Why road trips strengthen relationships – according to the experts

The Guardian

21-03-2025

My first proper date with my now husband was a road trip. I borrowed my mum's car, and we chose our destination based almost entirely on where we could get to on the M4 in less than an hour. (The answer, if you're wondering, was Windsor.) Looking back now, it's not so much the destination or what we did there that stands out, but just how relaxed the journey was, despite the fact that we'd only known each other for a week. Somehow the setting made us feel more relaxed than a pub or a restaurant would have.
Unbeknown to us at the time, this was in fact the perfect situation for getting to know each other. 'Short road trips create a unique environment that naturally facilitates deeper connection and intimacy between people,' says senior relationship therapist Sally Baker. 'The side-by-side seating arrangement in a car is particularly significant – it removes the intensity of direct face-to-face interaction.'
These short road trips have continued to characterise much of our relationship, from piling into the car with friends after work on a Friday for a weekend away to spontaneous drives to the seaside. My car tells the tale of these trips: grains of sand cling to the grooves of the driver's seat, and there's still a handful of sweet wrappers stuffed in the seat pockets from our last weekend away.
'In our busy lives, we don't often get uninterrupted time together, but a drive removes everyday distractions and encourages conversation,' says Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic. 'There's also something bonding about shared experiences – exploring new places, making decisions together, and even handling small challenges like a wrong turn.' All of which is reassuring if you're like me and have a tendency to turn left when someone tells you to go right.
Thankfully, having to rely on my own dubious grasp of directions is less of an issue with the all-electric MINI Aceman's intelligent navigation system, which calculates routes based on real-time traffic information – ideal if you're heading somewhere new to you, whether a restaurant across town or another city for the weekend. If you also have my habit of panicking when trying to parallel park in front of an audience, then you'll love the car's parking assistant, which can automatically manoeuvre the MINI Aceman into that small space you'd otherwise struggle with. Phew.
For me, a road trip – however short – is as much about the journey itself as about the destination. Whenever I've headed off for a weekend away with a group of friends, it's the car journey that sets the tone for the days ahead; that feeling of leaving the little stresses of 'normal' life behind as we turn up the music and take to the road. In the car, we reminisce about other trips ('Remember when you took that accidental detour and we found that amazing pub?') and catch up on the nitty-gritty of our daily lives, adding to the feeling of really being able to kick back and relax when we get to our destination. And this time is valuable whether I'm travelling with a group of friends or just one other. I recently drove a relatively new friend out to a nearby town to introduce her to my favourite cafe – I'll admit that I had been nervous about whether we were good enough friends to be in a confined space for an hour, but if anything it was made easier by being in the car. And, of course, once at the cafe we were able to bond further over our shared love of cinnamon buns – and make plans to repeat the journey again soon.
'Short road trips provide a natural framework for deepening intimacy while maintaining playfulness and joy in the relationship,' says Baker. 'The informal setting helps us bypass our usual social masks, allowing for more authentic connection.'
Music is another intrinsic part of road-tripping for me, and I love curating songs to match the mood and destination, not least because I know they will remind me of that trip long after it's over. But I'm also aware that what I love listening to might not be everyone's cup of tea.
'You can make the journey enjoyable by listening to a shared playlist, or a podcast that sparks an interesting conversation,' says Touroni. 'The key is to set expectations early, including what kind of atmosphere you both want, in terms of music, quiet time and chatting.'
In the MINI Aceman, this can be further enhanced by its Experience Modes which, with the touch of a button, can change the lighting, soundscape and ambience of the car's interior. If you're heading off to a festival, you might fancy the bright colours of Vivid Mode, which lets your music take centre stage, while a spa day with your mates will be better suited to the soothing tones of Balance Mode.
Many of us drive so regularly that we give little thought to the positive impact that taking a drive with friends or loved ones can have. I for one will be relishing that time spent together in the car next time I take a road trip – in fact, I might just plan one right now.
Find out more about the all-electric MINI Aceman