For these seniors, celebrating Valentine's isn't about Cupid. It's about good company

Los Angeles Times

14-02-2025

'I'm looking for a hookup,' deadpanned Danny Rios.
Rios was sitting at a round folding table decorated with a neon heart centerpiece for Valentine's Day. In the background, seniors were getting down to Whitney Houston's 'I Want to Dance With Somebody.'
'Just kidding!' Rios, 71, burst out laughing.
It was the Valentine's Day Dance for seniors at the central Hollywood location of the Los Angeles LGBT Center. In the far corner of the room, arts and crafts to make valentines were laid out. Dancing hearts decorated the windows of the hall.
But for many in attendance, the party was less about the loaded expectations surrounding the holiday and more about the opportunity for community and connection.
'I love to be around people,' said Rios, who is in a relationship and believes others should also find their valentine. 'Life is too short. You gotta go get somebody!'
Carmelita Gabriel, 77, a staple on the dance floor who regularly commutes from Alhambra to attend the center's events, agreed.
'I met a lot of people here instead of staying home alone,' she said. 'Since I joined this center, I am so happy.'
Mike Lopez, activities manager for senior services at the LGBT center, said that 'the No. 1 thing seniors say they face is isolation.'
'So, any space and community we can provide is the essence of our work,' he said.
Ten minutes away, in the Fairfax District, the Pan Pacific Senior Activity Center also hosted a Valentine's Day celebration. The center just celebrated its reopening anniversary after being closed for four years during the pandemic. The Valentine's Day event — centered on card making — provided a way to draw people back in, said Monica Benyamin, the recreation facility director.
'It's just a good time to reflect and to make somebody else happy by receiving a card,' said Joan Leider, 82, a regular at PPSAC. Leider was sporting a bright pink heart necklace that she had crocheted; her dog, Bugzee Siegel, wore a sweatsuit with the word 'Sweetheart.'
Leider usually makes and sends Valentine's-themed collages to dear friends and loved ones each year, but this year she decided to do something different after the recent death of her sister.
'When they said they were going to write letters, I knew that my mom and my sister were the special ones,' she said. Leider planned to write her sister a card with all 'the latest' and then frame it for herself.
Leider said the community she found at the center was vital to her well-being. It's a sentiment that was echoed by many seniors.
'I have some friends who chuckle when I say I go to the senior center,' said Lloyd Wilkey, 69. And he doesn't mind the ribbing, but he values the connections he's made: 'There's some real people here and a lot of people who deserve attention.'
Wilkey teared up as he explained that he proposed to his wife on Valentine's Day. The senior center, he said, has provided him with companionship in the wake of her death.
'I figured I'd sneak in, do my thing and get out, but along the way I've met these folks,' he said, gesturing to a group playing table tennis. 'I can pop through here and get a smile from somebody. I get to play with somebody. You can't imagine what that feels like.'
Back at the LGBT Center, Lauren Peterson, 66, a volunteer tap dancing teacher, wowed the crowd with her sky-high battements.
For Peterson, Valentine's Day had always felt 'kind of manufactured,' but she said the community she experienced at the center more than made up for it.
'When you're in a relationship, there's a little bit more pressure to step up and do something' for the holiday, she said, and 'when you have a little kid, you do something fun for them and that's less pressure.'
'Now, it's just an excuse for a party without any pressure.'