend his favorite meal or simply stopping by Starbucks to indulge in a midday latte while lounging.
While some comments praise their lifestyle, others are quick to call them out and point out that post-breakup, they'll no longer be financially stable and they'll suddenly have a major gap in their work experience.
Some creators are now speaking up about what they went through post-breakup, like Miami-based Bella Greenlee, who makes videos as zizzysizzle. She convinced her 386,000 followers she was living a dream life, but now believes that resentment starts to grow if a man is paying for everything.
In a viral video, the creator explained: 'Coming as somebody who has been a stay-at-home girlfriend for three years, it's not the life you want,' because you're 'relying solely on your partner's income' and 'if you give a man the power to feed you, he also has the power to starve you.'
Now, experts are exclusively telling Daily Mail about the financial pitfalls that await young women who give up their livelihoods to enter into these unstable arrangements.
Bella exclusively told Daily Mail that she would tell any woman who's considering becoming a SAHG 'a man is not a plan.'
'Relying on a man for your living situation and income will never be wise under any circumstance,' Bella announced. 'It's crucial that all women have their own form of income.'
She believes the set-up became so aspirational because these women are portraying a 'perfect lifestyle' that looks desirable to outsiders. When she was showing off her own life, she posted day-in-the-life videos that included shopping, cleaning, cooking, and romantic date nights. 'The comments would always be women saying how much they yearn for my lifestyle that included no responsibilities,' Bella said.
On Reddit, the 'dangerous trend' is an equally hot topic, as women point out the hypocrisy of SAHGs promoting the idealized lifestyle while making money off of their content. One thread summed it up: 'They're clearly building their own careers yet telling other women not to.'
Others discussed the fact that these women would not have the same rights as a wife, especially when it came to a separation or illness. They also put their future retirement at risk because of reduced Social Security and 401(k) contributions.
Victoria Kriloff founded Divorce Analytics after she used financial analysis to leave her 'highly abusive partner,' adding that SAHGs are 'setting themselves up for a future financial catastrophe should the relationship end.'
'I was only able to get out because I understood the math around our uncoupling,' Kriloff, a certified divorce financial analyst, explained.
The family financial mediator warned that 'it's alluring to want to rush into the homemaking stage of a relationship and start building a life together when you have found the one, but to start modifying your life without the commitment of marriage is a slippery slope.'
'You could be the one left with 'paying the bill' for playing house,' Kriloff cautioned.
Happy Even After divorce attorney Renee Bauer told Daily Mail the trend makes her 'cringe,' because 'unlike a marriage and subsequent divorce, there is no legal recourse if the relationship flops.'
'You are left without income or assets and there isn't anything you can do,' Bauer warned, adding that she wouldn't 'advise anyone to adopt the lifestyle.'
The Connecticut-based family lawyer urges women to establish their own monetary independence to avoid 'financial ruin.' Even if there's a child involved, gaining any kind of financial gain after the fact can still pose great difficulty.
Bauer has dealt with custody cases where this was the situation, and 'can't do much to help them because the court does not have the authority to issue financial orders aside from child support.'
Melissa Murphy Pavone, a certified financial divorce analyst, told Daily Mail 'if a stay-at-home girlfriend gives up her job or education to support a partner while cooking, cleaning, managing the household, she's essentially working full-time without pay, benefits, or job security.'
The founder of Mindful Divorce advised approaching becoming a stay-at-home partner as a financial decision, because when the relationship ends, you're left with no income, shared assets, or legal claim to financial support.