At my gym, I can vibe, ignite, achieve, bodypump, bodyjam, and more. If only I knew what that meant.
But this wasn't a sultry invitation from my husband or a would-be paramour. It came from my gym buddy. It turns out VIBE is an indoor cycling class at our all-women's gym. On special occasions, participants spin their wheels by candlelight. Then it becomes: Candlelit VIBE.
I imagine it happened like this. One day, on a Zoom call, corporate voted to reinvent the gym to lure new bodies to its dumbbells and those weird weighted ropes. A return to office, gym edition.
When plans for the new floor layout — suspiciously similar to the old one, with minor Scandinavian design tweaks — were approved, someone who thought they were muted mumbled, 'What's next? Renaming all the classes?' and the agenda was set. Because how does one reinvent oneself in America? By rebranding. Giving new names to old things. I used to be a copywriter. Then I became a Strategic Corporate Storyteller.
Get The Gavel
A weekly SCOTUS explainer newsletter by columnist Kimberly Atkins Stohr.
Enter Email
Sign Up
Before I go on, and lest my gym membership mysteriously freeze, I should say that I love my gym. I would be a madwoman without it. I just wish I appreciated its language as much as I do its group classes and sauna. I wish I didn't feel so nostalgic about the erstwhile paper schedule that offered 'aerobics,' 'weights,' 'dance,' and other perfectly predictable amusements that didn't require random and inconsistent capitalization.
Advertisement
VIBE is just the tip of the indecipherable-name iceberg. If you don't make it to VIBE, you can pop into ACHIEVE. What's ACHIEVE? Coincidentally, also a cycling class. (I could say 'spinning,' but then I'd have to admit how long it took me to figure out that it involves a bike and not one of those '80s Twist-A-Ciser things.)
Advertisement
So is VIBE the one where you don't ACHIEVE as much? And are the caps-lock classes louder? That might explain the artisanal bowl of mass-produced earplugs by the exercise room entrance.
To be fair-ish to the gym: I wasn't born in this country and have maintained a foreigner's perennial surprise at the English language. I dissect the meaning of new terms and try to make sure I fully grasp a phrase's meaning before throwing it around in conversation. Having grown up without a particular variety of poultry, for example, the notion of quitting something 'cold turkey' told me nothing. Nor did the state of being 'under the weather' — aren't we all, all the time, under some kind of weather? Also: Who puts cats in bags?
I am fascinated by words, the way they shape our experience of the world and how these facilitators of communication so often end up complicating our lives. Like, say, at the gym.
The other day, I felt like shaking off all the existential questions in a dance class. I opened the gym app and sat there, blinking, as I tried to figure out which of the following might involve rhythmic movement to music: Ignite? BODYPUMP? BODYJAM? Locomotion? Remix?
I figured Locomotion. Nope! Dance is BodyJam. But also Remix. 305 Fitness, too. Locomotion, by the way, is half aerobics, half strength training. Would Aerobics & Strength have been too obvious a name? Have I lost all sense of fun?
Advertisement
Maybe Octane would help me get it back. Or BODYATTACK? I don't know — I've been too scared to try it, and BODYCOMBAT makes me even more nervous. Though you do have to wonder about 'body' as a prefix for anything that happens at a gym or why you would want to combat it.
If you're curious about 305 Fitness and imagine it relates to 360-degree, full-body exercise minus an unspecified 55 degrees of the body, you, like me, would be wrong. It's named after a Miami area code where the residents apparently know how to party. So now we have to learn Florida geography to take a dance class?
To obfuscate with language is to exclude. Was this my gym's goal in rebranding? I doubt it. With the exception of its membership fees, it seems to live up to its inclusive aspirations.
But what I've learned in my decades in America is that it's a land where people keep things moving. When things are going well, we shake them up. When they're not broken, we fix them — or at least gussy them up. Good becomes great. Dance becomes Remix.
At least some classes are still what they used to be: Yoga, Pilates, Barre. Actually, scratch that. Barre, too, has reinvented itself. Like a decaffeinated coffee, a sugar-free brownie, a meatless burger — it's become Barreless Barre. Isn't that just — the floor?
At least my middle-aged brain is getting a workout. But it's getting sore, too.
