The Bully Or The Collaborative: How Will You Show Up?

Forbes

22-03-2025

The Bully of the Collaborative
We are living through the bully's era. Taylor Swift, where are you to fix it?
Certain politicians threaten openly. A pocket of CEOs has begun to lead through intimidation. Fear seems to fill the headlines daily. Don't even bother scrolling on social media.
But if we put things into context, maybe there is a lesson. While the bullies may be currently having their time in the limelight, history tells us they often lose late.
But only if something else happens: collaboration.
Collaboration rarely makes news, but it always shapes history. Collaboration isn't a headline; it's that 'thing' taught in those leadership courses.
But in those leadership courses—even the ones I teach—I often ask a simple question: 'How will you show up?'
We all possess a choice. We can show up wanting to rule by force or lead through acts of collaboration. We can be selfish or selfless. One is temporary; the other endures.
Let's look back into the history books to uncover a few examples.
In 1930, during the Salt March, Mahatma Gandhi didn't throw a punch during his fight against British colonial rule. Instead, he threw salt into an empire's wounds. Britain had guns and jails and beer and gobs of money. They had it all.
Instead of resorting to violence, Gandhi encouraged thousands of people to walk 240 miles from Sabarmati Ashram to Dandi, enduring beatings and refusing revenge along the trek. The British responded and arrested Gandhi and over 60,000 people.
Did the bullies wind up winning? No, it galvanized international support for Indian independence.
Gandhi's strategy of collective and collaborative unity, rather than aggression, effectively dismantled British dominance. In the end, the Salt March's global impact was momentous. In 1930, Gandhi was named Time Magazine's 'Man of the Year,' and the notoriety helped to pressure the British government to reconsider its policies in India.
In 1947, India happily gained independence from the British Empire.
Another example is Nelson Mandela's leadership against the bullies of South Africa's apartheid regime. Mandela's collaborative strength and ability to rally further reinforces this maxim.
Apartheid was ruled through brutal segregation and systemic oppression in South Africa when the National Party came to power in 1948. Throughout its tenure, the regime was heavily armed, violent, and ruthless in its pursuit and maintenance of rule.
The regime's brutality was evident in incidents such as the 1960 Sharpeville Massacre, where 69 unarmed protesters were killed by police, which, like in Gandhi's Salt March, marked a turning point in international condemnation.
Mandela mobilized diverse communities from across the country, unifying people through the principles of equality and human dignity. His ability to collaborate across racial, political, and economic divisions ultimately transformed South Africa.
Even after 27 years in prison, Mandela was able to counter his bullies with patience, forgiveness, and artful negotiation. It's not perfect in South Africa these days, of course, but Mandela's collaborative vision overcame the entrenched bullying of apartheid and set a country on a better path than its inglorious past.
Or how about in the early 1980s when Poland's Solidarity Movement took shape?
Facing oppressive Soviet-backed authorities, Polish workers—led by Lech Wałęsa, an electrician from the Gdańsk shipyards—inspired a vast coalition that stood firmly against intimidation. Wałęsa was an ordinary worker, not a general, yet he organized labor strikes and other deterrents through his exquisite collaboration efforts.
Through small moments of collaboration between workers, the Solidarity Movement became something to behold. In just over a year, the initiative boasted roughly 10 million members, representing the majority of Poland's workforce.
Wałęsa's efforts—and those he inspired—created a collective resilience that eventually forced systemic change. Despite having to go underground for about a decade to evade the Soviet regime, the movement continued, and by 1989, it was strong enough to participate in Round Table Talks.
Those talks led to semi-free elections where Solidarity candidates won a landslide victory. It marked the beginning of Poland's transition to democracy and replaced authoritarianism with democratic freedom.
Bullying eventually failed in this example because the collective courage of Polish workers refused to yield to the tyrant dictators of the Soviet-backed oppressors.
Similarly, Martin Luther King Jr.'s leadership during the Civil Rights Movement highlighted the effectiveness of his collaborative genius.
Segregationists were often seen employing acts of violence, threats, and institutional racism to suppress and hurt African Americans. King's leadership, however, unified millions across America through peaceful protests, marches, and eloquent advocacy.
One of the most iconic moments in history occurred in 1963 during the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. It's where King delivered one of the world's greatest speeches ever, 'I Have a Dream.' It happened with a crowd of 250,000 people in attendance. It was televised.
Talk about collaboration.
Shortly thereafter, the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 occurred. These were history-altering victories against the bullies. The Acts outlawed racial segregation in public accommodations while eliminating barriers to voting for African Americans.
While informative, the examples of Gandhi, Mandela, Wałęsa, and King are also sublime collaboration exemplars against their bullies.
They themselves chose not to be bullies, yet in the face of bullies, they collaborated with others to eventually achieve a better and more positive outcome.
In these rather tumultuous, indecent, and integrity-eroding times, the question arises: how will you show up?
By being the bully or employing the collaborative?