'Two concussions in a month was scary and it's why I'm retiring'
'Two concussions in a month was scary and it's why I'm retiring'
Gabby Marshall was on a spinal board in the back of a West Midlands ambulance when it dawned on her - through the fug of a second concussion in a month - that this might be the injury that would end her sporting career.
On Tuesday morning she made it official.
After three weeks of severe headaches and discombobulating fatigue, the 29-year-old captain of Birmingham Panthers kissed goodbye to her life in netball at a tearful team meeting, concluding there was no other choice she could have made.
It was not how "devastated" Marshall envisaged the first year of Netball Super League's much-vaunted professional era turning out for her.
Rather this, though, than a worst-case scenario further down the line.
She told BBC Sport: "I dread to think, after a rest period and recovery for this one, if I was to then step on court again and be in the same situation again.
"I dread to think of the symptoms I would have because this one has been quite scary and quite difficult.
"It's a tricky decision to come to because you never want your career to end like this."
Marshall was concussed for the first time this season in Birmingham's opening game against Leeds Rhinos on 14 March.
It left her feeling nauseous for days, but she completed return to play protocols and was feeling fine when she lined up to face leaders London Pulse on 13 April, only for a collision in the third quarter to end her game and ultimately her life as a professional athlete.
Marshall was attempting to catch a pass when she collided with Pulse goalkeeper Darcie Everitt and hit the deck, the back of her head banging against the court at Worcester Arena.
The match was paused for 20 minutes as Marshall was treated and taken away to hospital for checks and a CT scan.
Those showed up clear, but Marshall has endured a dismal time since.
She is seeing a neurological physiotherapist as she looks to lead a normal life again.
"I was quite unwell for the first 10 days or so, not really able to do very much, and I'm not back to normal yet but I'm better than I was," she said.
She recalls being in the ambulance, helpless.
"You think, 'oh wow, I've just had one particularly big head knock and now the second one'," said Marshall.
"I've got a medical background from studying physiotherapy at university, so I was well aware of the dangers of having two concussions quite close together.
"I've had a couple earlier in my career as well, so I was quite aware it's a very serious injury. I had an MRI yesterday.
"There's a misconception with concussions where perhaps people think it's a little bang to the head and you're going to be OK afterwards.
"Hopefully I do make a full recovery, but this one's been quite scary.
"There's been quite a lot of fairly severe headaches, intense pressure in the head, unable to look at any screens, read anything.
"I've been sleeping 12 hours at night, then I'd go and sit downstairs for 10 or 15 minutes and would fall asleep for three hours. Crazy exhaustion."
The Mancunian, who played at centre and wing defence, is described on her Panthers profile as the team's "beating heart".
Previously with Manchester Thunder and Severn Stars, she represented England at youth level.
Injuries to both ankles waylaid her in the past, but not like the concussions.
Athletes in other sports, such as football, rugby, boxing and American football, have suffered long-term damage to the brain through repeated head trauma.
"With this, you're a bit of a prisoner to your own brain. You can't read a book, or you can't go out to a coffee shop because it's too over-stimulating," Marshall said.
"That's the scary nature of this injury and why I've come to this decision.
"I told the girls this morning at training and it was quite emotional. I'm devastated."
What comes next for a woman who had been all in on netball, relishing being at the domestic pinnacle of a sport that has plans for large-scale growth in the next decade?
"I don't really know," she said. "I'm sure as one door closes, another will open."
Marshall doesn't harbour any ill feeling towards Everitt, who was given a two-minute penalty following the collision.
"I've had communication with Darcie since the incident. She was going for the ball and it's one of those things. It happens," Marshall said.
"I was quite unlucky to be on the receiving end of two of those this season, but it's the nature of the game unfortunately."
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