Advertisement
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
a day ago
- Yahoo
New owner of Portsmouth events venue once went to school there
Giovanni Donatelli used to walk the halls of Portsmouth Catholic High School as a young boy. Now, almost four decades later, Donatelli is the new owner of the renovated and renamed building, Cambridge Hall. An entrepreneur who moved to the U.S. in 1982, Donatelli is the founder and CEO of The Language Group, a Virginia Beach-based translation service company established in 1999. His company employs 70 fulltime employees and 600 linguists skilled in 225 languages. The Language Group also has a secondary office in Hamburg, Germany. In early April, Donatelli purchased the building at auction for $660,000. There was also a separate transaction totaling $25,000 to buy the intellectual property rights for the business, including the event hall, website, furniture, artwork and baby grand piano. William J. 'Billy' Summs Sr., auctioneer with Atlantic Asset Management Group, said Donatelli was the perfect buyer. The Italianate-style building was transformed into a wedding and event venue in 2022 by Ed O'Neil, an insurance agent with New York Life in Norfolk. Donatelli plans to reopen it this summer as an event hall to host family and company functions. An immigrant from the east coast of Italy, he said he identifies as a local boy from Portsmouth and cherishes the building. 'I stood where my locker used to be and you can see where the desks used to sit,' he said. 'I can almost see myself sitting in the classrooms again.' Armed with ideas, Donatelli said he will continue to operate it as a rental event hall for now — including employee functions for his business — but he is also thinking about using part of the more than 6,000 square feet for nonprofits. Overjoyed with the amount of care the two most recent owners put into the building following years of neglect, Donatelli, a resident of Virginia Beach, said it's now up to him to be a proper steward of it. 'I would love to have a reunion to celebrate the different classes that graduated from there — back in their own building,' he said. 'And I'd like to make a wall to honor the school with a copy of all the yearbooks.' Situated at the corner of London and Washington streets in Old Towne Portsmouth since 1892, the structure was originally St. Paul's Academy for Boys, then St. Paul's Catholic High School before it became Portsmouth Catholic High School in 1964. The Donatelli family's journey to Hampton Roads began in the late 1970s when his father, Otero, a tailor in his native land, was recruited by Morris Rapoport, late patriarch and founder of The Quality Shops. 'They couldn't find anyone in the U.S. so they extended their search and found my father,' Donatelli said. Rapoport sponsored the family's visas and after 6 years they applied for their citizenship. Donatelli's mother, Grace is known throughout Hampton Roads for her seamstress skills. Donatelli and his younger brother, Sandro began their schooling at the now defunct Shea Terrace Elementary where he fondly remembers they learned to speak English. His love of languages only grew from that experience. When Donatelli was in seventh grade, he started his studies at Portsmouth Catholic. An altar boy in Italy, Donatelli said he continued his faithful service to the church every Sunday, serving mass at St. Paul's Catholic Church adjacent to the school. 'I used to play right there and fly my kite on North Street in the parking lot,' Donatelli said. 'It's my home; even though I'm an immigrant, I really grew up in Portsmouth.' Portsmouth Catholic shuttered in 1991 and Donatelli graduated from Churchland High School the following year. 'It feels right; the sentimental connection is there, and it's really special that I was able to do this,' he said. 'It's really nice to feel like I can offer something back to the community by buying my old schoolhouse.' Sandra J. Pennecke, 757-652-5836,
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
The Daily T: Is Farage coming for Scotland?
