Relationship coach shares tips on getting marriage planning right: How to handle parents, relatives and more

Hindustan Times

4 days ago

Weddings are often seen as the most magical day of a couple's life, but behind the glamour, there's a lot of planning, decision-making, and emotional work involved. Relationship coach and fitness trainer Yash Vardhan Swami in his May 16 post, shared the marriage planning principles and framework he developed, not just from his own wedding but after experiencing 15 close weddings over the last season. (Also read: Planning to get married? Here are the essential premarital conversations to have )
"Got married last year. Attended 15 more weddings after that. Read this before you plan your wedding," he wrote in the post. Let's take a look at his advice:
A post shared by Yash Vardhan Swami (@trainedbyyvs)
Some were childhood sweethearts. Some met abroad. A few were best friends who later fell in love. Others were colleagues. And some were introduced through their families, aka, an 'arranged' marriage. What's the common thread? Love, effort, and imperfection. None of these stories was flawless. But they worked because the people in them made them work.
If Bollywood or K-pop has made you fantasise about perfect love stories, let this be your reminder: they're not real. You'll have your own story, where you and your partner are the leads. There will be good days and not-so-good ones. But always remember: no struggle, no story.
Guests, including most of your extended family, won't remember much after a few days. If everything is perfect, they'll forget. If it's not, they'll still forget. It is nearly impossible to satisfy everyone, so instead of planning for others, focus on creating a meaningful experience for yourself. Be gracious hosts, but make choices that feel right for you.
The couple should make most decisions based on their preferences, vision, and budget. While others may not remember the event in detail, you will. So, focus on what matters to you. Of course, being a good host is important, but don't let that come at the cost of your own enjoyment. A wedding has countless moving parts, and not everything will go as planned. If something is out of your control, let it go.
Aim to plan 80% of your wedding based on your and your partner's wishes, and dedicate the remaining 20% to your family's preferences. Why? Because many parents didn't have the freedom or finances to plan the wedding they envisioned for themselves. Including them in your planning can be a meaningful gesture of love and respect. Note: If your parents are contributing financially, this ratio may need to shift accordingly.
Being 1.5 years into marriage, Yash says he has realised that the wedding itself matters far less than the relationship that follows. A beautiful celebration is no substitute for a strong foundation. Before you finalise vendors and décor, have honest conversations about the things that truly matter:
Yash suggests limiting photography time to around 20 minutes per day. This helps couples stay present and enjoy their special moments fully. He emphasises that what you feel during your wedding matters more than what ends up on social media.
He recommends starting each day with meditation to stay centred amid the chaos and emotions. Meditation can calm nerves and protect emotional energy throughout the celebrations.
Yash advises keeping alcohol intake low during the initial days of the wedding functions. This approach helps avoid hangovers and irritability, allowing you to feel fresh and fully present. You can then celebrate more freely on the final day.
He reminds couples that a wedding is about both partners showing up for each other. While family and friends add to the joy, prioritising the couple's bond is essential. A meaningful marriage matters far more than a picture-perfect event.