It's Farage's big test in Scotland. For years it was a political dead-end for Reform party leader - heckled in Edinburgh, chased from restaurants in Aberdeen, and repeatedly rejected at the ballot in today's Holyrood by-election in Hamilton, Larkhall & Stonehouse, Reform UK is mounting a serious challenge. With Farage back in charge and his candidate Ross Lambie gaining ground in an SNP stronghold, could this be the moment his party makes a breakthrough north of the border?And while the Tories remain locked in internal warfare, we speak to Reform's most senior council leader, Linden Kemkaran, on how the party plans to cut spending with their own version of Elon Musk's DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency) department, and why she wants to end taxpayer-funded English lessons for migrants. Watch episodes of the Daily T here. You can also listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
I Can't Resist a Maximalist Aesthetic, Here are 14 Items I'm Buying for Summer
PureWow editors select every item that appears on this page, and some items may be gifted to us. Additionally, PureWow may earn compensation through affiliate links within the story. All prices are accurate upon date of publish. You can learn more about the affiliate process here. You can learn more about that process here. Yahoo Inc. may earn commission or revenue on some items through the links below. Read the original article on Purewow. Despite my best efforts to declutter my home, streamline my cabinets and stick to a ten-piece capsule wardrobe, it's just not in my nature to be a minimalist. In the words of Kate Hudson, I love stuff. I love things. And I like them to be bold, weird, kitschy and colorful. I will always prefer a striped T-shirt to a solid one. I will always own multiple necklaces with lobster charms on them. I'm a sucker for anything with fringe or feathers or beading. In short, I am a maximalist. Luckily, summer 2025 trends are looking pretty great for those of us who live by the mantra 'more is more.' The Portuguese girl aesthetic has replaced Scandinavian simplicity with clashing pattens and fruit-themed prints. Outside of places where it's the order of the day, Cowboy-core and Western wear can feel pretty bold for suburban or city life. Embroidered boots, wide-brim cowboy hats and suede fringe are not exactly subtle on the streets of NYC. And animal prints—including leopard, cow, snake, zebra, tiger and more—have once again become a must-have addition to any wardrobe. And so, while others will likely spend their summer stocking up on timeless classics, like plain white T-shirts and black leather tote bags, I've got my eyes on these 14 maximalist beauties instead. For on for my top larger-than-life picks to add to your wardrobe ASAP. Move Over, Mesh: This Is the Summer of the Jelly Flat Rachel Antonoff Rachel Antonoff is a great place to find cheeky prints, like this bean plant design, with the added bonus that everything comes in sizes XS to 3X. And the silhouettes are both comfortable and flattering, too. This cotton/linen number is bra-friendly, has pockets and is long enough to sport a little pair of anti-chafe shorts if you like, but doesn't feel overly baggy or shapeless. Not entirely sure you're ready to bring a bean print dress into your wardrobe permanently? This cutie, plus other RA styles, is also available to rent at Rent the Runway starting at just $35. $268 at Rachel Antonoff From $35 at Rent the Runway Teva I love a good statement shoe, but with my blister-prone feet, it also has to be comfortable and supportive for walking around the city. So many Teva designs check all those boxes, but this Aventrail style is swiftly becoming my new go-to for summer 2025. I actually own a men's pair because I preferred the green-and-yellow colorway, but I really can't stop thinking about this teal-and-cherry red design as well. (To convert women's shoe sizes to men's simply subtract 1.5—for example, I wear a women's 10, but a men's 8.5.) They're supremely comfortable, add a little bit of height with that super-thick sole and are waterproof, so I don't need to stress about stumbling into an unexpected rainstorm. Add to that the highly adjustable trio of straps and you've got yourself a no-brainer, IMO. $145 at Teva $145 at Zappos Anthropologie There are a lot of versions of this best-selling beaded bag, including food themes, surfers, retro flowers and more, but it's the colorblocked stripes I find myself returning to time and time again. The mix of white, black and various shades of blue allow me to pair it back to plenty of pieces in my closet, and the beading makes it a great option for more formal events like wedding receptions and cocktail parties. And according to reviewers, this shoulder bag has room for all the essentials (phone, wallet, keys, lip balm) plus a few extras. All for under $100. $98 at Anthropologie Marimekko I've spotted so many fashion gals on my Instagram sporting Marimekko denim, and I think it's high time I join the crowd. The iconic flower design adds some much needed flair to an otherwise simple wide-leg silhouette, and the darker wash helps elevate the pattern so it doesn't veer too far into '60s hippie territory. Because they're made of 100 percent cotton, there is little to no stretch to the material, however they will conform to your figure with regular wear, so keep that in mind when deciding what size to add to your shopping cart. $325; $260 at Marimekko $318 at Free People $325 at Nordstrom Lisa Says Gah Lisa Says Gah is another place maximalists will love. And while the brand's Italian food theme prints are likely its best known, I'm really loving this oversize tulip appliqué as a chic alternative. The cotton base is a super simple silhouette—a black, spaghetti strap minidress—but the addition of a giant yellow tulip sewn onto the front takes it from fine to fabulous! There's also a tie in back so you can cinch the waist if you like. The brand does note this dress reportedly runs small, so you may want to go up from your usual size. $220 at Lisa Says Gah Sunnie Creative Etsy I first saw these flower earrings on Pinterest and immediately clicked through to see where I could buy a pair. So imagine my delight to learn these are made by a local SoCal designer and cost under $40? They are exactly as pictured IRL and are pretty lightweight, so I can wear them all day without really noticing them. The gold adds just enough shimmer and the color of the flowers really pops. Just know, it does take a week or so to ship, so if you want these beauties for a special occasion or to give as a gift, be sure to order well ahead of time. $35 at Etsy ASOS Sheer lace skirts are having a moment, but I've yet to figure out exactly how to make the trend work for me. Entire this sweet-yet-sporty pink set from ASOS. The color is exactly the right shade of pink to feel bold without going full Barbie, and won't totally wash me out either. And I really appreciate that the skirt is lined to just above the knee so I don't need to figure out a base layer either. According to reviews, there's not much stretch to the material, so despite the oversize design up top, I recommend sticking with your usual size to ensure a comfortable fit. $119 at ASOS $139 at ASOS Marie Oliver An A-line midi skirt looks good on just about everybody, but rather than settle for a simple white version, I'm going all in on this painted stunner instead. The pastel-sketched bouquet is just gorgeous and gives this classic skirt an artsy vibe I adore. It also has an elastic waistband to comfortably move with you throughout the day, and there are hidden pockets on the sides. If I really decide to splurge, there's also a matching top ($258) with the same floral print. $258 at Marie Oliver Jenny Bird Swap that preppy string of pearls for this bold seashell collar to give your summer wardrobe a beachy-chic vibe. The gold nautilus closure can be worn in front or back, and the shells are sustainably sourced for an eco-friendly bonus. That said, you should avoid wearing this beauty in the shower, pool or ocean to best maintain the finish. Worried those oversize shells will look a bit too big? There's a smaller version ($168) with a more delicate vibe, as well. $200 at Jenny Bird Damson Madder Who doesn't love a good two-in-one clothing item? This funky striped dress has removable puff sleeves tied on with dainty bows along the shoulders, so you can switch things up on the go to give yourself an entirely new look. The smocked bodice is also incredibly comfortable, and wonderful for hugging your curves without feels restrictive. And don't even get me started on that yummy yellow, brown and green stripe print—I'm in! $165 at Anthropologie $165 at Damon Madder Old Navy Breezy linen pants are a must for beating the summer heat in style, which is why I plan to add multiple colors of these easy pull-on trousers to my shopping cart. My top pick, however, is the red-and-white vertical stripe pictured above. The sun-washed red stands out but isn't giving candy cane vibes, and the elastic waistband guarantees all-day comfort. As for sizing, reviewers say these pants do run a smidge large, but most still agree it's best to take your usual size to achieve the same flowy look as pictured on site. $40; $20 at Old Navy Chefanie Hydrangeas are some of my favorite flowers, so it was truly love at first sight for me and this backless hydrangea-inspired top. There are straps that tie behind the neck and a set that knots behind you back as well to secure this surprisingly sexy number in place. As it's made from 100 percent linen, hand washing and laying flat to dry is best, but I think a piece this unique is well worth the extra effort. I plan to wear it with high-waist white trousers or with a pastel midi skirt. $58 at Chefanie CeliaB What may appear to be a fairly classic white shirtdress as first glance is actually a rainbow-trimmed beauty that demands to be taken for a spin. The sleeves flare out at the shoulder for a dramatic silhouette, while the curved trimming on the tiers gives the illusion of movement even while you're seated enjoying an Aperol spritz. The tie at the waist is a drawstring you can cinch or loosen as needed, and there are pockets on the side for stowing all your summertime essentials (i.e. lip gloss and some SPF). $360 at CeliaB Susan Alexandra These cheeky earrings give me '90s cartoon vibes in all the best ways. Something about that wavy caterpillar just feels very Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, and is giving me a seriously case of nostalgia for picnics in the park and backyard summers. These earrings are very lightweight—great for all-day wear—and are just the right size to register as a simple colorful hoop from afar, becoming more and more interesting the closer you get. $168 at Susan Alexandra How to Wear Capris as a Tall Person, Because, Yes, They're Back in Style PureWow's editors and writers have spent more than a decade shopping online, digging through sales and putting our home goods, beauty finds, wellness picks and more through the wringer—all to help you determine which are actually worth your hard-earned cash. From our PureWow100 series (where we rank items on a 100-point scale) to our painstakingly curated lists of fashion, beauty, cooking, home and family picks, you can trust that our recommendations have been thoroughly vetted for function, aesthetics and innovation. Whether you're looking for travel-size hair dryers you can take on-the-go or women's walking shoes that won't hurt your feet, we've got you covered.
